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Round Engines

Guest thrasher

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Guest thrasher

Death to the turbines!


We gotta get rid of these turbines, they are ruining aviation.


We need to go back to big round engines.


Anybody can start a turbine, you just need to move a switch from"OFF" to "START," and then remember to move it back to "ON" after


a while.


My PC is harder to start.


Cranking a round engine requires skill, finesse and style. On some planes, the pilots aren't even allowed to do it.


Turbines start by whining for a while, then give a small lady-like poot and start whining louder.


Round engines give a satisfying rattle-rattle, click-click, BANG, more rattles, another BANG, a big macho fart or two, more clicks, a lot of smoke and finally a serious low pitched




We like that. It's a blokey thing.


When you start a round engine, your mind is engaged and you can concentrate on the flight ahead. Starting a turbine is like flicking on a ceiling fan: Useful, but hardly exciting.


Turbines don't break often enough, leading to aircrew boredom,complacency and inattention.


A round engine at speed looks and sounds like it's going to blow at any minute.


This helps concentrate the mind.


Turbines don't have enough control levers to keep a pilot's attention. There's nothing to fiddle with during long flights.


Turbines smell like a Boy Scout camp full of Coleman lanterns.


Round engined planes smell like God intended flying machines to smell.


I think I hear the nurse coming down the hall. I gotta go.



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Very good and true, but the author clearly has never started a Garrett TPE series turbine, there a bit like setting a bear trap, it takes delicate finger work and concentration and when it goes wrong it'll happen like flam'in lightening and cost you an arm and a leg.



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