The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

16 hours ago, Captain said:

This became the thing of legend (Turboref) and thereafter the town was known as ................

........ Bonerville, since abbreviated in 1912 to Bone and then to Bowen after bull vacated the joint, but that wasn't the end of the legend that was ...........

 

ONE OF THE CHURCHES THAT WERE BUILT IN BONE IN AN ATTEMPT TO ATONE FOR THE

DEBAUCHERY OF THE 1800'S AND SINCE EXPANDED TO CELEBRATE BULL'S DEPARTURE.

Edited December 10, 2020 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.........Bone. In memory of the huge contribution bull and his typewriter had made to tourism over the years, (it was common now tow see one or two grey nomads in the caravans roll in to Bone, drive down to the "beach" turn around and drive out again) the townspeople raise enough money to build two Bell towers (shown in the above photo), and a ceremony was held to officially name them "bull's bells".

 

Someone suggested they be rung every time an aircraft [avref] took off from the airstrip, but more than half the Councillors baulked at that, instead deciding to name is "bull's Bowen International Airport Facility".

 

For the town of Bowen.......

[Captain]

24 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

For the town of Bowen.......

......... has matured into an internationally renowned mega-town, where the Big Mango had been duplicated in hundreds of Sister Cities around the world.

 

Why, in China, they had broken the rule about just one Sister City per nation, so Bowen was twinned with 243 Sister Cities (plus there were 12 that were twinned with Bone).

 

"We ruv bull" they cried in unison as the ...............

 

THESE HAVE APPEARED ALL OVER CHINA AND IN JENGSHUAN AN 

ENTIRE HOUSING ESTATE HAS BEEN CONSTRUCTED WITH THE PIPS

HOLLOWED OUT AS RESIDENCES.

 

EVEN bull's TYPEWRITER HAS BEEN MEMORIALISED IN QUONGDING

IN PRECISE DETAIL BY THE CONSTRUCTION OF A BIG TYPEWRITER.

IT IS ACCURATE TO THE LAST DETAIL, AS THE BIG SHIFT KEY HAS BEEN REMOVED.

Edited December 10, 2020 by Captain

[turboplanner]

........rail car came slowly to a stop to the sound of a Chinese choir dressed in red jackets singing an Australian song in Mandarin:

 

"I been in cities that never close down

From New York to Rio and Old London Town

But no matter, how far or how wide I roam

I still call Australia home."

 

This was a master stroke by President Xi. They had built a copy of the Big typewriter for $48.95, railed it to Quondeng, and killed two birds with the one stone, on the one hand lifting the spirits of the Quondeng people by telling them this new computer was the biggest in the world and didn't need Elon Musk's Big Battery, and that the Australians had written a song about it, and this would repair relations. They of course didn't speak English so there was no risk there.

 

President XI had also flown the cream of Australia's Industry in, which included Turbo and Cappy and broadcast the ribbon cutting to the world, knowing that tears would come to Albo's eyes when he heard that song and that other guy would have to listen.

 

On the dais Chinese officials had lifted that old dead guy up beside President Xi to lend more weight to the occasion, but he didn't say anything.

 

The mood caught the audience too. A tear came to Turbo's eye when he saw the space where the missing key used to be, and he remembered bull's first post with that missing capital. He didn't remember the rest of the sentence though.

 

Th everyone's surprise, President Xi pulled of another coup by asking Cappy to speak. Cappy was ..................

[onetrack]

....overawed by the request and the size and makeup of the audience, but he didn't let them down. Putting down his (Chinese) gin (because you don't drink Australian alcohol in the presence of Chinese officials any more), he stumbled to his feet, and started on his speech.

 

"Ladees and gennelmen and honoured guests from our greatest trading partner, it is my pleasure to announce that this display will become a permanent reflection of the technological skills of the Chinese people and their ability to deliver on time, and under budget. Of course, their ideas of 'technology' is completely different to ours, but I'm sure we can find some common ground".

 

At this point, the assembled Chinese leaders brows furrowed, and they started whispering amongst themselves - in Mandarin, of course.

But Turbo, who had learnt Mandarin when he was an understudy of Kevin Rudd, heard snatches of conversation, that went ... "这个白痴是谁，谁让他发表演讲？"

 

Turbo became a little alarmed at this point, as it appeared that relationships with our greatest trading partner were about to run off the rails (figuratively speaking), and he had to act fast to save the situation. Accordingly, he jumped to his feet and.....

[turboplanner]

........offfered to build a cat farm in Sichuan Province with local labour and a chain of Colonel diners for the tourists who would flock to see the beautiful lakes. The diners all had a photo of Colonel Sanders but there was no mention of product,so that would work out well. By a fluke, in Mandarin his promise was translated as "pussy and food"  and the region received 17 million booking the next day. This ..................

[Captain]

10 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

By a fluke, in Mandarin his promise was translated as "pussy and food"  and the region received 17 million booking the next day. This ..................

...... also interested a certain ,,''tasmanian"'';., newcomer who thought that it was about time, again, that he got some ........

[onetrack]

....invitations to International-level events, such as Cappy and Turbo regularly got invites to. It was a real problem, Bull pondered, that because he was living in far-off Tassie, that he was "out of the loop", when the invitations were being handed out.

 

As a result, Bull promised himself he had to be in places such as Sydney, and Kapookaville, and Moorabbistan, more often - so that when International-level events offers were being handed out, he was "on-the-spot", so to speak.

 

As a result, Bull turned to power and fuel capacity upgrades for the Jackaroo, so he could make Launceston to Melbourne in one hop, without the need for asking for spare jerrycans, from a passing Sealink ferry.

 

First off, the Fuji Robin had to go, replaced with a Kawasaki conversion. Next, the fuel tank upgrade had to involve......

[turboplanner]

.......something bigger than 3/5 litres and...........

[onetrack]

...something that didn't involve carrying the extra fuel strapped to the rear of the pilots seat. Then Bull spotted a design improvement that made his eyes gleam. It would only take......

[turboplanner]

 .......a few minutes to obtain. Not many people know that towards the end of the 1940s the town of Grong Grong had a very forward thinking Chamber of Commerce. Located on the Newell Highway, they foresaw the Newell replacing the New England Highway in the future, so they built Atom Bomb Park to attract people to the town. This didn't fire becaise people drove the New England in case they got a dose of "Nucular Fallout",  so the Chamber renamed it Rocket Park, and built several giant concrete rockets. This would eventually got them a Big Rocket Award and the right to use "Big Rocket" to promote Grong Grong, but the committee felt that they couldn't start including plural names.

 

The Commitee pushed on and had a little rocket spun from aluminium and placed it on a pole as their logo.

 

All of that history had been forgotten as it usually is in Country towns and the current Chamber had renamed it "Earth Park" as an example of sustainability and a green future.  For some reason tourists weren't calling in any more, and all bull had to do was get that little rocket off the top of the 90 foot pole and he cold bolt it between his undercarriage legs and...........

Edited December 11, 2020 by turboplanner

[bull]

Maitland.................

 

[Captain]

7 hours ago, bull said:

Maitland.................

 

.... which reminded Cappy of his departure from Cessnock after refueling for the quick hop over to Maitland.

 

"But why am I tracking west?" he thought to himself .... and after a forensic examination of the GPS plotter he realised that some d1ckhead had programmed in Maitland SA.

 

Flying lesson 297 learnt.

 

Now back to bull's ....... Maitland ........

Edited December 12, 2020 by Captain

[turboplanner]

......Maitland was the cry, No one knew what it meant, but truckies flashed it on their CBs and within days Maitland was being used in every conversation. No one knew what it meant. Soon it was raised in Parliament at Question Time when......

[Captain]

17 hours ago, turboplanner said:

......Maitland was the cry, No one knew what it meant, but truckies flashed it on their CBs and within days Maitland was being used in every conversation. No one knew what it meant. Soon it was raised in Parliament at Question Time when......

....it was exposed as another litle bull typo.

 

"I've had it investigated by ASIO, CASA & NTSB" said SCOMO (meanwhile, bull was intrigued by this use of such big letters) "And bull's post was supposed to read "land mate (avref)" but his dyslexic fnq typewriter (an Acme 4xX) stuffed it up"

 

"I object" said Albo, who has been a mate of bulls since .....

Edited December 12, 2020 by Captain

[onetrack]

.....Bull started his career putting out political ads with typos in them. However, I guess sharp NES readers have noticed the irony in Cappys reference to "litle" Bull, and it's become obvious, that typos are the hallmark of a good aviator (avref).

 

"I can stuff as many typos in my posts as I like!", said Cappy, "Because I do that with my flight planning, too! - which often has interesting results, when I input CAVOK, and it comes out as CVOK, which is Czech for nutcase, and the confusion reigns supreme in..........

Edited December 13, 2020 by onetrack

[Captain]

49 minutes ago, onetrack said:

.....Bull started his career putting out political ads with typos in them. However, I guess sharp NES readers have noticed the irony in Cappys reference to "litle" Bull, and it's become obvious, that typos are the hallmark of a good aviator (avref).

 

"I can stuff as many typos in my posts as I like!", said Cappy, "Because I do that with my flight planning, too! - which often has interesting results, when I input CAVOK, and it comes out as CVOK, which is Czech for nutcase, and the confusion reigns supreme in..........

...... kokpit letadla československé výroby, kde ...........

 

(Kapitánův český původ znovu prosvítá)

Edited December 13, 2020 by Captain

[turboplanner]

......the flying school office as everyone stops preparing their flight plans in case they missed something very important; does CVOK mean there will be wing-clapping clouds enroute? and it doesn't specify where? Will they be on the coast, in the mountains or up...............

[Captain]

..... in the air (avref) where they .......

[turboplanner]

.....are the most dangerous.

Haveashotatit said he he had decided to stay away from the air, and so avoid the problem, but the group followed Dipsheet who said fitting two extra gauges, which he had developed, solved the problem as long as you took out the AH and ............

[Captain]

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.....are the most dangerous.

Haveashotatit said he he had decided to stay away from the air, and so avoid the problem, but the group followed Dipsheet who said fitting two extra gauges, which he had developed, solved the problem as long as you took out the AH and ............

......... having shot a tit or 2 over the years, bull couldn't resist responding with a .........

[turboplanner]

......suggestion that if lagging is fitted around the exhaust it doesn't heat the air as much, and flying is notably smoother but ...............

[Captain]

49 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

......suggestion that if lagging is fitted around the exhaust it doesn't heat the air as much, and flying is notably smoother but ...............

.... the lagging is often .....

[onetrack]

....the result of dawdling when taking off, and refraining from using cruise power, thus ensuring Bull arrives 1 hr and 45 minutes behind everyone else. However, being Tasmanian, it's accepted that he's slower than the rest of us. But when he arrived 2hrs and 30 mins late to the last fly-in, and missed breakfast completely, he was roundly castigated for.......

[Captain]

1 hour ago, onetrack said:

he was roundly castigated for.......

..... being a little round himself (W&B {avref} are on the limit if you know what I mean) ..... and for being an unhealthy mix of FNQer and Taswegian.

 

"Talk about feral?" commented Turbo "Down here in Danland they are called .....

Edited December 14, 2020 by Captain