A new sign in the Bank . . . .

[Phil Perry]

A new sign in the Bank reads:

 

'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through cash machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.

 

After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender.'

 

*******************************

 

MALE PROCEDURE:

 

1... Drive up to the cash machine.

 

2. LOWER your car window.

 

3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

 

4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

 

5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

 

6. Raise window.

 

7. Drive off.

 

************************* ******

 

FEMALE PROCEDURE:

 

(Unfortunately, most of this is the Truth!)

 

1. Drive up to cash machine.

 

2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.

 

3. Put hand brake on, put the window down.

 

4.. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.

 

5. Tell person on mobile phone you will call them back and hang up.

 

6. Attempt to insert card into machine.

 

7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.

 

8. Insert card.

 

9. Re-insert card the right way.

 

10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.

 

11. Enter PIN.

 

12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

 

13. Enter amount of cash required.

 

14.. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

 

15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

 

16. Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside.

 

17. Write debit amount in cheque book and place receipt in back of it.

 

18. Re-check makeup.

 

19. Drive forward 2 feet.

 

20. Reverse back to cash machine.

 

21. Retrieve card.

 

22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!

 

23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.

 

24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.

 

25. Redial person on mobile phone.

 

26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.

 

27. Release Hand Brake.

 

 

[River]

A new sign in the Bank reads: 'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through cash machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.

After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender.'

 

*******************************

 

MALE PROCEDURE:

 

1... Drive up to the cash machine.

 

2. LOWER your car window.

 

3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

 

4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

 

5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

 

6. Raise window.

 

7. Drive off.

 

************************* ******

 

FEMALE PROCEDURE:

 

(Unfortunately, most of this is the Truth!)

 

1. Drive up to cash machine.

 

2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.

 

3. Put hand brake on, put the window down.

 

4.. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.

 

5. Tell person on mobile phone you will call them back and hang up.

 

6. Attempt to insert card into machine.

 

7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.

 

8. Insert card.

 

9. Re-insert card the right way.

 

10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.

 

11. Enter PIN.

 

12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

 

13. Enter amount of cash required.

 

14.. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

 

15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

 

16. Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside.

 

17. Write debit amount in cheque book and place receipt in back of it.

 

18. Re-check makeup.

 

19. Drive forward 2 feet.

 

20. Reverse back to cash machine.

 

21. Retrieve card.

 

22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!

 

23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.

 

24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.

 

25. Redial person on mobile phone.

 

26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.

 

27. Release Hand Brake.

Ace... Damm that's close to some young ladies I've seen at 'standard' ATM's... :-)

 

 

[cscotthendry]

I park my car in a fenced secure compound with a pass card to open the gate. The above procedure for females looks very similar to the process of them getting into the carpark except there's a couple of extra steps when the gate closes before they get the card stowed back in the handbag and then they have to do a couple of the steps again to re-open the gate (including checking the makeup).

 

 

[Old Koreelah]

A great example of adapting to the needs of the needs of the customer. All of it applies to SWMBO except Nos. 17 and 22... She never puts anything back!

 

 

[Phil Perry]

OOOOOOOOOOH. . . . . .

 

I'll bet your Wives really Hate you blokes. . . . .!

 

 

[Phil Perry]

I park my car in a fenced secure compound with a pass card to open the gate. The above procedure for females looks very similar to the process of them getting into the carpark except there's a couple of extra steps when the gate closes before they get the card stowed back in the handbag and then they have to do a couple of the steps again to re-open the gate (including checking the makeup).

OOOOOH Scott. . . . .You're a Man's Man bloke. . . . . . . .

 

Respek.

 

Phil

 

 

[Phil Perry]

A great example of adapting to the needs of the needs of the customer. All of it applies to SWMBO except Nos. 17 and 22... She never puts anything back!

Aw, come on O.K.. . . . . . . .even MY missus isn't THAT bad. . . . . . . . ( Close,. . . .but not that bad. . . .)

 

Phil X

 

 

[Old Koreelah]

I

 

Aw, come on O.K.. . . . . . . .even MY missus isn't THAT bad. . . . . . . . ( Close,. . . .but not that bad. . . .) Phil X

Would I lie to you? Our house goes into Search Mode several times a day. I am regularly amazed at her innovativeness...always finding new and interesting places to leave the keys, her phone...