Outback Techno Terminology

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Australia Computer Terminology - Getting ready for Broadband in the bush!!

 

LOGON: Adding wood to make the barbie hotter

 

LOG OFF: Not adding any more wood to the barbie.

 

MONITOR: Keeping an eye on the barbie.

 

DOWNLOAD: Getting the firewood off the ute.

 

HARD DRIVE: Making the trip back home without any cold tinnies.

 

KEYBOARD: Where you hang the ute keys.

 

WINDOWS: What you shut when the weather's cold.

 

SCREEN: What you shut in the mozzie season..

 

BYTE: What mozzies do

 

MEGABYTE: What Townsville mozzies do.

 

CHIP: A pub snack.

 

MICROCHIP: What's left in the bag after you've eaten the chips.

 

MODEM: What you did to the lawns.

 

LAPTOP: Where the cat sleeps.

 

SOFTWARE: Plastic knives and forks you get at Red Rooster.

 

HARDWARE: Stainless steel knives and forks - from K-Mart.

 

 

 

MOUSE: The small rodent that eats the grain in the shed.

 

MAINFRAME: What holds the shed up.

 

WEB: What spiders make.

 

WEBSITE: Usually in the shed or under the veranda.

 

SEARCH ENGINE: What you do when the ute won't go.

 

CURSOR: What you say when the ute won't go.

 

YAHOO: What you say when the ute does go.

 

 

 

UPGRADE: A steep hill.

 

SERVER: The person at the pub who brings out the counter lunch.

 

MAIL SERVER: The bloke at the pub who brings out the counter lunch.

 

USER: The neighbour who keeps borrowing things.

 

 

 

NETWORK:What you do when you need to repair the fishing net.

 

 

 

INTERNET: Where you want the fish to go.

 

NETSCAPE: What the fish do when they discover a hole in the net.

 

 

 

ONLINE: Where you hang the washing.

 

 

 

OFFLINE: Where the washing ends up when the pegs aren't strong enough.