Kenny the Rooster

[PA.]

This farmer has about 500 hens, but no rooster, and he wants chicks badly. So, he goes down the road to the next farm and asks if they have a rooster that they would sell.

 

The other farmer says, 'Yes, I've got this great rooster, named Kenny. He'll service every chicken you've got, no problem.' Trouble is, Kenny the rooster costs $3,000, a lot of money, but the Farmer decides he'd be worth it. So, he buys Kenny.

 

The farmer takes Kenny home and sets him down in the barnyard, but first he gave the rooster a pep talk. 'I want you to pace yourself now. You've got a lot of chickens to service here, and you cost me a lot of money. Consequently, I'll need you to do a good job. So, take your time and have some fun,' the farmer said, with a chuckle.

 

Kenny seems to understand, so the farmer points toward the hen house and Kenny takes off like a shot. WHAM! Kenny nails every hen in the hen house - three or four times, and the farmer is really shocked.

 

After that, the farmer hears a commotion in the duck pen and, sure enough, Kenny is in there.

 

Later, the farmer sees Kenny after a flock of geese down by the lake. Once again - WHAM! - All the geese get it.

 

By sunset he sees Kenny out in the fields chasing quail and pheasants. The farmer is distraught and worried that his expensive rooster won't even last the night. Sure enough, the farmer goes to bed and wakes up the next morning to find Kenny on his back out in the middle of the yard, mouth open, tongue hanging out and both feet sticking straight up in the air with Buzzards circling overhead.

 

The farmer, saddened by the loss of such a colourful and expensive animal, shakes his head and says, 'Oh, Kenny, I told you to pace yourself. I tried to get you to slow down, now look what you've done to yourself.'

 

Kenny slowly opens one eye, nods toward the buzzards circling in the sky above and says,

 

'Shut it, you're scarin the fanny away.

 

 

[PA.]

Later the chicken farmer went to a local bar.... Sat next to a woman and ordered a glass of champagne..

 

The woman perks up and says, 'How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!'

 

'What a coincidence' the farmer says. 'This is a special day for me.... I'm celebrating'

 

'This is a special day for me too, I'm also celebrating!' says the woman.

 

'What a coincidence!' says the farmer! As they clinked glasses the man asked, 'What are you celebrating?'...

 

'My husband and I have been trying to have a child and today my gynecologist told me that I am pregnant!'

 

'What a coincidence,' says the man. 'I'm a chicken farmer and for years all of my hens were infertile, but today they are all laying fertilized eggs.'

 

'That's great!' says the woman. 'How did your chickens become fertile?'

 

'I used a new rooster,' he replied.

 

The woman smiled and said, 'What a coincidence.'

 

 

[skeptic36]

Then a farmer down the road needs a new Rooster to watch after his hens because his current one is getting pretty old, so the chicken farmer loans Kenny to the farmer down the road

 

So Kenny struts around the yard, meets all the young hens, and runs into the old rooster.

 

Kenny says "Get outta here old man, I'm the new man round here, so go retire!"

 

The old rooster says "I'll let you have all the hens if you can beat me in a race around the barn. Now I'm old, I got a bad ticker and I scare easily, so you gotta gimme a head start.

 

Kenny agrees, and after he gives the old rooster a head start decided he can take care of the old rooster by scaring him as they race, so he chases after the old rooster squaking and flapping his wings.

 

The farmer sees this from the porch, gets out his shotgun and blows Kenny away, yelling

 

"GAWDAMMIT! That's the third gay rooster I got this damn week!"

 

 

[Bryon]

some of these jokes are fowl.....