PA.

If you want to know what life will be like in 20 years, sleep with her mother.

Well that's embarrassing. MH404

Hi, The lawyer says: "I have good news and bad news."

The CEO replies: "I've had an awful day, let's hear the good news first."

The lawyer says: "Your wife invested $20,000 in five pictures that are worth a minimum of $2 million."

CEO replies enthusiastically: "Well done, that is very good news indeed! You've made my day; now what is the bad news?"

The lawyer answers: "They are pictures of you in bed with your secretary."

They complain about the costs but don't they know it's cheaper by the dozen.

The Shahin family who own the On The Run service stations and a number of other groups which purchased the Tailem Bend Motorsport Park in 2013 have announced their plans for the venue. Included are a 2 km air strip which will also be used for V max car runs..

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Link to site works PDF.

For my fellow racing enthusiasts I have attached the four road racing tracks.

Google Maps link.

[/url]GT Circuit 20-1.pdf

National Circuit 20-1.pdf

East Circuit 20-1.pdf

West Circuit 20-1.pdf

GT Circuit 20-1.pdf

National Circuit 20-1.pdf

East Circuit 20-1.pdf

West Circuit 20-1.pdf

GT Circuit 20-1.pdf

National Circuit 20-1.pdf

East Circuit 20-1.pdf

West Circuit 20-1.pdf

This is why all Airbus planes should be equipped with fluffy dice hanging from the rear view mirror.

A circus owner runs an advert for a ‘lion tamer wanted’ and two people show up. One is a retired golfer in his late-sixties and the other is a drop-dead, gorgeous brunette with a killer body in her mid-twenties. The circus owner tells them, "I'm not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer so you two had better be good or you're history." "Here's your equipment -- a chair, a whip and a gun.

Who wants to try out first?" The gorgeous brunette says, "I'll go first."

She walks past the chair, the whip and the gun and steps right into the lion's cage.

The lion starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her.

As he gets close, the gorgeous brunette throws open her coat revealing her beautiful, perfect naked body.

The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her and starts licking her feet and ankles.

He continues to lick and kiss every inch of her body for several minutes, then lays down and rests his head at her feet.

The circus owner's jaw is on the floor!!

He says, "That's amazing! I've never seen anything like that in my life!"

He then turns to the retired golfer and asks, "Can you top that?"

The tough old golfer replies, "Possibly...but you've got to get that lion out of there first."

Tiniest minority ever: golfers who take the train

Spectating at a car rally one day when the first car comes around the corner and everyone gets covered in dust. My brother says quick everyone blow. Someone replied what good would that do? He replied, "It will dampen down the dust."

If they touch they are too close, if they don't touch they aren't close enough.

2. On the gate at the railway station entrance:

Keep well back from the railway platform edge or you may get sucked off.

I also noticed his name on the BASE jump fatality listing a coupe of years back.

Customer satisfaction guaranteed bex? . If she tells all her friends and one is your wife, it's a problem. Nev

6th of September is a nice date.

Surely you cannot claim to be the suppository of all knowledge? Nev

Stick a car in a boat then hang it under a Connie.

Make a good ‘T shirt’ that P.A. – way better than ‘trainee gynaecologist’

That's a bloody wide 2 seater.

As long as it does not run Ruff, said the dog.

I told him to duck off.

How to pick up chicks.

Big chicks, bend your knees.

I have been sent the attached drawings as a task that must be completed by Tuesday evening.

http://www.trialsport.com.au/ae/xmas-for-engineers-1.pdf

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.

Stoney was in Auto Action. I couldn't post his version here.

Different Jones boy.

A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich.

The barman looks at him and says,

"Hang on! You're a duck."

"I see your eyes are working,"... replies the duck.

"And you can talk!" Exclaims the barman.

"I see your ears are working, too," Says the duck. "Now if you don't mind, can I have my beer and my sandwich please?"

"Certainly, sorry about that," Says the barman as he pulls the duck's pint.

"It's just we don't get many ducks in this pub.. What are you doing round this way?"

"I'm working on the building site across the road," Explains the duck. "I'm a plasterer."

The flabbergasted barman cannot believe the duck and wants to learn more, but takes the hint when the duck pulls out a newspaper from his bag and proceeds to read it.

So, the duck reads his paper, drinks his beer, eats his sandwich, bids the barman good day and leaves.

The same thing happens for two weeks.

Then one day the circus comes to town.

The ringmaster comes into the pub for a pint and the barman says to him

"You're with the circus, aren't you? Well, I know this duck that could be just brilliant in your circus. He talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the newspaper and everything!"

"Sounds marvelous,"says the ringmaster, handing over his business card. "Get him to give me a call."

So the next day when the duck comes into the pub the barman says," Hey Mr Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good money."

"I'm always looking for the next job," Says the duck "Where is it?"

"At the circus," Says the barman.

"The circus?" Repeats the duck.

"That's right," Replies the barman.

"The circus?" The duck asks again.

"with the big tent?"

"Yeah," the barman replies.

"With all the animals who live in cages, and performers who live in caravans?" says the duck.

"Of course," the barman replies.

"And the tent has canvas sides and a big canvas roof with a hole in the middle?" persists the duck.

"That's right!" says the barman.

The duck shakes his head in amazement, and says .. .

"What the f**k would they want with a plasterer??!"

They are lucky .. It takes a lot more to excite me.. Just blow in my ear and I will follow you anywhere. Nev