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More one - liners from Phil. . .

Phil Perry

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I have a gorgeous lady friend who worked for South East Queensland Electricity. . . . . . . D'yer wanna Meter ? ? ?


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A short history of the Condom . . . . .


I've always been a keen student of historical trivia,. . . . . but I didn't know this. . . . . .


Did you know that In 1272, the Arabs invented the condom, using a goat's lower intestine ??.


Well, aparently it's true.


However. . . . .in 1873, . . . . the British refined the idea, by first removing the intestine from the goat.


But hey, . . . . . . .No need to thank me, . . . I do this as a public service for the advancement of edification.



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A foreign legion fort got a new commanding officer.


After a couple of weeks in the desert he was missing female company. He called over his sergeant and asked what the men did when they wanted sex. "We have a camel" replied the sergeant. "That's absolutely disgusting" said the commanding officer, "take the camel out and shoot it". The sergeant protested that the men might mutiny, but the commanding officer was adamant.


The sergeant took the camel out into the desert. But he could not bring himself to shoot it, so he tied it to a handy shrub which grew nearby, fired his rifle in the air and went back to the fort. That night he went out under cover of darkness, brought the camel back to the fort and hid it in the basement.


After a few more weeks the commanding officer is feeling a stirring in his loins and calls the sergeant into his office.


"Did you really shoot the camel?" He asks. "Yessir, I shot the camel as ordered" replies the sergeant.


"Come on sergeant, we're all men of the world and I won't discipline you" says the commanding officer "I don't think you actually shot something so important to the men's morale, where is it?"


"oh alright sir, it's in the basement" says the sergeant.


"Lead me to it", says the commanding officer.


So down to the basement they go, and as he opens the door the commanding officer is loosening his trouser belt. "That'll be all" he says to the sergeant.


There follow great sounds of commotion, and the camel bellowing deafeningly. A few minutes later the commanding officer re-appears. "Sergeant, that was one of the worst experiences of my life, I'm thoroughly ashamed of myself" he says "Do all the men really get sexual gratification with the camel?".


"Not really sir", says the sergeant. "They usually ride it to the whore-house in Cairo."



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