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Mars and Venus


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I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never


figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.








One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well,


the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel


like it, I just want you to hold me."






I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every


boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...




"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for


me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."




She responded to my puzzled look by saying,




"Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the






Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.






The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with






We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed


department store.




I walked around with her while she tried on several different very


expensive outfits.




She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them


all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said,


"Lets have a pair for each outfit."




We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of


diamond earrings.




Let me tell you... she was so excited.




I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis


bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.




I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."




She was almost orgasmic from all of the excitement.




Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is


all dear, let's go to the cashier."


I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out,


"No honey, I don't feel like it."




Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,






I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.




You're just not in touch with my financial needs enough for me


to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."




And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added,


"Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I do for you in the Mall?"




Apparently I'm not getting any tonight either....




but at least she knows I'm smarter than her.



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