Good for a Laugh

[kgwilson]

Condoms don't guarantee safe sex! A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot dead by the woman's husband!

 

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A government survey has shown that 91% of illegal immigrants come to Britain so that they can see their own doctor.

 

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Due to the current economic crisis, Greece is cancelling all production of humus and Taramasalata. It's a double dip recession.

 

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A dwarf goes to a very good but very busy doctor and asks "I know you are busy but do you treat dwarves?"

 

The doctor replies "Yes, but you will have to be a little patient".

 

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In hindsight I should have posted my Facebook status as: "I've blown the head gasket on my 1997 XR3i" rather than "I've just buggered a 14 year old escort".

 

The police still haven't seen the funny side, my lap top's been

 

confiscated, and the wife has gone off to her mum's.----------------------------------------

 

63 Pakistanis died in Bradford this morning.

 

It was not a terrorist attack, a bunk bed collapsed..

 

The police are blaming AL IKEA .

 

 

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~Jonathan Ross has been accused

 

of allegedly shoplifting a kitchen utensil from Tesco.

 

Ross says it was a whisk he was prepared to take.

 

 

 

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Police stop a Pakistani in his transit on the motorway. Policeman says "Do you know the limit is 70?" The driver leans into the back and says: "Hear that - 3 of you have got to get out!"

 

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Paddy & Mick stagger out of the zoo

 

with blood pouring from them..

 

"Bugger that" said Paddy

 

"That's the last time I go lion dancing"

 

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