pudestcon Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 HOPE THIS MAKES YOU SMILE THE MOST FUNCTIONAL ENGLISH WORD Well, it's shit ... that's right, shit! Shit may just be the most functional word in the English language. You can smoke shit, buy shit, sell shit, lose shit, find shit, forget shit and tell others to eat shit. Some people know their shit, while others can't tell the difference between shit and brasso. There are lucky shits, dumb shits and crazy shits. There is bull shit, horse shit and chicken shit. You can throw shit, sling shit, catch shit, shoot the shit,(or duck when the shit hits the fan). You can give a shit or serve shit on a shingle. You can find yourself in deep shit or be happier than a pig in shit. Some days are colder than shit, some days are hotter than shit and some days are just plain shitty. Some music sounds like shit, things can look like shit and there are times when you feel like shit. You can have too much shit, not enough shit, the right shit, the wrong shit or a lot of weird shit. You can carry shit, have a mountain of shit, or find yourself up shit creek without a paddle. Sometimes everything you touch turns to shit and other times you fall in a bucket of shit and come out smelling like a rose. When you stop to consider all the facts, it's the basic building block of the English language. And remember, once you know your shit, you don't need to know anything else!! You could pass this along, if you give a shit; or not do so if you don't give a shit! Well, Shit, it's time for me to go. Just wanted you to know that I do give a shit and hope you had a nice day, without any shit. But, if you happened to catch a load of shit from some shit-head.......... Well, Shit Happens!!! Pud 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Litespeed Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 Top Shit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Maj Millard Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 **** hot !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dazza 38 Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 Holy **** that was funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Maj Millard Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 ****,.. watch those geese !!.................Capt Sully into the Hudson......................................Maj... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wayne T Mathews Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 Q/ The three most feared comments on a multicrew flight deck???... A/ 1/ A Capt who says, "Yeah,,, well watch this." 2/ A First Officer who says, "I've got an idea." 3/ Or a Flight Engineer who says, "Oh shit." Keep the sunny side up, Wayne. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
facthunter Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 One truism that I can recall on this matter. Life is like a s**t sandwich. The more bread you have the less s**t you have to eat. Nev Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
driftamark Posted December 13, 2011 Share Posted December 13, 2011 But always remember that if you dont **** you die Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skeptic36 Posted December 13, 2011 Share Posted December 13, 2011 Who is Jack Schitt? For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt!" Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way. Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parents’ objections, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and, because her kids were living with them she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock. Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt. Now when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt," you can correct them. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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