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Famous Sayings

Guest thrasher

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Guest thrasher

Famous Sayings


Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself ~~"Lillian, you should have remained a virgin."


-- Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)


I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: "No good in a bed, but fine against a wall."


-- Eleanor Roosevelt


Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.


-- Mark Twain


The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.


-- George Burns


Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.


-- Victor Borge


Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.


-- Mark Twain


By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.


-- Socrates


I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.


-- Groucho Marx


Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.


-- Alex Levine


I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.


-- Bob Hope


I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.


-- W.C. Fields


We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.


-- Will Rogers


Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.


-- Winston Churchill


Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.


-- Phyllis Diller


By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.


-- Billy Crystal


The cardiologist's diet: If it tastes good, spit it out.



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