planedriver Posted November 10, 2013 Share Posted November 10, 2013 A man and his wife were celebrating 50 years together. Their three kids, all very successful high flyers, all agreed to a Sunday dinner in their honour. "Happy Anniversary Mum & Dad" gushed son number one, a brain transplant surgeon, "Sorry I'm running late. I had an emergency at the hospital with a patient, you know how it is, and didn't have time to get you a gift." "Not to worry" said the father, the important thing is that we're all together today." Son number two, an English Government lawyer, arrived and announced "You and Mum look great, Dad. I just flew in from London between cases and didn't have time to shop for you". "It's nothing," said the father. "We're glad you were able to come." Just then the daughter,a marketing executive with Microsoft,arrived. "Hello and Happy Anniversary! I'm sorry but my boss is sending me to Indonesia and I was really busy packing so I didn't have time to get you anything." After they finished dessert, the father said, "There's something your mother and I have wanted to tell you for a long time. You see, in the early days, we were very, very poor. Despite this,we sacrificed everthing and went without creature comforts to enable us to send each of you to university. Throughout the years your mother and I knew we loved each other very much, but we just never found the time to get married." The three children gasped and said, in unison, "You mean we're bast**ds?" "Yes," said the father, "the worst kind i'm afraid, self-centred and tight-fisted ones at that"! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bexrbetter Posted November 10, 2013 Share Posted November 10, 2013 I'm not a barsta*d, luckily for me my Mum and my Uncle were married 3 weeks before I was born. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaz3g Posted November 11, 2013 Share Posted November 11, 2013 Ww I'm not a barsta*d, luckily for me my Mum and my Uncle were married 3 weeks before I was born. Who did they marry? Kaz 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PA. Posted November 11, 2013 Share Posted November 11, 2013 I asked a Priest if it was OK to sleep with a woman who isn't my wife, he replied "Yes, as long as that is all you do." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
planedriver Posted November 11, 2013 Author Share Posted November 11, 2013 I know an ex-priest :pope:who slept with my ex-wife and he did wind up marrying her. She had plenty of money and he'd been on the dole for about 11yrs. I think it was love at first sight of the bank balance Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
facthunter Posted November 11, 2013 Share Posted November 11, 2013 If she is inclined that way you owe the Priest a debt of gratitude as long as he took over the payments . nev Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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