IF airlines sold paint

[motzartmerv]

Customer: Hi, how much is your paint?

 

Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends.

 

Customer: Depends on what?

 

Clerk: Actually a lot of things.

 

Customer: How about giving me an average price?

 

Clerk: Wow, that's too hard a question. The lowest price is $9 a

 

gallon, and we have 150 different prices up to $200 a gallon.

 

Customer: What's the difference in the paint?

 

Clerk: Oh, there isn't any difference; it's all the same paint.

 

Customer: Well, then, I'd like some of that $9 paint.

 

Clerk: Well, first I need to ask you a few questions. W hen do you

 

intend to use it?

 

Customer: I want to paint tomorrow, on my day off.

 

Clerk: Sir, the paint for tomorrow is the $200 paint.

 

Customer: What? When would I have to paint in order to get the $9

 

version?

 

Clerk: That would be in three weeks, but you will also have to agree

 

to start painting before Friday of that week and continue painting

 

until at least Sunday.

 

Customer: You've got to be kidding!

 

Clerk: Sir, we don't kid around here. Of course, I'll have to check

 

to see if we have any of that paint available before I can sell it to

 

you.

 

Customer: What do you mean check to see if you can sell it to me? You

 

have shelves full of that stuff; I can see it right there.

 

Clerk: Just because you can see it doesn't mean that we have it. It

 

may be the same paint, but we sell only a certain number of gallons on

 

any given week. Oh, and by the way, the price just went to $12.

 

Customer: You mean the price went up while we were talking?

 

Clerk: Yes, sir. You see, we change prices and rules thousands of

 

times a day, and since you haven't actually walked out of the store

 

with your paint yet, we just decided to change. Unless you want the

 

same thing to happen again, I would suggest that you get on with your

 

purchase. How many gallons do you want?

 

Customer: I don't know exactly. Maybe five gallons. Maybe I should

 

buy six gallons just to make sure I have enough.

 

Clerk: Oh, no, sir, you can't do that. If you buy the paint and then

 

don't use it, you will be liable for penalties and possible

 

confiscation of the paint you already have.

 

Customer: What?

 

Clerk: That's right. We can sell you enough paint to do your

 

kitchen, bathroom, hall, and north bedroom, but if you stop painting

 

before you do the bedroom, you will violation of our tariffs.

 

Customer: But what does it mater to your whether I use all the paint?

 

I already paid for it!

 

Clerk: Sir, there's no point in getting upset; that's just the way it

 

is. We make plans upon the idea that you will use all the paint, and

 

when you don't, it just causes us all kinds of problems.

 

Customer: This is crazy! I suppose something terrible will happen if

 

I don't keep painting until after Saturday night!

 

Clerk: Yes, sir, it will.

 

Customer: Well, that does it! I'm going somewhere else to buy my

 

paint.

 

Clerk: That won't do you any good, sir. We all have the same rules.

 

 

[Flyer]

If that wasn't sooooooo true I'd fall over laughing ;) Oh, what the hell, hadn't finished typing so I changed my mind

 

regards

 

Phil

 

 

[sixtiesrelic]

Sounds like thart former Government Department that thinks it runs as a business doesn't it.

 

 

[Ben Longden]

Also sounds like the local petrol cartel....

 

Ben