The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

21 hours ago, turboplanner said:

"......compensation to our Elders past present and emerging, like Chuck Bubba Gubba, Mike Mallacoota and Leroy Mullawamullaga, and Auntie Joan."

 

"Where is this new weapon of war?" asked Anthony the Great.

"You're looking at it" said Guillaume MontMartre giving his men a worried look.

"It's capable of taking out 7 Russian tanks per hour" he said, and ............

..... I will now have Uncle Alan of the Moorabbin Nation's work avoidance division, undertake a smoking ceremony, as he still has a few unfiltered Craven A's left in his metal smoke box, and then tell all of the advantages of this fine weapon, which is not only a tank killer but is also certified (bull ref) to .......

[turboplanner]

.......but he was knocked over in that great Australian tradition of 7 smoking ceremonies a day, but only at work, and they knocked over Anthony too because he was a former defector from the Printers and Allied Trades Union and had left them, with dues owing, to take up a position as spin doctor for a prominent developer called Eddie About.

It was when announcing a new high density 50 story block of Apartments that the story got out that Anthony ............

 

[Captain]

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.......but he was knocked over in that great Australian tradition of 7 smoking ceremonies a day, but only at work, and they knocked over Anthony too because he was a former defector from the Printers and Allied Trades Union and had left them, with dues owing, to take up a position as spin doctor for a prominent developer called Eddie About.

It was when announcing a new high density 50 story block of Apartments that the story got out that Anthony ............

 

.... had issued an edict (in his case it is a dickdict) that all smoking ceremonies must take place only in prescribed locations outside high-rise office buildings, which was a bit of an issue in Moorabbin and WA, where the nearest high-rise was .....

[turboplanner]

5 minutes ago, Captain said:

.... had issued an edict (in his case it is a dickdict) that all smoking ceremonies must take place only in prescribed locations outside high-rise office buildings, which was a bit of an issue in Moorabbin and WA, where the nearest high-rise was .....

....usually a humpy outside the Noongar Line, (an imaginary line for an imaginary tribe).

Anthony wasn't up with this becaise he was from Sydney, but he had a plan to learn about Australia which was why he was spending so much time in the air gathering information from all round the world, but this led to a ...........

[Captain]

27 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

....usually a humpy outside the Noongar Line, (an imaginary line for an imaginary tribe).

Anthony wasn't up with this becaise he was from Sydney, but he had a plan to learn about Australia which was why he was spending so much time in the air gathering information from all round the world, but this led to a ...........

..... heated discussion at his local in Balmain, where his Labor party issued dinkum aussie acubra was banned and he had to wear a peru printed caftan and his usual dread-locks hairpiece, and there he spoke in depth about how he was just seated in row 304 (26 rows behind the dunny cleaner from Buck House) at Liz's funeral, but he was still pretty sure that he really was still important, because ...... 

Edited September 27, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......they asked him if English was spoken in Australia, and when he said yes, put him next to the Jamaicans. 

In the finish, Anthony said "XXXX the smoking ceremony, let's go my First Nations brothers, and 76 Jamaicans climbed on board the VIP aircraft bound for Australia with no Visas................................

 

[Captain]

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.......they asked him if English was spoken in Australia, and when he said yes, put him next to the Jamaicans. 

In the finish, Anthony said "XXXX the smoking ceremony, let's go my First Nations brothers, and 76 Jamaicans climbed on board the VIP aircraft bound for Australia with no Visas................................

 

..... but were charged excess baggage for all the wacky tobacky.

 

"Yeah Mon, stay cooool" said Anthony to the Customs official, as he put on his dreadlock wig and .......

 

ANTHONY IN HIS DREADLOCK RUG.

THE DESIGN ON HIS MELON SHOWS ALL THE ROUTES TAKEN ON HIS OVERSEAS TRIPS SINCE BECOMING PM.

Edited September 27, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.........stepped down to an adoring group of sixteen personal assistants all wanting documents signed.

"Such is fame" he thought.

Right in the way of his alligator shoes was a strut braced Drifter. [We should mention that Anthony is a former Minister for Aviation, where he single handedly let CASA out of the bottle].

He got in, ...............

[Captain]

18 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Right in the way of his alligator shoes was a strut braced Drifter. [We should mention that Anthony is a former Minister for Aviation, where he single handedly let CASA out of the bottle].

He got in ...........

......to a bit of a lather, because ......

[turboplanner]

......he'd only been shown once how to start the engine, and half the press of Canberra were there waiting at the Terminal (the other half were in the Senate Bar). After a few pokes and prods the Bluehead coughed into life, and now he really was in trouble because he'd forgotten which switch he used to turn it on, so he would have to put on a show as if he knew what he was doing.

It was Anthony who had been conned into thinking anyone could fly these machines without rules, without training, and without any experience. The AUF had done a wonderful job of smoke and mirrors in getting these very complicated contraptions into the air.

Suddenly he had the smoke after prodding the wrong lever and the Drifter gathered speed, flashing straight under the wing of a C17 - Airprox No 1 was headed from CASA to his mailbox already, and ..............

Edited September 27, 2022 by turboplanner

[Captain]

....... that made Anthony take the usual AUF certified counter measures (of using wrong rego numbers and erroneous calls).

 

He grabbed the 2-way and said "Hi Mon in da cool Can Berry area, dis is Bob Marly in da F22-1934 and I is about to get high" then he issued another radio call using his sweetest femaile voice (Anthony can sound sweeter than Julia [or even Kevin] ever did, when he is in that mood) "Hello chaps & chapettes around Canberra, this is the PM's blond female companion in ragwing 69-181 and I am about to fly my recreational vehicle prezzy over to The Lodge for the PM's birthday, (when I will also give him that other present that nobody knows how to wrap), so please have all of those naughty commercial passenger aircraft keep away until I can ............

Edited September 27, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

........but he was interrupted by  nosewheel at about head height and then a pair of mains haging down and he looked up to see a gloved finger pointing down from a Hornet.

Turbo's hd that a few times and reports that there is noting more chilling.

As Anthony pulled the throttle back and pointed the Drifter's nose at the ground he wondered who had dobbed him in, then realised it was .................

 

 

 

 

 

[Captain]

7 hours ago, turboplanner said:

........but he was interrupted by  nosewheel at about head height and then a pair of mains haging down and he looked up to see a gloved finger pointing down from a Hornet.

Turbo's hd that a few times and reports that there is noting more chilling.

As Anthony pulled the throttle back and pointed the Drifter's nose at the ground he wondered who had dobbed him in, then realised it was .................

..... Planey, who was against aerial (avref) shenanigans in general (he is even against discussing it in the "Great Fun but Highly Illegal" section of the Incidents & Accidents subsection of WF), but cavalier PM based flying high jinks really gets on Planey's goat (viz what Planey did to Ben Chifley, as reported by carrier pigeon, when Ben got carried away and did "it" in the back seat of that Gipsey Moth) , so Planey called CASA, the RAA, the AUF and the RAF, and as he has said so many times on Wreck Frying, "The sum of the .......

Edited September 28, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

...........hypotenuse is equal to two RA Instructors, whereas .....

[Captain]

..... the inverse ratio (which has nothing to do with the angle of the dangle) means that rag & tube aircraft (avref) often .....

[turboplanner]

........hypnotise themselves early in the flight, leaving.....

[bull]

10 hours ago, turboplanner said:

........hypnotise themselves early in the flight, leaving.....

...plenty of time for the crusty pilot to wake up and put.............

Edited September 29, 2022 by bull

[turboplanner]

....two and two together. Anthony sent a text to the the  Minister for Aviation to cancel Planey's AO, and gracefully landed the Drifter, which suprised everyone.

 

The press had got wind of his flight from a RAA snout, and descended on him as he got out.

 

He was ready for them though "We have a plan" he said and they all rushed around sending the news back to base. Albo had worked out long ago that if you just said the, no one queried it, and he'd just won an election by saying that every day and now he didn't have a clue what to do next; Big Petrol had resonded by sending prices through the roof, Big Finance had upped the interest rate, Big Lettuce had pushed the price up from $2/kg to $12/kg then some smart alec had sprayed all their crops withy roundup, and so it went on. Someone had to take over and sort it all out so ...................

[Captain]

........ he called in Jimmy "The Chalmer" Chalmers who followed long established Labor principals (sic) and said "Bugger low cost housing or solving the few thousand other issues, Albo's government is going to provide a Drifter, complete with a brand new unseized blue-head, to every member of the NDIS, to each of our 1st Nations brothers (and sisters), to everyone who is on the Childcare tit, and to all Seniors so that they can all .................          

[turboplanner]

"....enjoy the freedoms of flying without any rules or training."

This was immediately backed by caucus, the 35 faceless men, who since they were faceless didn't have the trouble of the elected peanuts who had to allow at least 50% women in whether they could read and write or not. "Snake" Chalmers as he was known within GetUp and the other Labor divisions had shown great expertise in squeezing out the Greens,  knew as well ans anyone else did that once they started flying those Drifters, the number of claimants would seamlessly drop to negligible figures, allowing the budget to be used for .........................

[onetrack]

.....its proper function of jobs for mates, politicians holiday jaunts disguised as "fact-finding" missions, purchases of defence items that are never delivered on time or on budget (and this includes huge payouts for cancelled contracts, thanks to change of Govts), and financing pet projects of every politician with access to the public purse, so that they can pork-barrel to their hearts content, with little to no oversight.

Included in these freed-up Budget funds, is more funding for a major enlargement of CASA, so they can take over RA-Aus, and introduce more rules and regulations, specifically aimed at the Govt-issued Drifters, all designed to ensure the Drifters were rarely flown, and that the new owners couldn't.........

 

Edited September 30, 2022 by onetrack

[turboplanner]

....do loops and stuff, or have fun.

But "Snake" had made one fatal slip - ................

[Captain]

15 hours ago, turboplanner said:

....do loops and stuff, or have fun.

But "Snake" had made one fatal slip - ................

...... which he had sewn with his mum's pedal operated Singer (that seemed appropriate to use when a Drifter was involved) and which he wore under his flying suit, and explained away by saying ..........

Edited September 30, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

"I only ever made one slip, har har har har har!" but no one ever got Snake's joke, no matter how hard he laughed. Some called him a XXXXX but others ust said he was gay, and it was pointed out that he couldn't fly a Drifter, which ........

[bull]

11 hours ago, turboplanner said:

"I only ever made one slip, har har har har har!" but no one ever got Snake's joke, no matter how hard he laughed. Some called him a XXXXX but others ust said he was gay, and it was pointed out that he couldn't fly a Drifter, which ........

a well known point of entertainment down at the strip,,the boys would gather and crack their stubbies and sit back and watch "snake" trying to land a drifter,,,he bounces so many times he can log in 10 landings and takeoffs in one landing!! Maybe we should..........