A CASA Christmas

[rgmwa]

(A Christmas poem for Aussie Pilots and those CASA members with a sense of humour)

 

'twas the week before Christmas and CASA was about. They'd heard through the grapevine of a jolly fat lout. So they sent off a letter to the North Pole, with a Notice of Infringement for the Merry Old Soul...

 

"Your approval to fly will soon be removed if our constant frustrations aren't adequately soothed,

 

You have no registration, your reindeer no marks, they release methane and your sled may cause sparks,

 

You carry no transponder, no ADSB, and no instruments for night flying. How can that be!

 

 

 

So many deliveries while maintaining low height. Below 250 knots is the rule - Yeah right!

 

 

 

You drink while you're flying, and it's obvious too - your flying is erratic! What can we do?

 

And where are the certificates - GRN, STC? Your country of origin is not recognised by me!

 

No AOC and No C of A, no maintenance release, and no SMS. In fact, no manuals!

 

And on top that, the no trace can be found of Medical Annuals!

 

So with those cold, hard facts, old Mr Claus, we present to you a Notice - Show Cause!

 

 

 

Provide your response, before Christmas Night, or we'll cancel your licence - with great delight!"

 

The old man was red, and not just his skin, But he stopped for a moment, and then smiled a grin,

 

He penned his response, with adequate style, and with every word a growing smile,

 

" Mr CASA you have it all wrong, for you see,

 

None of your rules apply to me.

 

I am not a fixed wing, nor hot air balloon,

 

I am not a rocket designed for the moon,

 

I am not a glider, I am not an airship,

 

I fly on pure magic with the crack of a whip!

 

 

 

So quote me your rules as much as you might,

 

But I will ignore them on Christmas night!

 

And you will do nothing but sob in your dinner,

 

For with regulatory change, you are no winner,

 

I know you mean good, your heart means well,

 

But my `Show Cause' says, GO TO HELL!!

 

 

 

Despite all this, I will leave you a present,

 

But I'm afraid, it may not be pleasant,

 

Next year you get audited, it will be lots of fun,

 

Coz' I'm providing the pineapples, you son of a gun!

 

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

 

anon.