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Inflight Shock


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Shortly after a British Airways flight had reached its cruising altitude, the captain announced:


'Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain.


Welcome to Flight 293, non-stop from London Heathrow to Toronto. The weather ahead is good, so we should have a smooth, uneventful flight. So sit back,relax and..... OH, MY GOD !'


Silence followed!


Some moments later the captain came back on the intercom.


'Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry if I scared you. While I was talking to you, a flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!'


One Irish passenger yelled,'be jezus you should see the back of mine!' 068_angry.gif.cc43c1d4bb0cee77bfbafb87fd434239.gif



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A ringer from a huge cattle station in outback Australia appeared before Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates.







Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St Peter asked.







Well, I can think of one thing," the ringer offered. "Once, on a trip to the backblocks of Broken Hill out in New South Wales, I came across a gang of bikies, who were threatening a young sheila. I told them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So, I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed bikie and smacked him in his face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground.




I yelled, "Now, back off!! Or I'll kick the sh*t out of the lot of ya's!"




St Peter was impressed, "When did this happen?"




Just a couple minutes ago..."







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