Nev25

Many years ago I was taken to a public carpark at the end of a runway at Melbourne Airport.

When the Aircraft come in to land you could almost touch the landing gear (slight exaggeration)

It seemed to be a local hangout for young kids (IT WAS 3am)

Ive tryed Google maps and cannot find it

Anyone know if its still there and where it is

Dont know if this is any help

Or any good but I thought I would post it anyway

TuneLab World

Click on Downloads

Then For Pilots Only

What do you call a deer with no eyes

No idea

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs

Still no idea

Radial Engine Anyone

A woman walks into the Centrelink office, trailed by 15 kids..."WOW," the social worker exclaims, "are they ALL YOURS???"

 

"Yep they are all mine," the flustered mum sighs, having heard that question a thousand times before.

 

She says, "Sit down Ashley." All the children rush to find seats.

 

"Well," says the social worker, "then you must be here to sign up. I'll need all your children's names."

 

"This one's my oldest - he is Ashley."

 

"OK, and who's next?"

 

"Well, this one he is Ashley, also."

 

The social worker raises an eyebrow but continues. One by one, through the oldest four, all boys, all named Ashley. Then she is introduced to the eldest girl, named Ashlee!

 

"All right," says the caseworker. "I'm seeing a pattern here. Are they ALL named Ashley?"

 

Their mum replied, "Well, yes-it makes it easier. When it is time to get them out of bed and ready for school, I yell, 'Ashley!' An' when it's time for dinner, I just yell 'Ashley!' an' they all come running.'

 

An' if I need to stop the kid who's running into the street, I just yell 'Ashley' and all of them stop. It's the smartest idea I ever had, namin' them all Ashley."

 

The social worker thinks this over for a bit, then wrinkles her forehead and says tentatively,

 

'But what if you just want ONE kid to come, and not the whole bunch?"

 

"I call them by their last names."

Its sad to say around here (where I live) its rather true.

Not shore about 15 Kids But I do know a lady with 5 (all different Fathers)

Hymn #365

A minister was completing a Temperance sermon. With great emphasis he said, 'If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river.'

With even greater emphasis he said, 'And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river.'

And then finally, shaking his fist in the air, he said, 'And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river.'

Sermon complete, he sat down.

The song leader stood very cautiously and announced with a smile, nearly laughing, 'For our closing song, let us sing Hymn #365, 'Shall We Gather at the River.'

Who needs an airplane

ITS DARK IN HERE

A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work.

Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them, and hides in the bedroom cupboard to watch.

The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the cupboard, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.

The little boy says, "Dark in here."

The man says, "Yes, it is."

Boy - "I have a football."

Man - "That's nice."

Boy - "Want to buy it?"

Man - "No, thanks."

Boy - "My dad's outside."

Man - "OK, how much?"

Boy - "$750"

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the cupboard together.

Boy - "Dark in here."

Man - "Yes, it is." Boy - "I have football boots."

The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?"

Boy - "$2250"

Man - "Sold."

A few days later, the boys' father says to the boy, "Grab your boots and football, let's go outside and have a game of soccer.

The boy says, "I can't, I sold my ball and boots."

The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"

Boy -"$3000"

The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."

They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.

The boy says, "Dark in here."

The priest says, "Don't start that **** again. You're in my cupboard now."

Can a politician change a light globe?

Cant see why not they screw everything else up :Bannana

Here's the story....

We had a "going away" party yesterday for a lady at our office.

One of the supervisors called a Local cake shop and ordered the cake.

He told them to write: "Best Wishes Suzanne" and underneath that write

"We will miss you".

As the picture shows, it didn't quite turn out right

[ATTACH]4191.vB[/ATTACH]

We have had a stray cat hanging around our house for a while now and have tried everything to get rid of it

Someone told me to put petrol in a bowl and it will take one sniff of it repulse the smell and leave never to return

So the other night I put some petrol in a bowl went back in side and watched out the window

To my surprise the cat went up to the dish sniffed the petrol and lapped up all the contents of the bowl

The cat then took off ran around the back yard very fast about four times

Ran out the front and ran around and around then ran across the road and stopped

Why??

He ran out of petrol

PS no animals where harmed in anyway during the concoction of the yarn

A "straight" flight attendant went to the Doctor

with a medical condition. The Doctor gave him

some tablets but told him not to eat anything by

mouth for one week. In fact, any food had to be

inserted up his back passage.

The Doctor said the tablets may have a side effect

and cause the patient to appear gay. In that case

he should return to the Doctor quickly.

Everything went well and the patient went back

after two weeks. However he had the traditional

appearance of a gay person with the hips

swaggering and other gay actions.

The Doctor said, "I thought I told you to come back

quickly if you showed signs of becoming gay".

The flight attendant replied, "I am not gay.

I am just having problems eating this Mintie".

During a commercial airline flight an RAAF pilot was seated next to a young mother with a babe in arms. When her baby began crying during the descent for landing, the mother began nursing her infant as discretely as possible.

The pilot pretended not to notice and, upon disembarking, he gallantly offered his assistance to help with the various baby related impediments.

When the mother expressed her gratitude, the pilot responded, "Gosh, that's a good looking baby...and he sure was hungry."

Somewhat embarrassed, the mother explained that her pediatrician said breast feeding would help alleviate the pressure in the baby's ears.

Allan shook his head, and in true pilot fashion exclaimed, "Damn!....and all these years I've been chewing gum."

Five doctors decided to go duck hunting the next day together. Early the next morning the MDs (A G.P., a pediatrician, a psychiatrist, a surgeon, and a pathologist) show up at the duck blind with their shotguns. In a little while a little bird flies over.

The G.P. stands up, looks at the bird, then sits down and says, "I'm not sure that's a duck."

Next the pediatrician hops up, looks at the bird, sits down and says,"Well I'm sure that's a duck, but I don't know whether it's a little boy duck or a little girl duck."

Then the psychiatrist stands up , looks at the bird, sits down and says,"Well I know that's a duck, but I don't know if it knows it's a duck."

So the surgeon stands up, looks at the bird, raises his shotgun and blows it out of the sky, sits down, turns to the pathologist and says,"Go find out if that's a duck."

It's all about a bottle of beer.

first guy sold it here

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=270132264843

the buyer of it, corrected the spelling, added in a description worthy of the item, and well, turned it straight around and sold it here

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=260145824374

I am not sure exactly how that first guy goes on breathing... I think that would have been the end of me.

Here is a little article about it

http://www.luxist.com/2007/09/10/ebay-typo-costs-man-500-000/

and just thought about it- the other guy who must be kicking himself is the only OTHER bidder in the first sale who only bidded a $300 maximum.

http://cgi.ebay.com.au/Rare-Paper-Aeroplane-Crashed-and-Burned-Prototype_W0QQitemZ330164793823QQihZ014QQcategoryZ102702QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

Cuckoo Clock

The weight on my cuckoo clock broke

So I went to bunnings and asked if I could have a long weight

I was there all day

I'm wondering what License is required for a Gyro

A couple goes for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and order the "Chicken Surprise." The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot. Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises lightly and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down.

"Good grief, did you see that?" she asks her husband.

He hasn't, so she asks him to look in the pot. He reaches for it and again the lid rises, and he sees two little eyes looking around before it slams down. Rather perturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening, and demands an explanation.

"Please sir," says the waiter, "what you order?"

The husband replies, "Chicken Surprise."

"Ah, so sorry," says the waiter, "I bring you Peeking Duck."

I'm going to ask Ian (when I get around to it) for an aircraft enthusiast/monitoring thread for things like this. I think it would be better suited and would not clog the rest of the forum. I know there are a few spotters/radio heads/enthusiasts like myself out there on these forums.

I saw a AUSTER J1 at YLTV yesterday

First time I have ever seen one (didnt even know they existed)

I come across this site

http://www.ftpilottraining.com/index.html

Id be interested to hear comments

Of course there is no mention of cost

Many years ago I attended a info session from a Commercial pilot training school that was based in Cessnock (NSW)

I pasted the aptitude test and was than asked for something like $20,000 to complete the course (thats included accommodation and meals and uniforms )

(Hence I still don't have it )

Nev

found this when googleing spu bags.......ONE UNDER THE SEAT.......PRICELESSclick here Travelljohn

Love the illustration on the box

I wonder

I have always wondered what Racing car drivers do in the same situation.

I was once told that in the Bathurst 1000 the drivers just pee there pants?

Don't know if its try but I have seen interviews with some driver and the subject has been raise and and answer avoided

Thanks but I was really after plans to build my own

I'm wondering if someone has plans to build a antenna for a Scanner

At the moment I am using the rubber ducky type that come with the scanner but would like to construct one to mount on the roof of the house