Phil Perry Posted March 8, 2014 Share Posted March 8, 2014 > An Aussie Blonde was sent on her way to Heaven. Upon arrival, a concerned St Peter met her at the Pearly Gates. > > 'I'm sorry, 'St Peter said; 'But Heaven is suffering from an overload of godly souls and we have been forced to put up an > > Entrance Exam for new arrivals to ease the burden of Heavenly Arrivals.' > > 'That's cool' said the Blonde, 'What does the Entrance Exam consist of?' > > 'Just three questions' said St Peter. > > 'Which are?' asked the Blonde. > > 'The first,' said St Peter, 'is, which two days of the week start with the letter 'T'? > > The second is 'How many seconds are there in a year'? > > The third is 'What was the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?' > > 'Now,' said St Peter, 'Go away and think about those questions and when I call upon you, > > I shall expect you to have those answers for me.' > > So the Blonde went away and gave those three questions some considerable thought (I expect you to do the same). > > The following morning, St Peter called upon the Blonde and asked if she had considered the questions, to which she replied, 'I have.' > > 'Well then,' said St Peter, 'Which two days of the week start with the letter T?' > > The Blonde said, 'Today and Tomorrow.' > > St Peter pondered this answer for some time, and decided that indeed the answer can be applied to the question. > > 'Well then, could I have your answer to the second of the three questions' > > St Peter went on, 'how many seconds in a year?' > > The Blonde replied, 'Twelve!' > > 'Only twelve' exclaimed St Peter, 'How did you arrive at that figure?' > > 'Easy,' said the Blonde, 'there's the second of January, the second of February, right through to the second of December, > > giving a total of twelve seconds.' > > St Peter looked at the Blonde and said, 'I need some time to consider your answer before I can give you a decision.' > > And he walked away shaking his head. > > A short time later, St Peter returned to the Blonde. > > 'I'll allow the answer to stand, but you need to get the third and final question absolutely correct to be allowed into Heaven. > > Now, can you tell me the answer to the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?' > > The blonde replied: 'Of the three questions, I found this the easiest to answer.' > > 'Really!' exclaimed St Peter, 'And what is the answer?' > > 'It's Andy.' > > 'Andy??' > > 'Yes, Andy,' said the Blonde. > > This totally floored St Peter, and he paced this way and that, deliberating the answer. > > Finally, he could not stand the suspense any longer, and turning to the blonde, asked 'How in God's name did you arrive at THAT answer?' > > 'Easy' said the Blonde, 'Andy sat, Andy watched, Andy waited till his billy boiled.' 2 5 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jabiru Phil Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 From one Phil to another, this is the best joke for 2014!!! Thanks for sharing Phil. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bexrbetter Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 Bit early yet but it's in the running, going to win an ice cream bet with my grand-daughters with it for sure!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark11 Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 She ain't a dumb blonde Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Perry Posted March 13, 2014 Author Share Posted March 13, 2014 From one Phil to another, this is the best joke for 2014!!!Thanks for sharing Phil. Aw Shucks Phil. . . .it wasn't that good, AND a KIWI told it to me in the pub the other evening. . . . .( ! ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Perry Posted March 13, 2014 Author Share Posted March 13, 2014 Bit early yet but it's in the running, going to win an ice cream bet with my grand-daughters with it for sure!! Good luck with the ICB Mark. . . . . . Phil 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metalman Posted March 13, 2014 Share Posted March 13, 2014 Some quickies involving blondes, Two blondes on opposite sides of a river, one yells "how do I get to the other side" ,,,,,,"you are on the other side stupid" A blonde is asked "what is closer,,,the moon or New York " ,,,,,"the moon of course, I can't see New York from here" To blondes walked into a bar,,,,,you'd think the second one would've seen it! How to confuse a blonde ,,,give her four shovels and tell her to take her pick 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marty_d Posted March 13, 2014 Share Posted March 13, 2014 Some quickies involving blondes A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, you should know something. Our bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I’m a six foot tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is six foot two, weighs 225, and he’s a rugby player. The fella to your right is six foot five, pushing 300, and he’s a wrestler. Each one of us is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?" The blind guy says, “Nah, not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times." 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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