Bigglesworth Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 Enough. The NES is not your personal forum for tales of illegal flying. This post has been moved to its own thread under general discussion. slarti Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 Good one Bingles. A great contribution to the Never Ending Trip-Report/Never Ending Electrical System Report. "It's always a pleasure to have Bingles drop in" said somebody. "I wonder if anyone will chat him on the rules about getting close to clouds" "Not a chance" said somebody else "As he didn't mention how close he zoomed near them". "He's not a naughty boy, he's actually a ......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest palexxxx Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 "He's not a naughty boy, he's actually a ......... .......Messiah" "What? The Messiah." "Messiah" murmured the assembled crowd. "Look, he left this behind. A 1962 copy of 'Highways of the Riverina'. It's a sign, a sign. Let's follow him, he's the messiah!!!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hihosland Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 highways? Riverina? 1962? More likely Biggles was merely following the tracks in the sand that the lass's Nana made while persuing the messiah of the 60s otherwise known as ...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 More likely Biggles was merely following the tracks in the sand that the lass's Nana made while persuing the messiah of the 60s otherwise known as ...... ....... TrainedKillerPete, who prowled the Riverina throughout the '60's like a cross between Ned Kelly and Shintaro. "Sword play and star knives ain't easy with a garbage tin on your mellon and a squadron of troopers up your clacker" said NedPete "Particularly those SILO municipal plastic wheely-bins." "You should ........................ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ahlocks Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 Oops! :ah_oh: looks like Bungleswad :star: overshot his landing, slipped on a patch of Tabbyskinner's new pussygrease® and ended up in general population!:black_eye: Could this be the start of a new fun feature of NES? :raise_eyebrow: Zot lotto!! :big_grin: Pussygrease® being promoted in the maintenance groups? Bungles being taken seriously?? :confused: (Or in the training section ) While Tapatabby pondered the marketing potential :big_grin:, Lovak braced as slartizotmaster poised his finger ready to dispense justice..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 ...however, coughing and spluttering from his disease, Bungleworf rose above the indignity in his inimitable fashion and went back to answering fan mail. Bungleworf had asked all and sundry to diagnose the disease (having seen some of the posts, Turbo wouldn't have done that), and Turboskinner who was a vet, or more correctly who had attended a Vet course, for the first lesson had seen this type of coughing and sneezing in cats, and diagnosed....fur balls.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest palexxxx Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 and diagnosed....fur balls.... ....."fur balls??" enquired puzzled Buggles, "How could I have fur balls, I shave them regularly, sometimes even have them waxed......do you want to see?...I go to a Brazilian for that." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hihosland Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 Brazillian? “Balls to that†says KeepItLocalPete “Nanna and daughter will keep them shiny and smooth, if a trifle florid, with deft application of a slurry of equal parts FriarTucksPort, Riverland dust and Turbo’sBundy “ Meanwhile Cap’s Tante’s pen which was lost yet again in the garden has miraculously re appeared with disastrous results half produding from……. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 Meanwhile Cap’s Tante’s pen which was lost yet again in the garden has miraculously re appeared with disastrous results half protruding from……. "Righty-Oh" said Skipper "Which one of you dirty buggers inserted my Aunt's pen in there? Come on, and come clean. Was it you Bingles, as we haven't had this type of depravity while you were away (but we did have a fair bit of other depravity)" added Le Crepe. "Did you know that this pussy speaks Portugese" asked Le Crepe Suzette. "Well that means that there is a strong chance that it is a Brazilian" said Le Crapp (who has sampled the delights of Rio and Port Allegre on numerous occasions). That cat ............ Just 14 more posts in my Tante's garden & it will be her 1000th - so don't fix it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 smiled, not knowing he was about to be skun.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 smiled, not knowing he was about to be skun.... ..... not knowing he was about to be skunked. "What does that mean? asked the cat "Am I about to have a white stripe sprayed down the middle of my back, or am I about to be mounted by Pepe le Pieu?" As the NES's leading pussy fetishest, Tink replied "You are about to be ............ Le plume de ma Tante et being cleaned in the garden ... using one of ahlovacs hoses Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ahlocks Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 ...skun by a pen wielding aunt, from a garden with with a fence made from 989 posts. ============== bloody quick post McKaptain beat me.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 ...by a pen wielding aunt, from a garden with with a fence made from 988 posts. Tee Hee... you mean 989 don't ya? The keyboard of the Ahlovakian is slow out in the garden Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 No, said Aklovian, I mean 991 posts including strainers. I seem to strain a lot more often these days.... The sword is mightier than the pen is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 I seem to strain a lot more often these days.... "You reckon that you are straining?" said the cat "How do you think I feel? Have you had a squizz at Pepe lately? He looks a lot like ..................... Don't strain out in the garden as my Aunt doesn't like it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 "You reckon that you are straining?" said the cat "How do you think I feel? Have you had a squizz at Pepe lately? He looks a lot like ............... "....EmoticonPete." At this exciting time where was EmoticonPete they all asked to loud sounds of "zzzz", "zzzz", "zzzz', ARRRGH! as Turbo kicked him in the Thong. "Sorry mate, I'm a bit tired; I've been to the World Fencing Championship and the elimination rounds took a whole week." said FencerPete. Turbo didn't believe him so he looked up on the web and sure enough thgere was the information, hundreds had attended, but according to the website the most spectacular moment occurred after the competition, which FencerPete, a trained killer, had actually won. The trophies had just been awarded when a fly flew through the gathering. The No 3 swordsman in the world drew his sword - Whhht went the sword, and the fly was cut in two. Another fly buzzed through, and the No 2 swordsman in the world went whht, whht and quartered the fly. A third fly came through and FencerPete flicked his weapon, but the fly kept on going. “You haven’t killed the fly!†yelled one spectator. “Ah, yes - the fly livesâ€, replied FencerPete, “but he’ll never be a fatherâ€. BigPete had returned a hero. "What was that about the garden?" he asked "Are you all picking on me again?" So who was making that awful smell?...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ahlocks Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 As the millennium draws near and bungles licks his...err wounds :confused: :yuk: (just because he can)...Lovakian was drawn to reflect on times gone by.i_dunno When safe sex was always wiping your mouth after kissing a girl from fourth grade. :black_eye: When five cents worth of chips was not enough and ten cents was too many. When the Captain was always the kid who owned the cricket bat and not some swashbuckling parrot pilot. :big_grin: When turbo planner was a piece of drafting software and not a feline product manufacturer. :raise_eyebrow: When HiHo was a phrase associated with a horse named silver and not a bloke that could land in a Kmart parking space. :clown: When Bigglesworth was a serious book character and not a ..... ================== Why do dogs lick their balls?..........because they can't make a fist? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 ...notorious explorer rivalling Long John Silver in his exploits, and by the look of it developing a widening fan base, even though he has admitted to having a disease. that was enough to set Turbo dreaming again, and he remembered Liquorice squares, a paper bag full of broken biscuits, so big and so cheap that he can't remember the price, when you could buy a cray tail for BAIT for ten cents...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 Everyone was watching everyone, but Turbo noticed the beady eyed presence of Ho Ho Silver (Ho Chi Min in Pete's day) getting ready to pounce. He'd sharpened his reflexes up by doing touch and goes across his driveway (which had a few pot holes) all morning.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 So who was making that awful smell?...... "Eeet is meee mon dieu" said :star: PepePete :yuk: as he :ah_oh::confused::big_grin::raise_eyebrow::clown: peeled off his skunk costume "For I have been scoffing cabbage rolls in order to impersonate zee Skonk, while I had my way with zee brazilian cat". "Does that mean that I am a ......................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 Three Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 Two and a bit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 Will this be 1000? YIPPEE ............:thumb_up::clown::pig::heart::yin_yan::thumb_up::thumb_up::thumb_up::thumb_up::thumb_up: "Eeet is meee mon dieu" said PepePete as he :radi oactive: peeled off his skunk costume "For I have been scoffing cabbage rolls in order to impersonate zee Skonk, while I had my way with zee brazilian cat". "Does that mean that I am a ......................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 Two..hoo...hooo... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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