From the Association Of Retired People

[planedriver]

Questions and Answers

 

Q: Where can men over the age of 50 find younger, sexy women who

 

are interested in them?

 

A: Try a bookstore, under fiction.

 

Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?

 

A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement . When you're done you'll have a place to live.

 

Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the Bible...

 

Is that true? Where can it be found?

 

A: Yes. Matthew 14:92: "And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Egypt ..."

 

Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 50-plus year old husband?

 

A: Tell him you're pregnant.

 

Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly wrinkles?

 

A: Take off your glasses.

 

Q: Seriously! What can I do for these crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face?

 

A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out.

 

Q: Why should 50-plus year old people use valet parking?

 

A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.

 

Q: Is it common for 50-plus year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?

 

A: Storing memory is not a problem; retrieving it is the problem.

 

Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?

 

A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.

 

Q: Where should 50-plus year olds look for eye glasses?

 

A: On their foreheads.

 

Q: What is the most common remark made by 50-plus year olds when they enter antique stores?

 

A: "Gosh, I remember these!"

 

SMILE, You still have your sense of humour, RIGHT?

 

 

[Bryon]

This is not funny........I resemble those remarks:laugh:

 

 

[planedriver]

Worse still, is forgeting where you took-off from, and where you were heading to!

 

.

 

As well as.................

 

 

[dazza 38]

I got a good laugh out of that thanks Planey.

 

 

[HEON]

I read most of the laugter posts as at my stage in life I need them.

 

One of the better ones for a long time.

 

Loved it.