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The Never Ending Story

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question.gif.3fab79942766b9e477be0b131a0a3b3b.gif:star:068_angry.gif.e6e3bad802304927655e1c48b61088cd.gif:yuk:"Come in Crappy Number 5, your time is up. Stop looking at Russian Girls that say they want to meet you.


"Come in Big Peter, which is what they're really after.


"Come in Geoff. By the way Bunnings have ceiling paint on special and you could always use a roller for a quick job, just to shut the boy's up.


Dont put up with their crap, i'm envious of what you've got anyway, for what it's worth.


Planey has had a few issues with his computer and thinks it could also do with a coat of newness (even with a roller).


hihosland has had time to think about posting longer posts about the "Ratbag Pack" who have kept this thing going.


Ben who always thinks a bit along the blue line, is either polishing his new toy beyond the gel-coat, mowing his strip in readiness for the RAA lawn inspectors, or, calculating the revenue from Friarpuks plonk sales at the next fly-in.


Paley's valued comments are also about to spark ino life, and hopefully many others too------------------------------------------------meanwhile.


PS. please note that I saved money by not using these 006_laugh.gif.d4257c62d3c07cda468378b239946970.gif;)049_sad.gif.cfa4f274d7bd070bd6a24b809e8799ba.gif031_loopy.gif.791dd61f4721144544bc840fb53eec3f.gif051_crying.gif.edc6b33a234e272ee13f0ec0ae40b12a.gif:confused:011_clap.gif.8adfe837b4189ee6622bf4917d6a88c0.gif:big_grin:025_blush.gif.8e2ecc192cc98853ac4370dddcd7cf74.gif049_sad.gif.cfa4f274d7bd070bd6a24b809e8799ba.gif:ah_oh::black_eye:024_cool.gif.e4faea8b8d6d5d6e548e269d4b8acbd2.gif:)018_hug.gif.0182e32b48b2df8aaf412ac8488cf68a.gif:nerd:i_dunno:keen::thumb_up:thumb_down:censored:092_idea.gif.5aecf2098b24482891c0ced75da80e68.gif087_sorry.gif.e8469ebb2a7ac46e73a3142c7c39aefd.gif



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....... became a rasp, then turned into an angle grinder, which developed into .......

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........ had been misquoted by Turbo bin Plonker, as it was actually "الله أكبر" that he ried as he climbed awat.   This post by Turbo Garbage-Bin had attracted the attention of VicPol and d

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News Flash.


The planning of events for Narromine next Easter, is well under way.


Rumor has it;), that one of the star attractions to pull the crowds in, could be an appearance of The Easter Bunny:cool: arriving by the long awaited Millenium Master.


However, this attraction may well be outdone.


It is understood that the well known Riverland girl has agreed to to defy death, once again, by taking to the air suspended only by her knicker elastic from a Victorian based Jabiru, as she did by accident, after being hooked up during a fly-fishing trip some months ago.


This a real crowd puller, and an event not to be missed.


Due to safety concerns on approach, the barbed wire fence will this time, be temporarilly removed, to overcome the evertightening circuits flown when she got caught prior to touchdown, last time this feat occured.


McDonalds have set up a hotline for aerial-delivery of burgers, and all orders are expected to be delivered with free flies.


Hopefully our mate Slarti will be there with his flying BBQ cooking up his snagaroos, so nobody needs to go hungry.:thumb_up::thumb_up::thumb_up:


Please post your suggestions, for other ideas to help make this event a resounding success----------------------



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It's so good to see Prior Preparation Plus Planning Preventing Piss Poor Performance - (the eight P's) :thumb_up: BUT, :ah_oh:


What about AVALON question.gif.3fab79942766b9e477be0b131a0a3b3b.gif:question:question.gif.3fab79942766b9e477be0b131a0a3b3b.gif


As at this time our intrepid leader IanIfItDoesentMoveSellIt :big_grin: will not have his tent and goodies at the show. 088_censored.gif.03b4fab6f26a58d5cdf75ba85c450225.gif What's a poor forum member to do question.gif.3fab79942766b9e477be0b131a0a3b3b.gif


Where will we meet question.gif.3fab79942766b9e477be0b131a0a3b3b.gif Who's going to give us free coffee and bickies question.gif.3fab79942766b9e477be0b131a0a3b3b.gif


We need a plan 040_nerd.gif.818f42a429bd433d10428d88b6b4d49f.gif


1. Who plans to fly in?


2. Are you camping at Lara Sports Ground?


3. Can we please wear Forum name tags?


4. What about a meeting place at a certain time every day?









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Good suggestions there PPPPete & PPPPlaney


Re Planeys points on Narromine:


  • Geeeeez the Easter Bunny must have a quid (or a shipload of Euros stashed away in a Banke Accounte de Swisse) if he lobs in an MM.
  • I will contact Julie Andrews (and Anthony) to see if they are interested in a kip under the wing and to share a sleeping bag with Le Crappee.
  • If they can't come, does anyone have a JA style wig for Planey to wear?
  • Will also see if JA can hook us a St George Dragon suit in Ian's size.
  • I leave it for PPPPPPPete to negotiate with the RRRRRiverland GGGGirl.
  • Do you think thre is any merit in the NES contributors grabbing 5 parking spots together so we can all laugh at each other's jokes and the others won't get bored with that? (We can also all chip in and paint Geoff 160 while we are there).


Re PPPPete's ppppoints re Aaaaavalon:


  • I'm gunna fly in but have been speaking with one of the Airshow Peas and he is looking into it further as flying in all looks a bit hard based on the changed regs .... like all sneaking in super early each day, which is hard if you are coming any distance, and like you have to stay until Sunday night if you accept their invite to display (so you won't get home until Monday and might be stuck at Avalon if the weather turns sour, so how do you get out if stuck there until Wed and the TWR is back in full swing etc).
  • Yes we should all meet up down there. I'll bring some Iced Vovos.
  • Yes to Lara if the above can be resolved.
  • Yes also to name tags, but aren't you a bit worried about walking round with BigPete on your left breast.
  • A definite Yes to all meeting up. I wonder if Jabiru will let us have some space ... or we can maybe drive the RAA mad in their tent. We can perhaps start each meeting by talking about Ian.


Does this help?




Le Crapp



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The Captain makes some very good points, as does BigPete, like wearing forum nametags.


With several of us wearing tags bearing the title "Most Moderated 2008", at least it narrows the field a bit to the ratbag few:laugh:006_laugh.gif.d4257c62d3c07cda468378b239946970.gif


I suppose The Easter Bunny who keeps getting his long ears slammed in the canopy, should'nt be too hard to spot.



Now to the important bit.


Planey has a bit of a problem, and needs some advise from his mates. (if there really are any).question.gif.3fab79942766b9e477be0b131a0a3b3b.gif


He's been offered a double room for the Narromine weekend, and suffering from a few aching muscles, wanted to get better value for his buck, by sharing with the Riverland Girl who could sooth his muscles at the end of the day.


However, she is knowwhere to be found:sad:, and he's not interesed in any offers from aviators who'd would wear a Julie Andrews wig just to get accomodation at the show:yuk::yuk::yuk:


I suspect that this thread has slowed down a bit as others may be trying to find her as well.


However, I have the nice smelling oils,;) soft music:heart: and even a box of romantic candles from the Asian $2 shop down the road, so other blokes don't stand much chance.


I won't be arriving in my own flying machine with three wheels:crying:, but possibly more like a one hundred wheeler, courtesy of State Rail on a pensioner ticket.


Anyway, I have reliable information that she's not a snob:question:006_laugh.gif.d4257c62d3c07cda468378b239946970.gif:laugh:


Get well soon PPPPPPPete, hope you manage to get over that sssssstuttering problem.


Kind regards






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Hey CCCCCCCaptain,


Sorry, but I think I might have have caught PPPPPPetes ssssstuterbug. Maybe its a Victorian thing.


I've been away to MMMMMelbourne for a week ,and waved to everyone as the Virgin flew me over the top. I returned to expect lots of posts saying they'd seen me give a friendly wave but not a bloody thing.


I've just confirmed my double-room booking for Narromine under the name of Mr & Mrs Riverland, so hope your all a lot friendlier if I / we should see you out there:sad:question.gif.3fab79942766b9e477be0b131a0a3b3b.gif







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  • 2 weeks later...

The Riverland lass has had a re-think about attending Narromine and simply boosting planey's ego, just to get cheap accomodation.


It is probably better that she has decided to share herself around (as she always has in the past) and enjoy everyones company.


Planey booked a room with a double bed, and only needing half of it, made the girl an offer.


She originally honoured the offer, and it was hoped that it would be a weekend of "honour and offer"051_crying.gif.edc6b33a234e272ee13f0ec0ae40b12a.gif:crying:051_crying.gif.edc6b33a234e272ee13f0ec0ae40b12a.gif.


Accomodation in town for the Easter weekend is filling up fast, so anyone needing to book, should do so ASAP.


To quote BigPete------- We need Prior Preparation Plus Planning Preventing Piss Poor Performance - (the eight P's), or as my kiwi mate would say "088_censored.gif.03b4fab6f26a58d5cdf75ba85c450225.gif-t, shud hiv thunk aboot tit sex months ago"


Regards Planey



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With Caroline the Riverland Lass giving Planey the slip, he has been left with about 5 Viagra tablets that are looking for a home.


What will he do with them, or who will replace Caroline?


The Crappy has the iced Volvo's ready for Narromine and Avalon, and will also arrange another truckload for the Wide Bay Airshow too in 2009.


But we need some coffee, however don't worry about spoons as Planey will be able to stir them about 5 times ..... and will be able to prop the RAA Marquee up too.


However where is PPPPPPPPPete?



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PoorOldPete won't make it Narromine this year, 088_censored.gif.03b4fab6f26a58d5cdf75ba85c450225.gif 051_crying.gif.edc6b33a234e272ee13f0ec0ae40b12a.gif thumb_down but has been given clearance to attend Avalon :thumb_up: 011_clap.gif.8adfe837b4189ee6622bf4917d6a88c0.gif. To get the freebies, TighterThanAFishesFundamentalPete has agreed to fly in on Thursday and stay 'till late Sunday (or early Monday) and have his J160c on display for everyone to see (afterall they are so rare!(not)). 031_loopy.gif.791dd61f4721144544bc840fb53eec3f.gif


As Ian (I'llSellMYNanaIfITHelpsAviation to his mates), will not be there with the Prop Shop Free Coffee Tent, 051_crying.gif.edc6b33a234e272ee13f0ec0ae40b12a.gif I and hopefully others will probably hang around the RAA tent and make use of their free hot water (bring your own coffee & sugar) (Milk? real pilots don't drink it!). :yuk:


I hear on the grape(withered?)vine that the infamous Biggles$2worth :big_grin: may give a lecture regarding his latest navigation exploits (xxxxx to Avalon on $80 of outofdate biofuel/kero mix 088_censored.gif.03b4fab6f26a58d5cdf75ba85c450225.gif and using a 1955 Sydney street directory 024_cool.gif.e4faea8b8d6d5d6e548e269d4b8acbd2.gif AND rabbits foot "Get me there good luck charm") - if he shows up. :black_eye:







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Tee hee, I'll be at avalon if I can find it.


though I have been told I couldn't find Russia if I started in downtown Moscow.


I might be flying all over the country first, and the lecture will be called: Avalon via Brisbane, or what I thought was Brisbane but only took me 2.5 hours to get there. (might still be Brisbane [one eyed Cheetah fan])


But thats OK, as BigPete points out: fuel is not an issue when you run on a combination of bio-fuel, the smell of an oily rag, and a shot of Bundy to wash it down.


Meanwhile, since I was told off for listening to music, and have had too much time for texting people while flying: I've been working on a way of guitar practise while flying....


Combining a cheap ukelele with a pickup out of the guitar that got run over by a drunken Canberra teenager, and a few circuits from Jaycar, I can wire it to the intercom music input.


This means that I'll increase my concentration levels (important when flying), exercise my fingers to keep of deep vein thrombosis, and will be able to busk at the destination airport in return for a bit of real fuel because I ran out of oily rags, and drank the Bundy to keep the music flowing......


See you at Avalon, just but you have to throw coins in the Ukelele case. I'll be there the whole time, 'cos I'll need the cash to get home. I'll try to find a bigger mountain to cross this time.


Then I can write a trip report about it.088_censored.gif.03b4fab6f26a58d5cdf75ba85c450225.gif:censored:088_censored.gif.03b4fab6f26a58d5cdf75ba85c450225.gif:censored:



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: I've been working on a way of guitar practise while flying....Combining a cheap ukelele with a pickup out of the guitar that got run over by a drunken Canberra teenager, and a few circuits from Jaycar, I can wire it to the intercom music input.

Biggles, while you are there wire a mixing table into that Cheetah of yours and swing by Brissie to Pick me up, I reckon we could have one hell of a party back to Avalon via Perth with a fuel stop in Cairns:laugh:



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Tee hee, I'll be at avalon if I can find it.

The Avalon Tower received a text message that read "Greetings chaps. This is the famous Biggles W Orth and I am bound for Avalon via the CBD and the intersection point at Tullamarine, then tracking direct not above 2000 ft (unless I feel like going up a bit) ............. and what do you mean I have to get some clearance or other? What is the cross-wind as I am coming straight in when I get there, so don't radio back as I have Garth Brookes cranked up to level 31".


PS Where is Caroline?


"Give the lad a break" said the tower supervisor, "He is just a colourful character with a way of writing that makes unreasonable people bristle. And what trouble can he get into with his uninsured Cheetah over Tulla, anyway. You guys should lighten up a bit".


"Come on in BigGles and we'll park you next to BigPete in the display area"



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And so dear reader, :heart: with a flourish 098_welcome.gif.3d5ee1df950cced34f20fdc54b4337e6.gif Biggles$2Worth joins the NES, and does it in style. :thumb_up: In two short posts he has already been allocated three alias: Biggles$2Worth 040_nerd.gif.818f42a429bd433d10428d88b6b4d49f.gif (which can easily be downgraded to: Biggles2CentsWorth if he doesn't behave ;)),


BigGles (OK I'll ask, what is a Gles? 031_loopy.gif.791dd61f4721144544bc840fb53eec3f.gif ), and Biggles W Orth - this one has me stumped! :yuk:


But that's not all - BigglesWhereThe:censored:AmI? Is the first one to fly out of the new Hoxton replacement aerodrome YJCR:


quote "a few circuits from Jaycar" so will he tell us just where this new airport is question.gif.3fab79942766b9e477be0b131a0a3b3b.gif or keep it to himself.


In the meantime, our hero 024_cool.gif.e4faea8b8d6d5d6e548e269d4b8acbd2.gif is being granted SuperStar status by the Avalon authorities, because he flys one of the two Cheetas known to exist at this time. i_dunno(unlike the 1.3 million Jabirus expected to attend (where will we put them?). :yuk: It has been rumoured that the other Cheeta has been booked for highspeed cultivation demonstrations at the next Elmore Field Days. :black_eye: (No Slarti - we will never let it rest :big_grin::big_grin:)







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At Elmore Ross was working feverishly to finish his Jabiru. "I've only got 200 frigging metres to fly to the site, but I can't get these wheels balanced" he said to the crowd gathered outside his workshop.


"I've tried sticking wheel weights on with masking tape, super glue and cow dung, but nothing seemed to work.


"I even took a wheel weight off the front wheel of the John Deere.


"That certainly stopped the tyre balance problem, but it didn't look too good, so I persevered and finally found the problem.


"It was the bearing. When I took it out the wheel stopped rotating down to the heaviest point immediately.


"What a relief. that should fix the braking problem as well".


He decided to try a fast taxi...



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While BuskerBigglesWorth practices playing "The flight of the bumblebee" on his new ukelele setup, he has a wry grin :big_grin:on his face at the thought of all those intrepid flyers searching for YJCR.


He is now designing an inverter to drive his mums one cup at a time coffee jug for use at Avalon. All you caffine junkies out there had better be nice to him if you want a cup, and it's BYOB (bring your own bikkies) and dont forget to throw your gold coin donation into the ukelele case, so he can get home after the shows over.


So there you have it, The Cheeta Catering Corp. The one with the spots on is where you should be able to get a steak sandwich off slarti's hot plate, and the green one for the hot coffee to wash the fat down.:thumb_up:


For those wishing to say G'day to turboplanner, he'll be the one standing proudly by the new Jabiru, looking as though it's in the stall position while on the ground, with the oversize John Deer nosewheel.



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It was a quiet day at the show, but he saw Red Limp coming in the distance and winced as he tried to get a suitable story ready on why he'd fitted a tractor wheel to the front. He was about to say "It reduces prop strikes" when Red asked "Where can I get something to eat and drink?"


"Over at those two tin cans - meat from the spotted one, drinks from the green one" said Turboplanner thinking "that should get the conversation moving"...It did, but soon the day rolled quietly on with the main question being, Can we upgrade this to 850 kg? "Only with 3 point linkage" seemed to be the answer which satisfied most of them.


Becoming bored, Turboplanner stealthily moved over to the other two planes, avoiding Algy who'd been left on guard, and took the long Poll Hereford horns (they're quite rare), bull bar, two of the sixteen aerials and the Conargo sticker off the green one and put them on the spotted one. "That'll get the conversation going" he thought.


Still there were no customers, and he lapsed into memories of how he used to hand prop the old tiger. You had to be careful that the throttle wasn't wide open, as he'd found after having to replace the hay shed, sleep out and two kangaroo dogs.


He remembered the day when the tiger's engine sprang to life and he completed the step through, as you had to do, followed closely by his faithfull dog.


"Ringer cleared the fence at about Mach 2 that day" he thought.


Just then Slarti appeared around the corner....



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Just then Slarti appeared around the corner....

"I'm getting sick of you Jabiru winkers calling my crafted pieces of aluminium sheet a "tin can". And stop referring to me as Slartbuttcrack too, or I'll hit you with my hotplate". He said while he rolled a .....................


On behalf of the previous stalwarts of the NES, particularly Le Crapp, GrandePierre, Planey, Paley, Geoff and HiHo I would like to welcome BigLes, TubboPlaner & Blablabla246. It is good to see some additional contributors with warped senses of humour too.


"I think it's great too" said the Riverland Lass. "I'll scan facebook and see if any of these new contributors are better sorts than Planey and BIGPete, and if so I'll give Planey the boot from the double room @ Narromine, particularly if there is a CCC amongst them."



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"I think it's great too" said the Riverland Lass before she shot off an request to RAA seeking clarification on the fundamental question of " Does sharing a double room with planey gain credits towards passing human factors exam?"



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........ gain credits towards passing human factors exam?"

"We can't read your writing" said the RAA office. "Please confirm that 2nd last word is "factors?""


Le Crappee


The text of my Biggles is in the Sierra



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"I'm getting sick of you Jabiru winkers calling my crafted pieces of aluminium sheet a "tin can". And stop referring to me as Slartbuttcrack too, or I'll hit you with my hotplate". He said while he rolled a .........

.......... little left of the runway.



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And then Avalon tower recieved another text message "hi and thanks for entering the coca cola win a thruster competition, just text back in 25 words or less why you think it is that makes the thruster the ugliest aircraft in the sky. Just then there was a angry voice over the radio it was.......



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There was silence on the radion then he spoke"Heavy Plane Shifter this is Tulip Planter here, we started this thread so we can call vent our sacasim and wit in one place for fun" But just after that there was another radio call. It was biggles he had just done a circuit in the opposite direction and wanted to get permision for a high speed inverted super low pass in his cheetah. ATC responded with.....



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