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Threat Levels

Guest thrasher

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Guest thrasher

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist


threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to


"Peeved". Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to


"Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross". Londoners have not been "A Bit


Cross" since the blitz began in 1940 and tea supplies all but ran


out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody


Nuisance". The last time the British issued "A Bloody Nuisance"


warning level was during the great fire of 1666.


Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised


its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher


levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was


precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag


factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.


It's not only the English and French who are on a heightened level of


alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and


excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain:


"Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."


The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful


Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also


have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose".


Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the


only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.


The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to


deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new


Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.



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The Yanks are wondering who is left in the World who can be blamed and who they can con into going to war with the blamed.


Did I hear you say blame New Zealand.



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Did you you know that in the month after 9/11 a large number of Americans decided that it was safer to drive than fly. As a result, there were an additional 1500 people killed on the roads.


Who said flying was dangerous?





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