The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

.....it became obvious that the tattoo was of a Dragon because just as bull bent closer to see what breed of dragon it was, it belched a cloud of smoke and fire, singing his hair and nearly choking him with its smell. bull reeled back but was a fraction too late becaise the aftershock, so to speak caught him in the face again and he looked like a cooked lobster discoloured by .....................

[bull]

by the devilish creature apon Cappy,s skin.      It had come alive    [cappy,s toes after the transformation] and manifested into a..................

Edited December 3, 2021 by bull

[turboplanner]

..................hydramatic.

It started arguing with Cappy, and he was outnumbered three to one, not only in the brand of gin they wanted to drink (they liked the cheap Coles stuff) but in a restaurant where they all wanted different food. On the Coay shooting range it was "pullPULLPullpull" and no one knew how to respond, but it was when flying the Jab and giving four radio calls at the same time that got him into......................

[onetrack]

....serious trouble - especially when the four calls at once, all gave different callsigns. The problem came to a head (actually, multiple heads) when Cappy pulled a knife, fully intending to decapitate the three hydras - but as he did so, six more hydra heads appeared, all clamouring for attention, and all giving different callsign radio calls, repeatedly. Cappy had had enough.

 

He landed and promptly decided to visit a witch doctor of high repute, to see what could be done to rid himself of the hydras. He found one residing in a small country town not far from Wagga, and made an appointment. But when he arrived at the witch doctors house, he was a little unnerved to find the witch doctor greeting him with a ........

 

 

And here we have the witchdoctors sick dance, upon meeting Cappy ......

 

 

[turboplanner]

.......before a word was spoken. The witch doctor was an old friend of Cappy's and while many people might think tis is a native Shaman dance, it was just the witch doctor, Wally imitating the movements of Cappy when he's on a full gin bender, and while Cappy was irritated to have this thrown in his face he knew the witch doctor needed a big win to get up enough confidence to beat the nine heads now competing with his and.........

[Captain]

..... this is where Cappy's Kadaitcha training (he is a natural spook) kicked in and he was able to .....

Edited December 5, 2021 by Captain

[onetrack]

......pull out his feather-clad boots that he'd kept hidden in the back of the wardrobe, slip them on (yes, they still fitted), slap some various colours of ochre on his face, neck and chest - then go head to toe with the Medicine Man.

The Medicine Man was quite surprised at Cappy's fancy-footing skills - but it was only when Cappy did a backwards somersault and landed on his feet, that the Medicine Man stopped dancing, in awe at the skills Cappy had just displayed.

But right about then, the local Wirridtdargja elders heard of this Kadaitcha Man that was in town, and they promptly ......

[Captain]

..... inducted Cappy as an Elder ("Well there is no doubt that he certainly is an old XXXX (so respects to all old XXXXX past, present & future), and he has the have the biggest Kadaitcha moccasins that anyone has ever seen. They look like snow-shoes mate. So we want the old XXXX on our side just in case there is any merit in the .......

[turboplanner]

........the story that he once made an entire tribe disappear when they started to arc up at one of Twiggy's developments (RM Williams Boots), and he was always pointing the bone.

 

The Medicine man mixed a power in some water and fish guts oil, took a big mouthful and sprayed it over the hydra heads and POOF! (NTTIAWWT) the heads disappeared. Cappy was free again and said "Let's go and have a G & T.................."

[Captain]

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

........the story that he once made an entire tribe disappear when they started to arc up at one of Twiggy's developments (RM Williams Boots), and he was always pointing the bone.

 

The Medicine man mixed a power in some water and fish guts oil, took a big mouthful and sprayed it over the hydra heads and POOF! (NTTIAWWT) the heads disappeared. Cappy was free again and said "Let's go and have a G & T.................."

...... or three (or eleventeen), then I will point my magnificent bone at .......

 

 

CAPPY'S LATEST SET OF KADAITCHA MODEL SPERRYS.

(RESPECTS TO ALL SPERRY OWNERS, GREAT & SMALL)

 

 

THE TYPE OF BONE CAPPY POINTS (RESPECTS ETC) BEFORE HE POINTS HIS BONE.

Edited December 5, 2021 by Captain

[Captain]

AMONGST ALL OF HIS OTHER TALENTS (RESPECTS TO TALENTED PEOPLE ETC), CAPPY IS ALSO A BRILLIANT SILVERSMITH AND BELOW IS THE TRIBUTE THAT HE KNOCKED UP OVER THE WEEKEND AFTER bULL INTRODUCED THE HYDRA TO THE NES. (NOTE THE NON-SHINY PATINA, WHICH IS HARD TO ACHIEVE IN SUCH A SHORT TIME, AND PARTICULARLY DIFFICULT WHEN YOU HAVE A 2,500 KM X-COUNTRY FLIGHT TO DO ON SUNDAY TOO)

 

 

 

THE BELOW IS ALSO A MODERN RECREATION IN SILVER

 

 

AS MENTIONED ABOVE, CAPPY IS A BRILLIANT SILVERSMITH, NOT ONE  OF THESE AS SHOWN BELOW, WHICH IS WHAT HIS GREAT MATE TURBO (LATIN FOR COCKROACH) CALLS HIM WHEN THEY HAVE ONE OF THEIR FAMOUS SESSIONS ON THE TURPS.

Edited December 5, 2021 by Captain

[Captain]

DUE TO HIS COMPLETE RESPECT FOR THAT CT FROM DG, CAPPY THE SILVERSMITH

KNOCKED UP A QUICK MODEL FOR HIM THIS MORNING. NES'ERS MAY NOT KNOW HOW

DIFFICULT IT IS TO GET THE PATINA ON A 99.5% SILVER MODEL TO LOOK LIKE FIBREGLASS

WITHOUT PAINTING IT, BUT CAPPY HAS ACHIVED WONDERS HERE. BUT THAT WAS EASY

COMPARED WITH GETTING THE SILVER TO APPEAR TO BE SEE-THRU FOR THE WINDOWS.

 

[onetrack]

......the bone-sharpening grinder, and commence grinding away with the bone, which as many NES'ers know, Cappy is very good at, having had extensive experience on many of the......

[Captain]

9 minutes ago, onetrack said:

......the bone-sharpening grinder, and commence grinding away with the bone, which as many NES'ers know, Cappy is very good at, having had extensive experience on many of the......

........ sheep prosthetics that Dr. Cappy has made, and installed (using just his trusty 4" angle grinder).

 

This invention by Cappy, which has heretofore been unheralded in the NES or elsewhere, because Cappy is an modest man, has meant that legs of lamb can be harvested without causing the death of the sheep, and once a suitable prosthetic leg is fitted the sheep go on to live happy & productive lives, although wool production is reduced by 10% as Cappy has had trouble getting prime wool to grow on titanium.

 

But the latest developments in environmentally sensitive titanium have meant that ......

Edited December 6, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

........what you lose in prime wool you gain in pickles, which McDonalds buy at a premium price. Turbine Agribusiness has been helping Cappy with the DNA to grow pickles all over the fleece area because McDonalds pay a lot more for pickles that the world does for their jumpers, these days made out of petroluem byproducts.  It does mean keeping them inside under heat lamps when they aren't eating, but a strange thing happened ..................

[Captain]

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

It does mean keeping them inside under heat lamps when they aren't eating, but a strange thing happened .........

...... when the pickles started to shrink and become black .......... and with that, Turbine Iincorrigibles and Ripoffs Inc (TI&RI) started selling Maccas pickle flavoured sheep nuggets and then started looking at how to attract a premium food price for the offcuts after mulesing.

 

"That will never work" commented Turbo at a TI&RI board meeting "As Maccas don't have any need for mules ......... or even donkeys."

 

"Geeez Louise" said bull, who was in charge of the TI&RI Mulesing Division "Now I need to show Tubb what mulesing is, so come here Turbs and bend over."

 

Turbo followed bull's instruction and while the screams could even be heard down on the 40th floor, there was a .......  

 

THE PICKLE FLAVOURED NUGGETS BECAME VERY POPULAR IN

YUPPY MACCA'S STORES AND THE NAME "NUGGLETTE" WAS

QUICKLY REGISTERED, ALTHOUGH SOME CUSTOMERS WHO

HAD NO EXPERIENCE IN THE BUSH, THOUGHT THAT THEY TASTED

MORE LIKE DARK CHOCKY COATED COFFEE BEANS.

 

Edited December 6, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

..........Knock on the front door. It was the Bank Manager looking for Mr Turbine. Yes NES faithful, even the business moguls have to butter up the Bank Manager. "What do you want him for?" asked Turbo, who'd used that one for years, and normally made some smalltalk, asked the girls to rustle up some coffee and scones, and excused himself before he was discovered. This new Bank Manager had come from the Country and was used to those on the land becoming very clever when they hadn't repayed a loan. He said "Mr Turbine, that $14 million loan payment was due yesterday and I'm here to collect it." Turbo mumbled something about not being able to get good staff and he'd take care of it, but the Bank Manager cust him off at the pass saying he wasn't leaving until he had a receipt for the transfer. Thinking quickly, Turbo said "You're too late", and turning and dropping his pants showed him the mulesing. "The other bank manager forced me to give him the money I was holding for you" he said, and the Bank Manager .............

[Captain]

...... asked if he could touch it (erkyperkyref) as .......

[turboplanner]

...... he was a sadist. Like a fool Turbo who was looking for some sympathy said yes, and the Bank Manager sank his dirty fingernails into the wound. Not having been mulsed, most people won't know how painful that was but we can tell you there's still an outline of a spreadeagled Turbo on the ceiling of the board room, and just in case the bank manager came back for more he transfered the money on the spot. "That's not enough" said the bank manager "You forgot the interest" and Turbo .................

[Captain]

....... let go of the ceiling panels, dropped to the floor like the mulesed gazelle that he is, leant over the boardroom table and again presented 12.5% (interestref) of his ..........

[turboplanner]

.......hard earned cash to the banker. The bank manager smiled and turned to go, but Turbo said "Not so fast, we'd like you to try the new Turbine mulesing system........tha is if you want more business......."

What could he do but ................

[Captain]

40 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.......hard earned cash to the banker. The bank manager smiled and turned to go, but Turbo said "Not so fast, we'd like you to try the new Turbine mulesing system........tha is if you want more business......."

What could he do but ................

..... produce an unmulsed lamb out of his handbag, drag a fluffy rabbit out of his hat, and pull a hair out of his .....

Edited December 6, 2021 by Captain

[onetrack]

...arm, which he handed to Turbo. Which moves completely flummoxed Turbo, as he was all ready with the mulesing shears to nail the bank manager. But the bank manager was wised up to borrowers tricks, of which he'd seen many, and he was always one step ahead of the jokers.

So he rapidly departed the scene with the outstanding loan and interest problem solved, leaving Turbo holding the lamb, the rabbit - and a hair from the bank managers arm, which he could not figure out what he was going to do with it.

The lamb started bleating, and jumped out of Turbos arms, the rabbit took off down the hallway, and Turbo lost the bank managers hair in the melee. He was horrified, what was he........

 

Edited December 6, 2021 by onetrack

[turboplanner]

.....to do. With an evil grin he went online and took out a $30 million loan before the bank manager could get back; then he encouraged Trackbine to do the same, and .............................

[Captain]

8 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.....to do. With an evil grin he went online and took out a $30 million loan before the bank manager could get back; then he encouraged Trackbine to do the same, and .............................

....... not to be outdone, Trackbine borrowed $50 million (although those were crappy WA dollars, so totally dependent on the GST from the eastern sates when iron ore prices are down) and OT provided a personal guarantee for those funds, which is always a bit of a worry. Although Turbo's personal guarantees are .....