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Fun Time: Things you have wanted to say on the radio...but never will!!


Guest drizzt1978
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Guest drizzt1978

Some times I have a giggle at things i would like to say on the radio: But never will...

 

Give me your best examples:

 

Pilot: "Im 5x5 in the pipe and ready to rock and roll!"

 

Co pilot (passenger) "Roger that I'm pickin up a little Hull Ionisation....."

 

Straight out Aliens

 

Makes me giggle...

 

011_clap.gif.c796ec930025ef6b94efb6b089d30b16.gif011_clap.gif.8adfe837b4189ee6622bf4917d6a88c0.gif011_clap.gif.c796ec930025ef6b94efb6b089d30b16.gif011_clap.gif.8adfe837b4189ee6622bf4917d6a88c0.gif011_clap.gif.c796ec930025ef6b94efb6b089d30b16.gif011_clap.gif.8adfe837b4189ee6622bf4917d6a88c0.gif011_clap.gif.c796ec930025ef6b94efb6b089d30b16.gif011_clap.gif.8adfe837b4189ee6622bf4917d6a88c0.gif

 

 

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How about;

 

Tower; "Please report height and position?"

 

Pilot; "I'm 5 foot 10 and sitting up front!"

 

Actually, one I did hear back in my gliding days;

 

Someone out on a task in week lift radioed back to, "I don't think I'm going to make it."

 

Five minutes later he calls, "I cant find any lift."

 

Another five minutes and he calls, "I think I'm going down."

 

With other pilots trying to make calls about locations and os on, the contest director, A Woman grabbed a microphone and called back;

 

"Shut up and die like a man!" 011_clap.gif.c796ec930025ef6b94efb6b089d30b16.gif

 

True story, WA state comps, Cunderdin, about 1980.

 

Arthur.

 

 

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heard late one night in Nth Qld about ten years ago, from what must have been a freight runner.

 

Pilot "**** i'm bored!"

 

ATC "aircraft calling, say call sign"

 

Pilot" I'm not that bored"

 

 

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Guest pelorus32

On MEL Centre one day driving along enjoying the day when a very attractive sounding female voice comes up:

 

"Melbourne Centre, Virgin 658..."

 

I very nearly keyed in and said "I didn't think there were that many of you left"

 

 

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earlier liason.

 

I am reminded of the one where the poor pilot taxies incorrectly, and ends up facing another biggie and the female controller gives him hell and massively berates him. When she finishes, he quietly says, You're not my ex-wife are you, by any chance?... N..

 

 

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More...

 

There is a brand new Short Skyvan taxying out for a run to Albury. The conversation goes like this......

 

TWR. Callsign XYZ, What kind of aeroplane is that?

 

Proud new check captain...It's a Short skyvan..

 

TWR. Haven't you unpacked it yet?.... Nev..

 

 

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My favourite:

 

747 Captain to a small LSA aircraft (who was waiting for the 747 to exit the runway).

 

"That's a nice little aeroplane, (in a very condecending tone) did you make it yourself."

 

"Yes" replied the small craft, "I built it myself from old wrecks, another landing like your last and I'll have enough bits for two more!"

 

Love it.

 

regards

 

 

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Taxying out at Adelaide many years back in a single with a big bunch of heavies behind and we asked by ground to pull over to let them all take off.

 

A very American sounding voice said "Ah that's what it was! I thought it was a bug on the windshield!" After several had taken off, another rolled past and asked "Did the Mortein get ya?" 011_clap.gif.c796ec930025ef6b94efb6b089d30b16.gif011_clap.gif.8adfe837b4189ee6622bf4917d6a88c0.gif

 

 

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Heard of a bank type runner at a towered airport that used to always come in at night and say to the controller guess who-- one quite and dark night the controller answered -guess where and turned off the lights

 

Terry

 

 

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an oldie but a goodie

 

In the sixties a Pan Am 707 cpt just landed at Berlin and asked for clarification of taxiing instructions from the runway to the ramp. the controller gruffly asked if the pilot had been to Berlin before. The pilot responded with 'Yes, in 1944 but it was night and we did not stop'.

 

Ozzie

 

 

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Last Christmas morning my wife and I were tracking down the far south coast of the mainland on our way to Launceston. The air waves were dead quiet so I called ML CEN for a radio check ... "Melbourne, this is CTxxxx. Radio check". "You're all 5s" came the reply. "That's good, I was getting a bit anxious as I could hear none of the usual chatter." to which he replied "Yeah, sound good doesn't it, Merry Christmas".

 

Paul

 

 

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I was working in Ireland earlier this year as a coordinator in the back of a Dash8 doing Survey Ops out of Galway airport. Galway airport has several "Tea Breaks" during their day which closes the airport down for about an hour 3 times a day. I was conversing with the pilots about our fuel loading and the remaining time on task we'd have - they said about 2 hours which would take us past the closing time on the NOTAM. Though experience showed these closing times followed the appetite of the Controller, and not the NOTAM. So the 1st Officer radioed in for a clarification on the closing time. The nice Irish Controller had advised they'll close in about and hour. The FO radioed again to confirm the re-opening time. There was a bit of dead air then "Oh we might not open again tonight - bit tired." There led a stunned silence from me as a rookie Coordinator, then a quite shaky word to the pilots over the intercom - "Perhaps we'd better go home then." Time passed a bit and then across the radio "Nah, we'll come back for ya." The Controller had us (more specifically - had me), the pilots gave a good chuckle as i looked a little sheepish down the back. I never thought that ATC could have a sense of humour.

 

Mind you - this was the same controller that was trying to sell us his daughter a couple of days later. The Irish were a fun lot to work with.

 

 

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Guest pecram air

Hmmm

 

I have always wanted to slotted in No 2 to an RPT so I could say " yes I have the fockker insight" It hasnt happened yet

 

 

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I have always wanted to slotted in No 2 to an RPT so I could say " yes I have the fockker insight" It hasnt happened yet

I had the pleasure of spending too much time operating out of Karratha Airport. A daily visitor there was a Fokker 100 with rego VH-FKD. Which we dubbed the obvious. Later that deployment i got the even greater pleasure of travelling hom on said Fokker. I sent one of my matesi was working with a SMS with exciting news which he replied "Fokking Fantastic." My giggles were a source of amusement for fellow pax at the gate.

 

 

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In the early 1980's, groups of Japanese glider pilots were regularly operating out of Waikerie.

 

When a bunch of them were airborne, it was impossible to get a word in edgewise on the glider frequencies as they just went on and on non stop.

 

One of our guys flying out of Horsham was getting really frustrated as he tried to contact a couple of other gliders.

 

Finally, when a gap appeared in the non stop stream of japanese verbiage he used the only two japanese words he knew;

 

HIROSHIMA, NAGASAKI !!

 

Dead silence from the japanese for the next half hour or so.

 

 

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Guest Maj Millard

The Shorts were commonly referred to as "Sheds" , no prizes for guessing why !. Spotted on a maintenance sheet once from a 'Shed ' at Townsville NQ.

 

Cabin crew: Large black rat noticed in foward Galley.

 

Response from Maintenance: Hangar cat locked in aircraft overnight, awaiting results.! 024_cool.gif.7a88a3168ebd868f5549631161e2b369.gif

 

 

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On the recorded ATIS (Terminal Information Service) at Townsville some years back, after giving the runway, wind, QNH etc, the conclusion ran as follows..."on first contact with Approach notify receipt of Information Alpha and say Happy Birthday Christine." And everybody did..

 

 

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How about the Luftansa pilot who was on the ground (in Berlin) talking to the control tower (on the radio) complaining bitterly that as he was a German pilot, in a German aircraft at a German airport talking to a German in a German control tower, why did they have to use english. Their conversation was interupted by another pilot with a very posh British accent who said..

 

"Because you lost the bloody war, dear boy" 006_laugh.gif.0f7b82c13a0ec29502c5fb56c616f069.gif006_laugh.gif.d4257c62d3c07cda468378b239946970.gif006_laugh.gif.0f7b82c13a0ec29502c5fb56c616f069.gif006_laugh.gif.d4257c62d3c07cda468378b239946970.gif

 

Classic

 

regards

 

:big_grin::big_grin:

 

 

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How about the Luftansa pilot who was on the ground (in Berlin) talking to the control tower (on the radio) complaining bitterly that as he was a German pilot, in a German aircraft at a German airport talking to a German in a German control tower, why did they have to use english. Their conversation was interupted by another pilot with a very posh British accent who said.."Because you lost the bloody war, dear boy" 006_laugh.gif.0f7b82c13a0ec29502c5fb56c616f069.gif006_laugh.gif.d4257c62d3c07cda468378b239946970.gif006_laugh.gif.0f7b82c13a0ec29502c5fb56c616f069.gif006_laugh.gif.d4257c62d3c07cda468378b239946970.gif

 

Classic

 

regards

 

:big_grin::big_grin:

Hey you thief....:hittinghead: I was just coming to type that in... an you already done it...036_faint.gif.544c913aae3989c0f13fd9d3b82e4e2c.gif

 

102_wasnt_me.gif.b4992218d6a9d117d3ea68a818d37d57.gif

 

 

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