onetrack Posted March 11, 2021 Share Posted March 11, 2021 ....Gender Appreciation Class I've been to. It makes me fully aware that there's actually 9 different genders, and if you don't even want a gender, you can do that, too! Cappy said, "This is great news! For years, I've been trying to get my gender re-assessed to 'Neutral' - so now's my chance to get accepted as a non-specific, Gender-Neutral creature, and be regularly addressed as 'Mx Cook'!" Bull was somewhat surprised by this news, because he always believed that Cappy was a little off-centre, but had no idea he was........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted March 11, 2021 Share Posted March 11, 2021 (edited) 22 hours ago, onetrack said: Cappy said, "This is great news! For years, I've been trying to get my gender re-assessed to 'Neutral' - so now's my chance to get accepted as a non-specific, Gender-Neutral creature, and be regularly addressed as 'Mx Cook'!" Bull was somewhat surprised by this news, because he always believed that Cappy was a little off-centre, but had no idea he was........ ....... still dressing to the right (which is unusual for a right hander) and that he is ACDC (as well as The Rolling Stones). Turbine Entertainment Inc was now run by Turbinia who thought that both ACDC and The Stones were old pharts and old news, so she was concentrating on promoting The Wiggles and that lady from Romper Room, when Turbo stepped in because he was a fan of Leonard Cohen and asked his daughter to get Leonard on the next plane to play a huge gig at the Moorabbin Town Hall and Pizza Joint. "But daddy" cried Turbinia "Leonard is as old as you are, and about as healthy". Turbo looked embarrassed (and even worse than usual) when he realized that ....... THE PHOTO OF LEONARD THAT TURBO HAS ON HIS WALL & WHICH HE WORSHIPS Edited March 11, 2021 by Captain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted March 11, 2021 Share Posted March 11, 2021 .........Turbina had a huge tattoo on her right shoulder saying “Ultralight Fliars (sic) get it in the air” Cappy realised Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
onetrack Posted March 11, 2021 Share Posted March 11, 2021 (edited) ......Turbo had made a huge mistake, because Leonard Cohen is actually dead. When he mentioned this to Turbo, Turbo just shrugged it off. "So what? Keith Richards looks like death, and he still plays well to a crowd? These singers can always be counted on to produce a show, even when they look like they're dead! There must be something we can do with Leonard Cohen, to bring him back to life for one more show! Besides, I just love his performances! - particularly when he does that little skip across the stage! The audience will go wild, when they see a bloke who's supposed to be dead, singing and skipping across the stage!" But Cappy was appalled that Turbo would........ Edited March 11, 2021 by onetrack Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted March 11, 2021 Share Posted March 11, 2021 (edited) 12 minutes ago, onetrack said: The audience will go wild, when they see a bloke who's supposed to be dead, singing and skipping across the stage! But Cappy was appalled that Turbo would........ ..... even contemplate this. "How will they turn the microphones down enough to suppress the boney rattles, and what if some bits fall off?" expressed Cappy with concern. "Don't worry" replied Turbinia, who was warming to the idea "We'll just ...... (The Skipper realizes that this proposed concert would be little different to a bunch of ancient Wreck Flyers having a few too many beers at the aero club and singing some rollicking wreck flying type songs while dancing with the local CWA chicks). LEONARD'S CONCERT PROMO POSTER WAS ALREADY IN 1ST DRAFT (TURBINIA CAN MOVE QUICKLY WHEN SHE IS SO INCLINED) Edited March 11, 2021 by Captain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bull Posted March 12, 2021 Share Posted March 12, 2021 (edited) Ask Bull?....Nah don't bother asking me ,said bull I've just realised with all this gender stuff that the only way to fight these lefty things is use their own language. I've decided to start another sexual preference group it's called superstraights ,and it is a group of now marginalised people who only want to have a relationship with someone of the opposite gender to themselves [real ones] ,,,what with all the lefty phobias I've decided i will make up another phobia for this group called heterophobia [the fear from the left of normal men and woman couples]and if i,m attacked for this i,ll report you all to Eaann for hate speech against a minority group [#superstraights].. That's bloody brilliant said................... Edited March 12, 2021 by bull Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted March 12, 2021 Share Posted March 12, 2021 ......Loxie. It's time we got off that train to nowhere and went flying at ................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bull Posted March 13, 2021 Share Posted March 13, 2021 the ranch............Just follow the bunny said turdo as he strapped on his............. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
onetrack Posted March 13, 2021 Share Posted March 13, 2021 (edited) ......jetpack, ready for launch from the Cessna Caravan at 11,000 ft. Turbo's idea was to launch himself, following Yves Rossy's lead, and fly back to the Ranch, landing right on the Ranch golf course, to promote his latest business venture, which involved selling a new range of jet packs with more endurance than Yves Rossy could ever dream of. "They're powered by a new fuel I've got the patent on", said Turbo, as he faced the media onslaught after he landed (and interrupted an important PGA tournament). "This stuff is potent, and it's also environmentally friendly as it's made from by-products from the Turbine Industries Cat and Rat farms. In essence, it's actually highly refined cats pixx, so you can bet........ Edited March 13, 2021 by onetrack Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted March 13, 2021 Share Posted March 13, 2021 "......................the jet packs will go like a rat up a drainpipe" and there was loud clapping and laughter as the media pack appreciated Turbo's humour. "Doesn't is smell?" asked one female correspondent who hadn't been briefed and Turbo's lip started to curl, but he was whisked away to his helicopter smiling and yelling something no one could hear, just like the US Presidents and ............... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted March 14, 2021 Share Posted March 14, 2021 ...... with that, Turbo backed his jetpack up to the corner of the room, and like the dominant tabby that he is, he lifted his tail, exposed his ....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
onetrack Posted March 14, 2021 Share Posted March 14, 2021 (edited) .....full set of quad pipes from the engines, and revved them up, thus burning 4 neat holes in the adjoining wall. This led to a mad scramble by all the onlookers, to get away from the smoke and fumes - and while this was happening, Turbo yelled out, "Look, this new fuel doesn't smell, doesn't explode, and its only hazard, is when you...... Edited March 14, 2021 by onetrack Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted March 14, 2021 Share Posted March 14, 2021 ....shake it like this, and he ........................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted March 14, 2021 Share Posted March 14, 2021 ..... was ..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted March 15, 2021 Share Posted March 15, 2021 ....about to demonstrate the loose muffler when there was a huge BANG! and .............. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted March 15, 2021 Share Posted March 15, 2021 2 hours ago, turboplanner said: ....about to demonstrate the loose muffler when there was a huge BANG! and .............. ........ the bottom fell out of Tink's ......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted March 15, 2021 Share Posted March 15, 2021 On 13/03/2021 at 6:41 PM, onetrack said: "This stuff is potent, and it's also environmentally friendly as it's made from by-products from the Turbine Industries Cat and Rat farms. In essence, it's actually highly refined cats pixx, so you can bet........ THIS IS THE LOOK THAT TURDY GETS ON HIS FACE WHEN HE GIVES ANY OF HIS STAFF MEMBERS A "SPRAY" AND IT HITS THE SPOT. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bull Posted March 15, 2021 Share Posted March 15, 2021 .the local dogs will go apeshit and keep you....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bull Posted March 15, 2021 Share Posted March 15, 2021 (edited) [Turdo and loxie ] Edited March 15, 2021 by bull Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted March 15, 2021 Share Posted March 15, 2021 [We apologise to NES readers; Cappy has had one of his dementia spells and reverted to a post with 20 other posts after it, but Turbo will faithully follow on the last post, un-numbered post # ******] ............on your toes. Several people have correctly PM'd pointing out that there's no igition agent in either cat or rat p!ss. The combustion ingredient is Chardonny which fits in quite well because many people will tell you it tatses like cat's p!ss. 5% Chardonnay when mixed with the cat and rat waste product catalyses them both (90% Cat and 30% rat) and makes this excellent fuel which gives a huge power boost over petrol, diesel or methanol. Cappy decided he'd put some in Loxie's grandmother's Honda City, and she shot straight off the end of Wagga's main street, and they're still trying to find her and ......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted March 15, 2021 Share Posted March 15, 2021 (edited) 56 minutes ago, turboplanner said: [We apologise to NES readers; Cappy has had one of his dementia spells and reverted to a post with 20 other posts after it, but Turbo will faithully follow on the last post, un-numbered post # ******] DEAR NERERS. YOUR BELOVED CAPTAIN HAS CHECKED THE RULES & BYELAWS, PLUS HE HAD A 2 HOUR ZOOM MEETING CONVERSATION WITH EEEEEEAN AND ALL OF THE MODERATTI ILLUMINATTI LAST NIGHT. CAPPY IS PLEASED TO CONFIRM THAT THERE IS NOTHING WHICH PREVENTS AN NESER FROM HARKING BACK TO A PREVIOUS POST. AS MODERATOR 8 SAID DURING THE MEETING "STRICKLY SEQUENTIAL IS NOT ESSENTIAL" ... AND AS EEEEEEEAN HIMSELF SAID "TURBO IS FULL OF ............." ........................ AND THAT IS THE POINT WHERE THE CONNECTION DROPPED OUT. Edited March 15, 2021 by Captain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted March 15, 2021 Share Posted March 15, 2021 (edited) 1 hour ago, turboplanner said: The combustion ingredient is Chardonny which fits in quite well because many people will tell you it tatses like cat's p!ss. This above comment comes directly from the brochures prepared by Turbine Viniculture & Vinegar Corporation Pty Ltd. (It should be noted that they also produce Chardonnay, in addition to the Chardonny as mentioned above by Turbo (which is of questionable quality and is named after his favourite (NTTIAWWTBTW) wine make ...... Donny. As Tubb says, it certainly does appear to "tatse like moggy's p!$s" and that is a pretty crook tatse.) Edited March 15, 2021 by Captain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted March 15, 2021 Share Posted March 15, 2021 1 hour ago, turboplanner said: Cappy decided he'd put some in Loxie's grandmother's Honda City, and she shot straight off the end of Wagga's main street, and they're still trying to find her and ......... ..... the Honda she rode out on. The search extended to ........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted March 16, 2021 Share Posted March 16, 2021 The Rock which was reputed to have been used by bushrangers to store their stolen treasures. There were many nooks and crannies. Half way up the rock in a cranny they saw Granny. ”How will they get her down” asked a local hayseed, but Cappy had phoned for his coffee mate Loxie and soon the Mercedes Benz showed up, but as usual his ladder was too short, and...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted March 16, 2021 Share Posted March 16, 2021 (edited) 1 hour ago, turboplanner said: The Rock which was reputed to have been used by bushrangers to store their stolen treasures. There were many nooks and crannies. Half way up the rock in a cranny they saw Granny. ”How will they get her down” asked a local hayseed, but Cappy had phoned for his coffee mate Loxie and soon the Mercedes Benz showed up, but as usual his ladder was too short, and...... ..... so, we threw a parachute up to Granny's cranny. "I didn't mean you to see that" said Granny, who immediately covered her ....... Edited March 16, 2021 by Captain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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