Cops

[Bigglesworth]

>Question: How do you tell the difference between a New Zealand Police

 

> Officer, An Australian Police Officer and an American Police Officer?

 

>

 

> Answer: Pose the following question:

 

> "You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small

 

> children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes

 

> around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the

 

> knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert

 

> shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

 

> What do you do?"

 

>

 

> NZ POLICE OFFICER'S answer:

 

>

 

> Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!

 

>

 

> Does the man look poor or oppressed?

 

>

 

> Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

 

>

 

> Could we run away?

 

>

 

> What does my wife think?

 

>

 

> What about the kids?

 

>

 

> Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of

 

> his hand?

 

>

 

> What does the law say about this situation?

 

>

 

> Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it, am I using it in

 

> an OSH approved fashion?

 

>

 

> Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does

 

> this send to society and to my children?

 

>

 

> Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

 

>

 

> Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to

 

> wound me?

 

>

 

> If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while

 

> he was stabbing me?

 

>

 

> Should I call 1-1-1, would they just send me a taxi?

 

>

 

> Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint

 

> and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would

 

> discourage such behaviour

 

>

 

> If I raise my gun and he turns and runs away, Do I get blamed when he

 

> falls over running away, knocks his head and kills himself?

 

>

 

> Will the NZ taxpayer foot the bill for his ACC claim if I injure him?

 

>

 

> If I shoot him, and lose the court case, does he have the opportunity

 

> to sue me, cost me my job, my credibility and I will lose my family

 

> home?

 

>

 

> Am I being culturally sensitive to the attacker if I shoot him, will I

 

> be offending his mana if I wound or kill him?

 

>

 

> Will I have to defend myself in court as a racist if I shoot him?

 

>

 

>

 

>

 

> AUSTRALIAN POLICE OFFICER'S answer:

 

>

 

>

 

> BANG!

 

>

 

>

 

>

 

> AMERICAN OFFICER'S answer:

 

>

 

> BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

 

> BANG! BANG!

 

>

 

> Click....(sounds of reloading)

 

>

 

> BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

 

> BANG! BANG!

 

>

 

> Click.

 

>

 

> Daughter: "Nice grouping, Dad! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips?"