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The Never Ending Story


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.... "I wish Tomo the Iphone salesman would let up../.. because I own a different brand, and ...............

The Rat, being a Treo user, would be interested to learn that Palm, maker of the Treo, have commenced legal action against I-phone!

 

They claim that I-Phone enthusiasts always seem have their Palms on it....008_roflmao.gif.1e95c9eb792c8fd2890ba5ff06d4e15c.gif

 

 

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....... became a rasp, then turned into an angle grinder, which developed into .......

........ check the nationality of.   "Look bro" the kiwis said "Thut Aussie is coming back for another go at us and ut looks like he has another sex bombs."   "Thut's a wee problem

........ had been misquoted by Turbo bin Plonker, as it was actually "الله أكبر" that he ried as he climbed awat.   This post by Turbo Garbage-Bin had attracted the attention of VicPol and d

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Turbo was becoming increasingly alarmed at the careless cacophony of custard-brained culture that RuleFlouter had caused.

 

His mind went back to the days of the Kelly gang, and with a start he remembered an eerie experience he had long ago.

 

 

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No nothing like that, Turbo used to set the trim in the Warrior to fly hands off, set the alarm on the clock with the second hand, a and go to sleep for a couple of hours.

 

(When he woke up all the other AC would have been tied down)

 

 

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……and long ago was when turboculture was a lad, Ned was his role model.

 

Ned had taken the young lad under his wing (manner of speaking aviationese), taught him how to use a Winchester & spud gun against unworthy targets, how to set up a padlock-and-string VG with secondary uses for navigating flying machines in the dark, or cloud.

 

No doubt the young lad even invented cork lead acid cells to illuminate the cockpit, for these were the days before engines & alternators.

 

“Such is life”, echoed turbo in his now doting age……..

 

Dam, time’s run out on me again, someone else’ll have to finish this for me……..

 

 

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The NES make believe stories about the Kelly Gang brought to Turbo’s mind an eerie experience he had many years ago at the Brisbane Truck Show.

 

It was about 8.30 pm on a Saturday night in the early 1990’s, he’d been there for three days and his feet were aching and mind reeling from all the conversations.

 

A nice looking man came up and politely said, “Hi my name’s ***** Kelly, could you give me some information on…….”

 

Turbo asked, as he got the brochures ready: “Would you be one of THE Kellys?”

 

The man started back in shock, and realizing he couldn’t cover up a reaction like that, quietly said “Yes” at which point it was Turbo’s turn to start back.

 

He went on over twenty minutes or so to outline his relationship back to the Greta dynasty, and explain how he didn’t do this often because the family were intensely private.

 

Turbo was amazed, and said he really appreciated being given an insight into history like that.

 

But what happened next made his hair stand on end.

 

“You realise they didn’t hang Ned, don’t you” he said

 

Obviously noting Turbo’s slobbering open mouth, he went on “Ned got away early, and *_* was hanged in his place – photos were only just coming in at that time, and only a very few people knew what he really looked like. He worked his way up here to Queensland and lived his life out.”

 

He went on to tell Turbo that one of the relatives was going to put the full facts down in a book, but foolishly Turbo didn’t keep in touch, and never got any more of the story.

 

In 2005 Ipswich Councilor Paul Tully requested a full Victorian Coroner’s inquiry to find out if Ned’s younger brother Dan and fellow gang member Steve Hart survived, following speculation the pair escaped to Queensland.

 

The Independent (UK) reported on 3/7/05: “Kelly expert Barry McArthur is reported to believe that it is Ned Kelly who escaped and lived in his dotage. His theory is that it was Dan who was tried and hanged in Melbourne.”

 

Who can tell where the truth is, it was an eerie experience for Turbo, but he believes there must be some element of truth in it, because when he was searching for any details of this Queensland connection he came across an ad for “Ned Kelly’s Gold Coast Airport Hire Service."

 

 

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In 2005 Ipswich Councilor Paul Tully requested a full Victorian Coroner’s inquiry to find out if Ned’s younger brother Dan and fellow gang member Steve Hart survived, following speculation the pair escaped to Queensland.

The Independent (UK) reported on 3/7/05: “Kelly expert Barry McArthur is reported to believe that it is Ned Kelly who escaped and lived in his dotage. His theory is that it was Dan who was tried and hanged in Melbourne.”

 

Who can tell where the truth is, it was an eerie experience for Turbo, but he believes there must be some element of truth in it, because when he was searching for any details of this Queensland connection he came across an ad for “Ned Kelly’s Gold Coast Airport Hire Service."

 

 

'I know what happened" chirped the DL. "Ned was indeed stretched beyond his elastic limit ..... however over the years he has been accepted by the general public as "Just a naughty boy" and like me, he is now reincarnated each time he kicks the bucket and he lives on. He is now a U25, drives a WRX, street races and every time he is arrested he says "Way dude, this is so uber cool, like, but life is indeed bogus." and then he adds ..........................

 

 

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'I know what happened" chirped the DL. "Ned was indeed stretched beyond his elastic limit ..... however over the years he has been accepted by the general public as "Just a naughty boy" and like me, he is now reincarnated each time he kicks the bucket and he lives on. He is now a U25, drives a WRX, street races and every time he is arrested he says "Way dude, this is so uber cool, like, but life is indeed bogus." and then he adds ..........................

with a never ending grin "I supposed I'll be restricted to Dalby Officer?"

 

 

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with a never ending grin "I supposed I'll be restricted to Dalby Officer?"

 

"What Tubb" yelled Ned with alarm and disdain "Are you calling me a Queen's-lander? I have never been so insulted .......... and the last bloke that did that ended up ...................

 

 

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"What Tubb" yelled Ned with alarm and disdain "Are you calling me a Queen's-lander? I have never been so insulted .......... and the last bloke that did that ended up ...................

 

L'Rat had become disorientated, since it was Ned who had been speaking (in the first person) and had called HIMSELF a Queenslander, or intimated such, since Dalby was located in the godforsaken back blocks of that State.

 

It probable that the rat had become light headed after managing to pick the 72 locks on Ahlo's Sprortzar, hop in, and eat some of the seat lining.

 

 

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... being the Queen of some land....

=======

 

Now how's that for ironic eh....? a bloke being a Queen...

 

 

 

....... "See" yelled Ned with riotous indignation "Even Tomo has never been so insulted, and HE lives there (not that there is anything wrong with that). But it's like the Poms" added Ned "Why would you live in either joint when you could hang out around Wangaratta and Toc, not to mention The Rock (which now has 2 Cruise Missiles circling it till dooms-day .... boy I wish I had a couple of them in my day and that train at Glenrown would have been toast), and .............

 

 

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..the rat had become light headed after managing to pick the 72 locks on Ahlo's Sprortzar, hop in, and eat some of the seat lining.

Ewww! What a terrible thought. :yuk: Something eating anything that ahlow has had his butt near...:yuk::yuk:

 

 

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L'Rat had become disorientated, since it was Ned who had been speaking (in the first person) and had called HIMSELF a Queenslander, or intimated such, since Dalby was located in the godforsaken back blocks of that State.

 

 

"Bugger that" responded Ned with his hackles up "The Rat is right (as usual). It was that lowlife Turbsy who called me a Queen Slander and he writ it his self ..... so leave the Rodent alone or my gang-member BigPete will .....

 

 

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Ewww! What a terrible thought. :yuk: Something eating anything that ahlow has had his butt near...:yuk::yuk:

 

My Aunt asks "Where did this Americanism word "butt" come from and why is it now in such wide useage, when we have a perfectly good Aussie word ("bum") with identical meaning?

 

 

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Ewww! What a terrible thought. :yuk: Something eating anything that ahlow has had his butt near...:yuk::yuk:

Quite right, Turbo apologises without exception to The Rat for suggesting he would go anywhere near THAT location, and suffer privations not seen since the sailing of the First Fleet and suggests he may have eaten part of the antenna, all the time with his nose out the window.

 

 

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"Bugger that" responded Ned with his hackles up "The Rat is right (as usual). It was that lowlife Turbsy who called me a Queen Slander and he writ it his self ..... so leave the Rodent alone or my gang-member BigPete will .....

".....hit you with that plastic toy of his, if he can stop the pppppppppppppppppppppplllllllllllpppppppppppppppplllllllllpppppppppppppppppplllllllllll plane noises long enough.

 

 

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"What Tubb" yelled Ned with alarm and disdain "Are you calling me a Queen's-lander? I have never been so insulted .......... and the last bloke that did that ended up ...................

 

"........as extra mince flavourin for me orse."

 

 

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My Aunt asks "Where did this Americanism word "butt" come from and why is it now in such wide useage, when we have a perfectly good Aussie word ("bum") with identical meaning?

Captain's Aunt could be a nuisance when multiple posts were being thrown at the rate of a Tasmanian fencing contractor, but Turbo will attempt to explain to Auntie.

 

British Derivation

 

In Elizabethan England, the gentry went right off the rails in an unwanted attempt to have a specific word of eveything - so featherstonhough, pronounced festonhuff represented the third wing feather on the left wing of a southern black cross cuckoo.

 

In time the little lean to at the back of the house was called a Bummery, so no one could mistake it, for example, with the Dining Room.

 

It looked like....well we won't go there, but in time it was shortened to Bum, and that;s where it would have stayed, if one of the less couth ancestor's or Captain's....but we won't go tere either.

 

American

 

Who knows

 

 

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