Army Pipe Specification

[Old Koreelah]

1. All pipe is to be made of a long hole surrounded by metal or plastic centred around the hole.

 

2. All pipe is to be hollow throughout the entire length - do not use holes of different length than the pipe.

 

3. The ID (inside diameter) of all pipe must not exceed the OD (outside diameter) - otherwise the hole will be on the outside.

 

4. All pipe is to be supplied with nothing in the hole, so that water, steam or other stuff can be put inside at a later date.

 

5. All pipe should be supplied without rust; this can be more readily applied at the job site

 

Note: Some vendors are now able to supply pre-rusted pipes. If available in your area, this product is a recommended thing, as it will save a great deal of time at the job site.

 

6. All pipe over 500 ft in length should have the words "LONG PIPE" clearly painted on each side and end, so the contractor will know it's a long pipe.

 

7. Pipe over 2 miles in length must also have the words "LONG PIPE" painted in the middle so the contractor will not have to walk the entire length of the pipe to determine whether or not it is a long pipe or a short pipe.

 

8. All pipe over 2 metres in diameter must have the words "LARGE PIPE" painted on it, so the contractor will not mistake it for a small pipe.

 

9. Flanges must be used on all pipe - flanges must have holes for bolts, quite separate from the big hole in the middle.

 

10. When ordering 90 degree or 30 degree elbows, be sure to specify left-hand or right-hand, otherwise you will end up going the wrong way.

 

11. Be sure to specify to your vendor whether you want level, uphill or downhill pipe - if you use downhill pipes for going uphill, the water will flow the wrong way.

 

12. All couplings should have either right-hand or left-hand threads, but do not mix the threads, otherwise, as the coupling is being screwed on one pipe, it is being unscrewed from the other.

 

13. All pipes shorter than 25 millimetres are very uneconomical in use, requiring many joints - they are generally known as washers.

 

14. Joints in pipes for piping water must be water-tight - those in pipes for compressed air, however, need only be air-tight.

 

15. Lengths of pipes may be welded or soldered together - this method is not recommended for concrete or earthenware pipes.

 

16. Other commodities are often confused with pipes - these include: conduit, tube, tunnel and drain. Use only genuine pipes

 

17. Pipes with rifling in them to temporarily store projectiles while they are enroute the target must be marked “FOR MILITARY USE”

 

 

[facthunter]

IF that's meant to be funny, it's a fairly hollow joke. It was almost endless and I had trouble containing myself. Nev

 

 

[PA.]

I wanted to be a Plumber, turned out it was just a pipe dream.

 

 

[alf jessup]

I wanted to be a Plumber, turned out it was just a pipe dream.

I found it to be a sh!t of a job working with turd$ all day and no matter what I did I was always in the sh!t whoever I did a job for.

 

Alf

 

 

[PA.]

At least you managed to pass time.

 

Sorry to dump that on you.

 

 

[bexrbetter]

Was that all there is? I wanted the hole story ....

 

 

[Old Koreelah]

The surge of posts injected a bit of levity, but it seems to have run out of steam.

 

It was time for all the political pressure to syphon away and let people channel their wit. Maybe time to close the tap.

 

 

[PA.]

I'm drained.

 

 

[bexrbetter]

The surge of posts injected a bit of levity, but it seems to have run out of steam. .

It can continue, just don't faucet.

 

 

[Marty_d]

Someone sent me this yesterday, which is a fairly accurate portrayal of where I work. Along the same lines as the pipe specifications...