Bryon

....re-enacted his gleat fright from Cowla to Woggle Woggle to escape the evil crutches of ..........

to rid the world of those rotating thrashing flying machine thingies because the ejection seat only has a single use warranty and the insurance coverage that our illustrious leaders have negotiated only covers......

...Upper Qumbuckta West SES Search and Rescue Squad who had been trying to locate Eeen for months after his magnificent escape from the claws ("Craws, not craws" said Nobu) of infamy brought on by his brush with the leadership over a small matter of membership, "I didnt know he flew a ...............

....he inadvertantly lowered his undercarriage and exposed his oleo "Bloody hell' said Mavis "how did it ever get like that?" "Well" said MM, "It happened when.........

....realised the muscles in my right arm were bigger than the muscles in my left arm (not that there is anything wrong with that eh Loxy? wink wink nudge nudge) "You should nominate for ElPrezidente" said Elratpoo, "You appear to have all the right attributes for such a position, and I know you will.....

Curse you Elratpoo, your nimble paws have done it again.......

....his subtool plan to entice Mavis into his Batwing lined redwine den of iniquity had been thwarted by that dastardly fellow Turbz "Revenge shall be mine!!!" he shouted at the sky (avref) as he quickly loaded up the den and pointed it south towards Bangerhome where he knew that.........

....give a Rats ahhh.....Lox, good to see you here mate, now we can grab hold of that insurgent Isaaacs boobles and give him a ..................

Why?

....on Elprezidentes shoulders and show me the real ones you got off........

...pretend to be a drowned rat in order to get my ................

..... and again .....

MEDICAL UPDATE Remember this the next time you have major surgery and need a blood transfusion!! This is good to know!! Australian Medical Association researchers have found that patients needing blood transfusions may benefit from receiving chicken blood rather than human blood. It tends to make the men cocky and the women lay better.... Just thought you'd like to know.

Ahhh, the memories of last weekend at the Rathaus.......

.....proudly wear epilettes, epal, epualettes, bloody shoulder boards with at least 6 gold bars on em and give rambling dissertations on the status of the orgynisation at........

"Dont worry" said Mavis "It wont hurt once the pain goes away" "You are a woose" said Nana, "If you want to know what real pain is, you should try....................

....looks like when he is unclothed (naked, nude, in the nuddy, wearing his birthday suit, sans vêtements, ohne Kleidung, senza vestiti, etc, etc, etc) "How come a thity something year old looks like that?" asked Mavis "Well," said Nana, "It all began when...........

...love handles really need three hands per side to control them" "Does that mean we can have a foursome?" squealed Nana "It has been a long time since I had a................

"Why Turbz want fruffy Asian?" asked Nobu "He say he not rike fruffy asian, they not taste as good as........

Make the front undercarriage leg cover a bit wider to act as an airbrake

.....gets a whiff of feral pussy. The scent of his prey (hunting reference for all the hunter gatherers out there) usually sends Robingetshisroxoff into a paroxysm (look it up) of maniacal fervour "What rerigion is he?" asked Nobu who had come out of hiding in Gariwerd to pay homage to the great Ratpoo and his ability to go off on a tangent without even thinking he was lost It was about this time that Turbz appeared in an emu feather skirt borrowed from Olblackratspoo ancestors and proceeded to.................

..and he didnt have the time....(pause)..... to play the jukebox (old Gene Pitney reference) So of course, Saturday nite was a sad and lonely night for old Hatshatter who proceeded to grease his bore (funny name for it...) with a molebdenum based product guaranteed to........

....paper cos some nasty people round Waggle way think that she is rough as guts. I tend to disagree as the size of my tackle means she would have to be a super fine grit to make any impression It was at this point that Andyshatonthedoormat piped up and said.............

So, there's this yellow toad wandering around in the forest kinda pissed off because he doesn't want to be yellow. Life would be easier if he were brown like the other toads... He'd sure be less visible to predators for one thing. Anyway... This yellow toad bumps into a fairy godmother. "Fairy godmother, please make me brown like the other toads, " he begs her. "I'm hacked off being so visible to predators. The stress is like, killing me, you know?" "Okay" says the fairy godmother, who whips out her magic wand and goes: "Abracapokus! You're brown!" The toad looks down and sees that he is brown ! Except..... for his weenie, which was still yellow. "Hang about lady," he says to the fairy godmother, "My pecker's still yellow!" "Yeah, well I don't do weenies," she says, "You'll have to go see the Wizard of Oz for that." So the toad thanks her and hops off on his way. There is also a purple bear wandering about the very same woods. As luck would have it, he encounters the very same fairy godmother (yes, okay, it's a coincidence, but it's true). "Fairy Godmother! You're just the person I need!" says the purple bear, "I can't pull any bearesses co's they don't want to be seen with a purple bear on account of the hunters. They can spot me from a mile off." Being a fairly nice fairy godmother, she takes out her magic wand. "Oh for goodness sake, what is the matter with you lot round here" she says. And with that, she yells: "Pokuscadabra! You're brown!" The bear looks down and sees that he is, in fact, brown. Except for his goolies, which remain purple. "Hold up sweetheart!", he says to the fairy Godmother, "My goolies are still purple!" "Yeah, well I don't do those goolie things," she replies, "You'll have to go see the Wizard of Oz for that." "Well that's just dandy, innit?" the bear replies, "How the hell do I find the Wizard of Oz?" "Easy," says the fairy godmother as she flew off........... ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ you know what's coming don't you ? ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ you'll be sorry you ever gave me your email address after this.... ~ ~ ~ ~ she flew off, saying....... "Just follow the yellow-prick toad !! "

The Sneeze A man and a woman were sitting beside each other in the first class section of an airplane. The woman sneezed, took out a tissue, gently wiped her nose, then visibly shuddered for ten to fifteen seconds. The man went back to his reading. A few minutes later, the woman sneezed again, took a tissue, wiped her nose, then shuddered violently once more. Assuming that the woman might have a cold, the man was still curious about the shuddering. A few more minutes passed when the woman sneezed yet again. As before, she took a tissue, wiped her nose, her body shaking even more than before. Unable to restrain his curiosity, the man turned to the woman and said, "I couldn't help but notice that you've sneezed three times, wiped your nose and then shuddered violently. Are you OK?" "I am sorry if I disturbed you, I have a very rare medical condition; whenever I sneeze I have an orgasm." The man, more than a bit embarrassed, was still curious. "I have never heard of that condition before" he said. "Are you taking anything for it?" The woman nodded, "Pepper."