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....Gender Appreciation Class I've been to. It makes me fully aware that there's actually 9 different genders, and if you don't even want a gender, you can do that, too!

 

Cappy said, "This is great news! For years, I've been trying to get my gender re-assessed to 'Neutral' - so now's my chance to get accepted as a non-specific, Gender-Neutral creature, and be regularly addressed as 'Mx Cook'!"

 

Bull was somewhat surprised by this news, because he always believed that Cappy was a little off-centre, but had no idea he was........

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BASED ON LEGAL ADVICE ...... Your Captain wishes to formally advise that he doesn't know anybody named Nate, he has never met Nate, and the Captain has certainly never done what Onesie accuses him of

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22 hours ago, onetrack said:

Cappy said, "This is great news! For years, I've been trying to get my gender re-assessed to 'Neutral' - so now's my chance to get accepted as a non-specific, Gender-Neutral creature, and be regularly addressed as 'Mx Cook'!"

 

Bull was somewhat surprised by this news, because he always believed that Cappy was a little off-centre, but had no idea he was........

....... still dressing to the right (which is unusual for a right hander) and that he is ACDC (as well as The Rolling Stones).

 

Turbine Entertainment Inc was now run by Turbinia who thought that both ACDC and The Stones were old pharts and old news, so she was concentrating on promoting The Wiggles and that lady from Romper Room, when Turbo stepped in because he was a fan of Leonard Cohen and asked his daughter to get Leonard on the next plane to play a huge gig at the Moorabbin Town Hall and Pizza Joint.

 

"But daddy" cried Turbinia "Leonard is as old as you are, and about as healthy".

 

Turbo looked embarrassed (and even worse than usual) when he realized that .......

 

 

THE PHOTO OF LEONARD THAT TURBO HAS ON HIS WALL & WHICH HE WORSHIPS

image.jpeg.34f844051eb7714ba2a0d1b6c7f3f05b.jpeg

Edited by Captain
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.........Turbina had a huge tattoo on her right shoulder saying “Ultralight Fliars (sic) get it in the air”

Cappy realised

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......Turbo had made a huge mistake, because Leonard Cohen is actually dead. When he mentioned this to Turbo, Turbo just shrugged it off.

 

"So what? Keith Richards looks like death, and he still plays well to a crowd? These singers can always be counted on to produce a show, even when they look like they're dead!

 

There must be something we can do with Leonard Cohen, to bring him back to life for one more show! Besides, I just love his performances! - particularly when he does that little skip across the stage!

 

The audience will go wild, when they see a bloke who's supposed to be dead, singing and skipping across the stage!"

 

But Cappy was appalled that Turbo would........

 

 

Edited by onetrack
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12 minutes ago, onetrack said:

The audience will go wild, when they see a bloke who's supposed to be dead, singing and skipping across the stage!

 

But Cappy was appalled that Turbo would........

..... even contemplate this.

 

"How will they turn the microphones down enough to suppress the boney rattles, and what if some bits fall off?" expressed Cappy with concern.

 

"Don't worry" replied Turbinia, who was warming to the idea "We'll just ......

 

(The Skipper realizes that this proposed concert would be little different to a bunch of  ancient Wreck Flyers having a few too many beers at the aero club and singing some rollicking wreck flying type songs while dancing with the local CWA chicks).

 

LEONARD'S CONCERT PROMO POSTER WAS ALREADY IN 1ST DRAFT

(TURBINIA CAN MOVE QUICKLY WHEN SHE IS SO INCLINED)

Image result for Skeleton dancing

 

Edited by Captain
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Ask Bull?....Nah don't bother asking me ,said bull I've just realised with all this gender stuff that the only way to fight these lefty things is use their own language.  I've decided to start another sexual preference group it's called superstraights ,and it is a group of now marginalised people who only want to have a relationship with someone of the opposite gender to themselves [real ones] ,,,what with all the lefty phobias I've decided i will make up another phobia for this group called heterophobia  [the fear from the left of normal men and  woman couples]and if i,m attacked for this i,ll report you all to Eaann for hate speech against a minority group [#superstraights].. That's bloody brilliant said...................May be an anime-style image of one or more people, beard and text that says 'Yes, ALL sexualities are valid, you bigot! S Alright I identify as SuperStraight No thats not a real sexuality you can't just make things up thats transphobic!!!!'

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the ranch............Hugh Hefner connection to Wisconsin: Lake Geneva Playboy Club HotelJust follow the bunny said turdo as he strapped on his.............

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......jetpack, ready for launch from the Cessna Caravan at 11,000 ft. Turbo's idea was to launch himself, following Yves Rossy's lead, and fly back to the Ranch, landing right on the Ranch golf course, to promote his latest business venture, which involved selling a new range of jet packs with more endurance than Yves Rossy could ever dream of.

 

"They're powered by a new fuel I've got the patent on", said Turbo, as he faced the media onslaught after he landed (and interrupted an important PGA tournament).

 

"This stuff is potent, and it's also environmentally friendly as it's made from by-products from the Turbine Industries Cat and Rat farms. In essence, it's actually highly refined cats pixx, so you can bet........

 

Edited by onetrack
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"......................the jet packs will go like a rat up a drainpipe"  and there was loud clapping and laughter as the media pack appreciated Turbo's humour.

"Doesn't is smell?" asked one female correspondent who hadn't been briefed and Turbo's lip started to curl, but he was whisked away to his helicopter smiling and yelling something no one could hear, just like the US Presidents and ...............

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...... with that, Turbo backed his jetpack up to the corner of the room, and like the dominant tabby that he is, he lifted his tail, exposed his .......

 

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.....full set of quad pipes from the engines, and revved them up, thus burning 4 neat holes in the adjoining wall.

This led to a mad scramble by all the onlookers, to get away from the smoke and fumes - and while this was happening, Turbo yelled out, "Look, this new fuel doesn't smell, doesn't explode, and its only hazard, is when you......

 

Edited by onetrack
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2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

....about to demonstrate the loose muffler when there was a huge BANG! and ..............

........ the bottom fell out of Tink's .........

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On 13/03/2021 at 6:41 PM, onetrack said:

"This stuff is potent, and it's also environmentally friendly as it's made from by-products from the Turbine Industries Cat and Rat farms. In essence, it's actually highly refined cats pixx, so you can bet........

THIS IS THE LOOK THAT TURDY GETS ON HIS FACE WHEN HE GIVES

ANY OF HIS STAFF MEMBERS A "SPRAY" AND IT HITS THE SPOT.

Image result for male cat spraying 

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[We apologise to NES readers; Cappy has had one of his dementia spells and reverted to a post with 20 other posts after it, but Turbo will faithully follow on the last post, un-numbered post # ******]

 

............on your toes.

 

Several people have correctly PM'd pointing out that there's no igition agent in either cat or rat p!ss.

The combustion ingredient is Chardonny which fits in quite well because many people will tell you it tatses like cat's p!ss.

5% Chardonnay when mixed with the cat and rat waste product catalyses them both (90% Cat and 30% rat) and makes this excellent fuel which gives a huge power boost over petrol, diesel or methanol.

 

Cappy decided he'd put some in Loxie's grandmother's Honda City, and she shot straight off the end of Wagga's main street, and they're still trying to find her and .........

 

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56 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

[We apologise to NES readers; Cappy has had one of his dementia spells and reverted to a post with 20 other posts after it, but Turbo will faithully follow on the last post, un-numbered post # ******]

 

DEAR NERERS. YOUR BELOVED CAPTAIN HAS CHECKED THE RULES & BYELAWS, PLUS HE HAD A 2 HOUR  ZOOM MEETING CONVERSATION WITH EEEEEEAN AND ALL OF THE MODERATTI ILLUMINATTI LAST NIGHT. CAPPY IS PLEASED TO CONFIRM THAT THERE IS NOTHING WHICH PREVENTS AN NESER FROM HARKING BACK TO A PREVIOUS POST. AS MODERATOR 8 SAID DURING THE MEETING "STRICKLY SEQUENTIAL IS NOT ESSENTIAL" ... AND AS EEEEEEEAN HIMSELF SAID "TURBO IS FULL OF ............."  ........................ AND THAT IS THE POINT WHERE THE CONNECTION DROPPED OUT.

Edited by Captain
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1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

The combustion ingredient is Chardonny which fits in quite well because many people will tell you it tatses like cat's p!ss.

This above comment comes directly from the brochures prepared by Turbine Viniculture & Vinegar Corporation Pty Ltd. (It should be noted that they also produce Chardonnay, in addition to the Chardonny as mentioned above by Turbo (which is of questionable quality and is named after his favourite (NTTIAWWTBTW) wine make ...... Donny. As Tubb says, it certainly does appear to "tatse like moggy's p!$s" and that is a pretty crook tatse.) 

Edited by Captain
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1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

Cappy decided he'd put some in Loxie's grandmother's Honda City, and she shot straight off the end of Wagga's main street, and they're still trying to find her and .........

..... the Honda she rode out on.

 

The search extended to ........

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The Rock which was reputed to have been used by bushrangers to store their stolen treasures.

There were many nooks and crannies.

Half way up the rock in a cranny they saw Granny.

”How will they get her down” asked a local hayseed, but  Cappy had phoned for his coffee mate Loxie and soon the Mercedes Benz showed up, but as usual his ladder was too short, and......

 

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1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

The Rock which was reputed to have been used by bushrangers to store their stolen treasures.

There were many nooks and crannies.

Half way up the rock in a cranny they saw Granny.

”How will they get her down” asked a local hayseed, but  Cappy had phoned for his coffee mate Loxie and soon the Mercedes Benz showed up, but as usual his ladder was too short, and......

 

..... so, we threw a parachute up to Granny's cranny.

 

"I didn't mean you to see that" said Granny, who immediately covered her .......

Edited by Captain
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