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The Never Ending Story


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....... there were all sorts of protests from the RSPCA when they finally got a statement from the Tigress, which read "........

 

 

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....... became a rasp, then turned into an angle grinder, which developed into .......

........ check the nationality of.   "Look bro" the kiwis said "Thut Aussie is coming back for another go at us and ut looks like he has another sex bombs."   "Thut's a wee problem

........ had been misquoted by Turbo bin Plonker, as it was actually "الله أكبر" that he ried as he climbed awat.   This post by Turbo Garbage-Bin had attracted the attention of VicPol and d

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Notice! to all concerned , The Tigress progress association hereby deny any assosiation with the aviator called Issac or the other bottom feeding rat cappy as the last time we saw them up the tigress they...........

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...... were seen to have a paddle with them and were using it to .......

 

THE VERY PADDLE, THAT HAS BEEN ENTERED INTO EVIDENCE.

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....way to try and derail the NES - but it's obvious, that no recent NES contributors have realised that Turbo said "Tirgris", which is nothing to do with Tigers or Tigresses, and which is in fact a Middle Eastern River name, having its origins in "Turgid Grease", a reference to the amount of untreated household waste deposited in it, on a regular basis. As result, when you're stuck up the Tirgis without a paddle, you really are in deep shXX, as defined by......

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......... Wikicentipedia and a full blooded search of the interwebb, while Ratty of-course respects Onesie over there in the surplus endowed sandy joint to the west of Eucla, (and he also respects Turbo's ability to create new words and new spelling which assists the English language) the Skipper has just spent 6 hours searching for any reference to the "Tirgris" River and he can find .............

Edited by Captain
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.......none. Turbo patiently explained that in Biblical times the Tirgris River flowed for four hundred cubits before emptying into the Nile.

Moses Turbone and his large family (It was legal to take a new wife when the old one acted up then) lived on the Turgris River and wanted their privacy so they had the name taken out of Ozrunways, Google Earth and the World names almanac. Turbo admits that he shouldn't have used "in" names on this forum and........

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............ then established the natural progression of word derivations.

 

"Tirgris (100 BC to 100 AD) - Turgid (100 AD - 1200 AD) - Turdy (1200 AD to 1900 AD and occasionally in 2020) - Turdboy  (1900 AD to 1935 AD) - Turbo (19?? AD to 2020 AD).

 

This declension of the now world-famous "Turboplanner" name (he's [or she's NTTIAWWT) now more famous is aviation (avref) circles (avref) than Amelia or Charles) shocked several ........... 

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........who were seeking to reform the aviation industry, and hadn't seen the change sweeping through.  

Not many people know that the paper aeroplane was invented by Tirgris who had been named after the river. He had a tough time of it because paper hadn't been invented, but he persevered, and soon was ...............

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1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

Not many people know that the paper aeroplane was invented by Tirgris who had been named after the river. He had a tough time of it because paper hadn't been invented, but he persevered, and soon was ...............

......... both famous and infamous, because Turdgris's original papyrus airplane (usspellingref) (see outstanding original examples in the Egyptian & Iranian Aviation & Aerospace Science Museum) became the model for the rag & tube (avref) brigade for the next 2000 years, where they .......... 

 

TURDGRIS'S ORIGINAL PLANS ............ ON THE ORIGINAL PAPYRUS.

Turdboy's writing is similarly clear today.

See the source image

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......were increased in size big enough to carry a normal human being, and provide pleasure to thousands.

Of course there were limtations; if you put your hand behind your head for an itchy back scratch it was chopped off by the prop, and the shock absorbers for landings were the C5, C6 vertebrae.

It wasn't long before....................

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........ the papyrus based "rag" and the bamboo based "tube" was redesigned to ..............

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..........disintegrate upon impact, thus spilling the pilots, who over the years had gained an increased of 95th percentile weight, and allowing them to roll along the ground, well padded and often escaping just with scratches.

 

Then along came........

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.....Moses Turdgris, who was the elder Statesman of the Turdbro family group, and he excitedly exclaimed that in his archaelogical diggings, he'd come across Leonardo de Tirgris, who had apparently invented the Drifter in 2005 BC.

 

Moses explained he'd found heiroglyphics on rocks around the Great Pyramid that showed that Leonardo had produced the aerial views of the Great Pyramid for the Pharoah, from the seat of a Turgris Drifter. 

 

However some of these heiroglyphics also showed that Leonardo crashed in a spectacular manner, all thanks to the stone tablets he was carrying, upsetting the C of G of the Turdgris Drifter, thus sending Leonardo into a terrifying spiral that he couldn't recover from.

 

He did manage however, to throw the stone tablets overboard before he hit the ground, and thereby saved his artistic works for future generations to admire. His stone tablets showing the aerial plans for the Great Pyramid are on display in a little-known museum in ........

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...Alexandria.

The Library of Alexandria was the largest repository of information in the world, and  contained the History of the World going back thousands of years. It was burnt to the ground by invading Christians adopting a scorched earth policy as they fought a war.

 

The little-known museum was the original toilet block of the Library of Alexandria and tucked away in a corner there were the Tablets marked 2005 BC. Turbo took photos but .........

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......as always with dubious claims, typically such as UFO's (avref), Yowies, Australian Panthers, and Min Min lights; the photos only showed grainy images, wherein nothing of substance could be identified.

 

"It wasn't my fault!" exclaimed Turbo. "They told me the camera was point and shoot - there were no instructions about taking the lens cover off!"

 

"I don't think you ever went to Alexandria!", said the Giant Jedi Rat. "I reckon you're making it all up! It's all just a figment of your wild imagination, and besides, anyone who can't work out how to use a camera, should have his licences for anything lifted from him. You're a danger to everyone as soon as you climb onto your battery-powered scooter, let alone......

Edited by onetrack
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.... that you obviously also have your hand on "it".

 

Ratty had been searching the interwebb for details on the history of the Tirgris clan, and their family tree.

 

He was shocked when he saw offshoots to Turgis Sikorsky, Turbid Yak, Turgid Mesherschmitt and Turdy Kingsford Smith.

 

"Wow, this mob are the aviation (avref) equivalent of the European Royal Families & our very own Turdboy is obviously the antipodean equivalent of ........"

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1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

They gasped; they hadn't realised.............................

 ....... the fixation that Turbo has with Biggles, seen in the below video with a young and still (then) fully functioning Turbo in the starring role.

 

The film is titled "Adventures in Time", something that Turgid (& Ratty) don't have too much more of, but they both bravely soldier on in the NES anyway, in order to .............

 

 

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.......keep alive those magical moments of flying when you could pull back the throttle and land your kite in a pine grove hidden from the evil Baron Von Runstedt (Planey) in his Deutschvagen with the two machine guns. He always missed because he couldn't make up his mind whether to use the left one or the right one.

 

On this particular night Biggles and Algernon Montmorebcy Lacy had enjoyed a dinner of jellied pheasant and gin in the mess waiting for the moonlight, and as soon as the moon came out they were off, flying over the enemy lines with a load of parts to fix the kites of Ginger Hebblethwaite (Sakty), Lord Bertie Lissie (One Track) and Tug Carrington (Bull).

 

They could see the Germans in their trenches below huddled around fires made of duckboards, and the two Aces tightened their belts as they prepared to land under the overhanging trees of Le Chateau Oeuf.

 

They had also brough 15 cans of petrol to refuel the other aircraft. As they settled under the trees a shot rang out and Algy cried out. He'd been shot through the leg.

 

"Sorry" said Lord Berties who wore a monocole, when really he should have been wearing a Twocycle.

 

"Have ...."

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....to run now, old chap, it looks like the Huns are rapidly approaching. But I'll leave you my first aid kit, and I'm sure you'll be able to bandage the wound quite effectively yourself." 

 

"I have to get airborne quickly, so I can do a recce, and see what's up. It could a major ambush, or it could be Heinreich Hun just having an A.D."

 

"Regardless, I can't hang about, I'm just too valuable to be taken prisoner - and besides, I have all the troop movement orders with me! I'll be back as soon as it's safe! - just lay low, and try not to moan!"

 

At that, Lord Bertie heaved on the prop of his Sopwith Camel, it fired up on the first revolution, and he jumped aboard, as it started to move off. He opened the throttle just as.....

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...........a Hun raised his Mauser and fired.

The bullet richocheted off the taught fabric and dop fuselage, but the heat from the friction started a small file which soon ..............

Edited by turboplanner
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5 hours ago, turboplanner said:

the friction started a small file which soon ..............

....... became a rasp, then turned into an angle grinder, which developed into .......

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