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Outback Techno Terminology


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Australia Computer Terminology - Getting ready for Broadband in the bush!!


LOGON: Adding wood to make the barbie hotter


LOG OFF: Not adding any more wood to the barbie.


MONITOR: Keeping an eye on the barbie.


DOWNLOAD: Getting the firewood off the ute.


HARD DRIVE: Making the trip back home without any cold tinnies.


KEYBOARD: Where you hang the ute keys.


WINDOWS: What you shut when the weather's cold.


SCREEN: What you shut in the mozzie season..


BYTE: What mozzies do


MEGABYTE: What Townsville mozzies do.


CHIP: A pub snack.


MICROCHIP: What's left in the bag after you've eaten the chips.


MODEM: What you did to the lawns.


LAPTOP: Where the cat sleeps.


SOFTWARE: Plastic knives and forks you get at Red Rooster.


HARDWARE: Stainless steel knives and forks - from K-Mart.




MOUSE: The small rodent that eats the grain in the shed.


MAINFRAME: What holds the shed up.


WEB: What spiders make.


WEBSITE: Usually in the shed or under the veranda.


SEARCH ENGINE: What you do when the ute won't go.


CURSOR: What you say when the ute won't go.


YAHOO: What you say when the ute does go.




UPGRADE: A steep hill.


SERVER: The person at the pub who brings out the counter lunch.


MAIL SERVER: The bloke at the pub who brings out the counter lunch.


USER: The neighbour who keeps borrowing things.




NETWORK:What you do when you need to repair the fishing net.




INTERNET: Where you want the fish to go.


NETSCAPE: What the fish do when they discover a hole in the net.




ONLINE: Where you hang the washing.




OFFLINE: Where the washing ends up when the pegs aren't strong enough.



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