The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

The tower controller responded by routing all the heavy equipment over the aircraft which now looked like a .........

..... DG bunny, 14 days after being shot by that CT in the north paddock on taxiway G at his DG International Passenger & Freight Hub (see below drone photo). That bunny has really copped it as taxiway G is used by all of the 380's that come and go to whichever of the terminals they are designated to.

 

The squashed Jab meant that .....

 

 

NOTE THE NUMBER OF PEBBLES IN CT'S TAXIWAY MIX & I WILL BE

INTERESTED IN TURBO'S COMMENTS AS HE IS AN EXPERT IN SUCH THINGS.

Edited May 29, 2022 by Captain

[bull]

...............

8 hours ago, Captain said:

 

The squashed Jab meant that .

......for the next week or so there was many many landing incidences amongst our 380 brethen as tyre after tyre punctured from slivers of fiberglass and aircraft got stuck on runways all over the world, stopping international and local traffic to zero flights as the aircraft where removed and all that attended where grounded for inspections before they could be returned to service costing millions,this caused an international furore and a task force was established to find and procecute the errant jab pilot.  Now Border force was forced to get involved and they where soon seen to be readying for a raid on CT,s farm for some reason ?Well ,now thats one for the books said..............

Edited May 30, 2022 by bull

[bull]

BREAKING NEWS......The raid on CT,s farm produced nothing but a couple of unregistered ultralights ,but no jabiru,s and they now headed towards Cappy,s place of residence as the crashed jab was found to have been a 230 and Cappy was known to own one [according to RAA records leaked by a whistle blower]and it was seen to depart his home strip 20 minutes before the arrival of the errant 230. And now the Border force found on google earth his plane could not be seen anywhere on his strip and..........

[Captain]

48 minutes ago, bull said:

And now the Border force found on google earth his plane could not be seen anywhere on his strip and..........

.... that is the hidden story behind each 230, as once they lift off (avref) the neck breaking torque & pulse of those 6 fantastic cylinders means that they can speed in silent majesty, which is why J230s are known of the F117 of the ultralight world, & that dear friends has led to .......

 

 

A FLIGHT OF J230s ON THEIR WAY TO NATFLY WITH A

COUPLE OF F22s TRYING TO KEEP UP

 

Edited May 30, 2022 by Captain

[bull]

us having to be reminded of the subject at hand ,and that was a "crashed"230 and it was now suspected the order to continue flight operations over the 230 was to hide national secrets.  Now this was something Turbo was right into and soon had.................

[onetrack]

..... "Turbine Global Spies Inc" registered, run out of a ramshackle tin shack in the back streets of Mysore (formerly known as Mybumsore, but abbreviated for simplicity), with a mange-ridden and flea-bitten old dog for site security, and a 1970 model, ex-AMF AN/PRC 77 radio set as the global communications instrument, utilising a discarded local TV antenna secured to the top of a 6M length of galvanised pipe for extra range, and wired up to run on.........

 

Edited May 30, 2022 by onetrack

[bull]

electricity supplied by an old holden 186 driving an alternator, but as usual this was out of service ,so they had to resort to the backup pedal power set , now if you have ever seen the Turbine spies recruits you would know they are NOT in peak fitness so after the first ten minutes both CT and Turbines best spy cappy where heart attackcandidates : leaving no one to man the radio as both where passed out and................

Edited May 30, 2022 by bull

[Captain]

.... this also meant that the TGSI pie warmer was also out of action, which was a real .....

Edited May 30, 2022 by Captain

[bull]

.disaster as the pies from mysore where world renoun as the best pies in the country and to have cold mysore pies was akin to.....................

 

[turboplanner]

....eating Volga caviar.

Turbo was frced to step in and quickly cut down a few saplings and built an ox engine and after a quick raid on a nearby rice farm had a pair of water buffalo quietly walking around a circle making the wheels and belts turn, and generating more power than the Australian wind farms had managed to produce in 40 years,

 

The radio transmissions were coming in loud and clear; in fact a bit too loud because Mrs Gupta fron next door came in with a broom handle and said "I am having by afternoon slipping and you khave wokken me up immediately playing this ugly misic from the Bittles. I am velly velly angry" and proceeded to show it by belting Cappy across the left ear with the broomstick, getting bull in the nuts on the backswing.

They knew their international mission was too important to be interrupted because Putin had mobilised the Russian Air Force and WW3 was about to start unless Cappy could somehow ............................

[turboplanner]

19 hours ago, Captain said:

..... DG bunny, 14 days after being shot by that CT in the north paddock on taxiway G at his DG International Passenger & Freight Hub (see below drone photo). That bunny has really copped it as taxiway G is used by all of the 380's that come and go to whichever of the terminals they are designated to.

 

The squashed Jab meant that .....

 

 

NOTE THE NUMBER OF PEBBLES IN CT'S TAXIWAY MIX & I WILL BE

INTERESTED IN TURBO'S COMMENTS AS HE IS AN EXPERT IN SUCH THINGS.

Turbo respectfully reminds Cappy that use of the word PEBBLES is akin to calling a Zerhoff 3383 MK II a "Cessna", the word Taxiway forms no part of the description and is tacked on later by flying people much the same as people call themselves "mountain climbers" when referring to early Pleistocene uplift climbers. "Mix" is a disgusting term not used in the industry. This is known simply as 3383A which clearly defines it so we all know exactly how to replicate it. 

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

Turbo respectfully reminds Cappy that use of the word PEBBLES is akin to calling a Zerhoff 3383 MK II a "Cessna", the word Taxiway forms no part of the description and is tacked on later by flying people much the same as people call themselves "mountain climbers" when referring to early Pleistocene uplift climbers. "Mix" is a disgusting term not used in the industry. This is known simply as 3383A which clearly defines it so we all know exactly how to replicate it. 

And there, dear readers, encapsulated in those few wonderful lines, is the reason why Turdy is the international pavement expert that he is. Not one word wasted and a Billy Shakespeare sonet like quality to it too. I am in awe as usual.

Edited May 30, 2022 by Captain

[bull]

.but Bull  piped up and said ,,yeah your right old turdy is very good at being "low"[avref] to the ground and the many times he was knocked to the pavement in his younger days gave him excellent insite into the intricity of pavement construction and.............

[turboplanner]

............dog leavings, but he got up again, and took the difficult paths. Someone had to.

"and" said OT breathlessly ".....................

[onetrack]

.......did you know, there's a very good reason why that pavement construction team chose those exact pebbles? There's many a secret to top-quality pavement construction, but the biggest secret is in the pebble selection!

That pavement construction team were descendants of the legendary blokes who comprised 5ACS, who cut their teeth on constructing runway pavements all through Australia and the Pacific Islands in WW2! - and they beat the Japanese hands down, when it came to pavement construction materials!

You see, the Japanese effectively didn't know a pavement pebble from a Japanese Garden pebble! - and this was one of the major reasons why they lost the War! That, and the fact that the Zeroes couldn't handle.........

[Captain]

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

....... dog leavings .....

And there, dear readers, is another example of Turbo's command of the beautiful lingua franca of the multinational aviation (avref) world. Cappy is in awe yet again.

Edited May 31, 2022 by Captain

[Captain]

25 minutes ago, onetrack said:

.......

You see, the Japanese effectively didn't know a pavement pebble from a Japanese Garden pebble! - and this was one of the major reasons why they lost the War! That, and the fact that the Zeroes couldn't handle.........

.... 4 inch (turboref) boondies clattering off the tip of their props, which made their .....

Edited May 31, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

........airframes shudder, shaking the bombs out prematurely from the bomb racks.

"That always been my problem" said Nobushi "just about ready to drop bomb, and shake out all ......."

[bull]

...the shit from my pants and then realised i,m still on the ground with two 250lb bombs bouncing along beside me ,,now this made all my previous effort of cleaning out my pants a waste of time because the flow was........

Edited May 31, 2022 by bull

[Captain]

19 hours ago, bull said:

,now this made all my previous effort of cleaning out my pants a waste of time because the flow was........

........, as Turbo so graciously put it, forever after known as "Nob's leavings", which has now entered the Urban Language Dictionary (down in the streets where Turbo thrives, eh dude) and should not be confused with ......

 

PS ... Medical observation by Dr Cappy ....... If those are Nobu's leavings as shown in bull's above photo, those tail fins would have hurt coming out and would have had Nobu squinting even more, just say'n.

Edited June 1, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.....the splatter the dudes leave when Turbo pulls out his 357 Magnum. That’s become known as ‘acid rain”

and .......

[onetrack]

......it has nothing to do with the acid ingested by pop stars, and even less to do with normal rain - apart from the fact it falls from above. But there were other, more pressing problems Turbo had with carrying a .357 Magnum - the sheer weight of the weapon, even in a holster, made him walk funny - and the kickback from the recoil left him with shoulder problems, every time he fired it.

 

Then there was the problem that if he dispensed with the holster and simply carried it in his pocket, the more knowledgeable girls would become wide-eyed, and say, "Are you simply glad to see me, or is a that a S&W .357 in your pocket?". To which Turbo would reply. "I have this problem with........

[Captain]

2 hours ago, onetrack said:

To which Turbo would reply. "I have this problem with......

...... the front blade sight catching in my thong and scratching my ......

 

(It is well known in Vicmanistan society that since 1st trying them at the age of 15, Turbo has often had trouble working out which way around thongs are to be worn).

 

A FAMOUR PHOTO OF TURBO IN THE THONG AT ONE OF

THE PAINTERS & DOCKERS HOTELS IN THE PORT OF MELBOURNE

Edited June 1, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

...............Gucci wallet made of pigskin with ermine trim.

Turbo had bought a carton of embossed "B"s for back and sewed them on, but he coul never remember whether the B was for Bonzed Aussie Icon or back, so he had another box embossed "A".

This started his embossing period where he had the cars embossed with a C, the aircraft fleet with A, the houses H and so on and lived an orderly life until .................

 

Turbo wishes to point out that the person in the above photo of the Port Melbourne Ports and Dockers canteen photo (Respects to P&D past and present, particularly the ones resting in Port Phillip Bay is not him. Turbo would never identify anyone in a private P&D venue, but the hat belongs to Cappy.

[onetrack]

......the day he employed a dyslexic embosser. The dyslexic embosser scrambled all the letters in the assets embossing, until Turbo didn't know his A from his Z.

He thought he was losing it, as the orderliness went out the window. He had to do something to clear his mental confusion. This called for a blast in the Drifter to clear the confusion from his mind.

As someone else had previously noted, "I fly because it releases my mind from the tyranny of petty things". So Turbo climbed into the Drifter embossed "A1", and took off.

 

But the main problem that developed from then, was the dyslexic embosser had marked Turbo's Drifter as "Z1", and Turbo had taken someone elses Drifter, not his!

The owner of A1 arrived to find his Drifter missing, and all hell broke loose. An alert was put out to notify authorities to keep an eye open for Drifter A1, and to detain the offender who stole it, as soon as they were sighted landing in it.

 

Turbo arrived back at the airstrip and was extremely pleased to see a huge crowd gathered, obviously waiting for him. He thought to himself, "How nice it is, to see how popular I am, and how many people wish to gather, to greet me on my return!"

But as he got closer, his pleasure evaporated, as the appearance of some of the people on the ground was less than welcoming. In fact, it was only when Turbo saw the weapons being waved, that he........