This is seriously true.
Walking through a major Australian airport domestic security screening several years ago. I'm in full uniform, hat, ASIC, and everything, flying kangaroos adorning various bits of uniform accoutrement as always. Security guy at the other side of the xray machine says "sir we need you to open your bag".
I say "sure, but may I ask what for?"
"Yes sir, it looks like you have an umbrella-like object in there".
"Yeah that would be my umbrella. It has resided in the same compartment in my bag for over 10 years now"
"Well we need you to take it out so we can inspect it sir"
(Rolling my eyes) "No problem - what are you looking for?"
"Well sir, it could be used to hide something which might allow you access to the cockpit."
"Seriously?"
"Yes sir. I'll just open it up and make sure there's nothing there which could be used to get into the cockpit."
"Right.....we wouldn't want that now would we?"
"No sir, we wouldn't. OK, you're all clear now."
"Thanks mate I'll be off then.......oh and just one more question"
"Yes sir?"
"Where exactly is it that you think I'm going now, and do you think I'm in fancy dress?"
Blank look followed. I just left, shaking my head. Similar scenarios have been repeated numerous times, yet not once, ever, has anyone in an Australian airport ever checked my ASIC card/ID to see that I am actually who I say I am. They'll delay us at security to check our umbrellas, and shampoo bottles, and toothpaste tubes, but never our ID.