The Never Ending Story

[ahlocks]

So it came to pass that aptainkay found his way to the land of grape and then did a NowyouseemenowyoudontPete:question: on poor Donk....

 

"I was just over here sniffin' the corks (which could also be odecay for ottoncay ailstay )" he retorted. "Ad vast Donk, if you wanted to find me, you should have raised the semaphore instead of stuffin' around with them ringy dingy things ".

 

"Hey Krapatainius! we could eaksnay ownday to oradintay while urbotay ansay is away and pinch his grape harvester for BBs!" cryptically commented LovaK (who was still lusting after the cute RFS lassie :heart: with long blonde hair, black singlet top and baggy orange trousers... )

 

...Looks like the weather is going to turn yuk again this week . Probably explains the big RFS team that left Albury Albury for Mexico:broken_heart: this morning.....(did I mention the cute one???)...

 

<Insert obligatory dig at the luddites:>

 

And just in case the Yanks turn the satellites off, your map blows out the window and the magnetic poles flip (can't trust those new fangled compasses now, can we?)

 

Mud north. smoke south. dust in the middle. All you need for navigation init?

 

================

 

The literature of hidy is deceptively naughty....

 

 

[Captain]

......... poor Donk....

"Don't worry too much about that so-called "poor Donk"" said Cap-tinny-ar*e "For Donk was staying in a swank B&B, drinking good wine & doing things with & to Cotton Tails continuously for 2 solid days". (And he has the same activities planned for throughout central Australia over Easter, the lucky dog-ious ............ which has resulted in a warning being arranged for all retirement villages that the supply of edible cotton tails could be at risk around that time).

 

"That Donk is a bit of a goer" said Ahlocks-sly-us "What's the address of the B&B and I'll sms my lbh, bst & bot RFS vol (vision of loveliness) and see if she'll let me make a mess".

 

"Hey Krapatainius! we could eaksnay ownday to oradintay while urbotay ansay is away and pinch his grape harvester for BBs!" cryptically commented LovaK (who was still lusting after the cute RFS lassie

Fear not ahlockius for the good Cap-tinea-us is riding down to Phillip Island later this week for the World Superbikes and will call by oraddintay and give Tubby-san's 601tay a une-uptay (and I'll also collectius his GKL for your use as a spare).

 

"I'm going to buy a set of those orange overalls, and a black tank top" said Nanna, and Ahlocks will be all over me like a RFS rash "But what about my .........................

 

My Aunt has been a bit melloncoly in the garden lately, but has started to come to grips with a pen-dulum or two in recent days

 

 

[BigPete]

...the return of BigPete is eminent.

 

:big_grin::big_grin:

 

my garden is small. 4 tents max.

 

 

[Captain]

...the return of BigPete is eminent. :big_grin::big_grin: my garden is small. 4 tents max.

Almost welcome back Pete.

 

My Aunt would like to reserve 1 of those tents in your garden .... and she says that all she needs is a 3 man tent (or maybe 4 if she gets lucky)

 

 

 

[slartibartfast]

Me thinks the Crappitan doth misunderstand.

 

AstoundinggraspofthelanguagePete was saying that his return will be very important and noteworthy.

 

Not that it is imminent.

 

 

[Captain]

Me thinks the Crappitan doth misunderstand.AstoundinggraspofthelanguagePete was saying that his return will be very important.

 

Not that it is imminent.

Good point Ross. I'm wrong again. Geeez I hate those "word" thingys.

 

I thought he meant that his eminence is imminent.

 

 

[turboplanner]

Was it BigPete or the thong that is eminent?

 

And do we refer to him as His Eminence? or HEP

 

Now let's see, with WGA-BB-WGA fuel, aunt and pen, how many bottles of Brown Bros Muscat did he fit into the Jab?

 

 

[Captain]

Was it BigPete or the thong that is eminent?And do we refer to him as His Eminence? or HEP

 

Now let's see, with WGA-BB-WGA fuel, aunt and pen, how many bottles of Brown Bros Muscat did he fit into the Jab?

I have always considered BigPete as "His Emminence" and the BigCheese of the NES.

 

And to go with that BigCheese I picked up 2 bottles of BB's Limited Release 2005 Victoria Merlot, 1 bottle of their 2004 Patricia Merlot, 2 bottles of the 2008 Pinot Grigio and 1 bottle of 2008 Heathcote Albarino.

 

Let's see you beat that in Japan, Tubbo-san.

 

"If I have a few of those I'll be anyones" said Nanna.

 

"Ok I'll bring some down to the Chewka AAAA Fly-in" said Le Crap.

 

"If you do that .............................

 

The Pinot of my Aunt is in the garden, by the esky.

 

 

[hihosland]

The Pinot of my Aunt is in the garden, by the esky.

 

Eskimo Nanna?

 

 

[ahlocks]

.... Limited Release 2005 Victoria Merlot, 1 bottle of their 2004 Patricia Merlot, 2 bottles of the 2008 Pinot Grigio and 1 bottle of 2008 Heathcote Albarino.

...not a muscat amongst that haul of treasure:question: .... You sure you're a pirate Kraptanius:question:

 

============

 

Was eskimo nanna sitting in the esky?....something cool to slip... er,...(better not go there)

 

 

[hihosland]

'twas because all the muscat had

 

been imbibed that Kapitan-nostalgia

 

did reminiss of a time so long ago

 

that the Eskimo misses Nell and Nanna

 

did become as one in his mental blur.

 

And thus he did recite

 

"So fill my glass and park yer Jab

 

and a tale to you I'll tell

 

Of Deadeye Dick and Mexico Pete

 

and the gentle Eskimo Nell.

 

When Dead eyed Dick and Mexican Pete

 

went forth in search of fun

 

....................... "

 

===============

 

very cold shoulder of the aunt in the garden

 

 

[Captain]

'twas because all the muscat hadbeen imbibed that Kapitan-nostalgia

 

did reminiss of a time so long ago

 

that the Eskimo misses Nell and Nanna

 

did become as one in his mental blur.

As a result. HiHoslander lives up to his name.

 

"I've never been so insulted" said Captinious "Let me know the name of the solicitor that you use."

 

"It's me, and HiHo sure does "use" me" said Nanna "But I haven't had any briefs for a while ... not even cotton tails"

 

"And I don't know how Riverland'ly you all are, but HiHo is a poet and from my experience, all poets are great in the cot"

 

As a result, Ahlocks, who had a bit of a poetic bent (not that there is anything wrong with that) replied "............................

 

The pen of my Aunt, can't, write in the garden, oh ... it's started to harden .... oops, sorry about that, I beg you pardon.

 

 

[hihosland]

When a Jab grows old and its pots grow cold,

 

And the tips of its prop turn blue;

 

When it bends in the middle like a one-string fiddle,

 

It can tell you a tale or two.

 

 

So pull up a chair and stand me a drink,

 

And a tale to you I'll tell

 

About Dead-Eye Dick and Mexican Pete

 

And the aunt of Eskimo Nell.

 

 

When Dead-Eye Dick and Mexican Pete

 

Go forth in search of fun,

 

It's Dead-Eye Dick that swings the prop,

 

And Mexican Pete the gun.

 

 

When Dead-Eye Dick and Mexican Pete

 

Are sore, depressed and sad,

 

It's always a Jab that raises the tab,

 

But the drinking not so bad.

 

 

Now Dead-Eye Dick and Mexican Pete

 

Lived down by Dead Man's Creek,

 

And such was their luck that they supped on muck

 

For nigh on half a week..........

 

=================

 

 

And the Aunt did curse the bloody fires are back in the garden

 

 

[Captain]

When a Jab grows old and its pots grow cold,

And the tips of its prop turn blue;

 

When it bends in the middle like a one-string fiddle,

 

It can tell you a tale or two.

 

So pull up a chair and stand me a drink,

 

And a tale to you I'll tell

 

About Dead-Eye Dick and Mexican Pete

 

And the aunt of Eskimo Nell.

 

When Dead-Eye Dick and Mexican Pete

 

Go forth in search of fun,

 

It's Dead-Eye Dick that swings the prop,

 

And Mexican Pete the gun.

 

When Dead-Eye Dick and Mexican Pete

 

Are sore, depressed and sad,

 

It's always a Jab that raises the tab,

 

But the drinking not so bad.

 

Now Dead-Eye Dick and Mexican Pete

 

Lived down by Dead Man's Creek,

 

And such was their luck that they supped on muck

 

For nigh on half a week..........

 

=================

 

 

And the Aunt did curse the bloody fires are back in the garden

 

"Oh HiHo" said the Riverland Nanna "Your poems really make a girl go gooey.

 

For your tale of the one-eyed Dick,

 

Really does the trick.

 

And make me want to multiply,

 

Because when I do my 2 times 2

 

People think I'm thick

 

While fiddling with your fly (for HiHo is a trout fisherman)."

 

Just then ............

 

 

[turboplanner]

Brilliant Hi Ho, now the other 152 verses I used to know by heart?

 

 

[hihosland]

Brilliant Hi Ho, now the other 152 verses I used to know by heart?

 

===============

 

Sad to say that the Aunt in the tundra garden has been bowlderised

 

 

[Guest palexxxx]

Brilliant Hi Ho, now the other 152 verses I used to know by heart?

I could post the other 152 verses for you if you like turbo, but I might get banned if I did.

 

 

[turboplanner]

I see your schoolong was as good as mine Paley.

 

Hiho - you got any grass left, you seem to be attracting fires instead of flies.......

 

 

[hihosland]

Hiho - you got any grass left, you seem to be attracting fires instead of flies.......

 

 

 

Strong fire front from Won Wron to Bruthen creek. Yarram out of danger, but quite a few farms at serious risk. WSW gusting to 30 kts not helping at all.

 

 

 

====================================

 

 

 

Young Capitan in his sports kaftan

 

And quite replete with the grog of Pete

 

Sledged “son of Shylock†to our Ahlocks

 

Who on the pan awaited Turbo-san

 

 

The Pale one Exx he of Nanna’s ex

 

His can did land in the Riverland

 

Lulled down by the critical mass of the riverland lass

 

into Aunt’s garden in the hope of sex

 

 

[turboplanner]

Isn't BigPete a tease?

 

 

[Guest palexxxx]

I see your schoolong was as good as mine Paley.

I'd appreciate it, turbo, if you would keep my schlong out of these posts.

 

 

[ahlocks]

Oh!! is this how you go your name??

 

'Pale' from lack of blood. 'XXXX' 'cuz the last bit is too naughty?

 

 

[hihosland]

Paley did plead

 

I'd appreciate it, turbo, if you would keep my schlong out of these posts.

 

Are the posts in the garden of the not holy aunt not wholly knot-holey?

 

Or is it that the schlong's not wholly in the not holy aunt’s knot holey post?

 

 

[Captain]

Or is it that the schlong's not wholly in the not holy aunt’s knot holey post?

So with the NES slowing to a crawl, and many of the stall-warts buggering off, Le Crapp decided to introduce a new character.

 

"Forum regulars obviously object to mention of the dreaded schlong, not to mention Le Crepe's Aunt's knot thingy, so stop it or I'll ban you" said Minnie.

 

"OY" said the Riverland Lass. "Me and my Mum and my Nan are the main and only female players in this here NES and there is no room for another of that gender, so why don't you go and do a BigPete?"

 

"This NES is over subscribed with virile spunks of the male type (not that there is anything wrong with that)" said Minnie "And there are enough for all of us".

 

"Just who are you anyway" said the Lass.

 

"I am Minnie Strator and I'm making a run to be the female equivalent of Ian and Slarti's job"

 

"Geeeez" said the Lass "We had better be .................

 

The knot of my Aunt is in the garden, or anywhere else she goes.

 

 

[BigPete]

----she'll be cominn' 'round the mountain when she comes (oh yea),

 

she'll be comin' 'round the mountain when she comes (oh baby),

 

she'll be comin' and a comin'

 

Yeee Haaaa BigBoldPete has returned :big_grin:

 

(and not a moment too soon I'm tippin') ;);)

 

After a long and hard layoff to attend to many family matters (and to earn enough moola to fuel the Jabby) I'm Back Baby. :thumb_up:

 

Now, who's doin' what to whom :yuk:

 

regards

 

:big_grin::big_grin: