Golf Club Etiquette

[Guest john]

A Priest, an Indian Doctor, a rich Chinese businessman & a Kiwi Farmer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers in front of them.

 

The Kiwi fumed & said" Whats with those blokes in front of us? We must have been waiting for about 20 minutes now".

 

The Indian Doctor chimed in, ""I don't know, I've never seen such poor golf courtesy before as this".

 

The Chinese businessman yelled out: Move it you slow blokes in front because time is money"

 

The Priest said: " Here comes George the greenkeeper. Lets have a word with him about this matter.

 

"Hello George" said the Priest, "Whats wrong with that group of golfers ahead of us because they are rather slow aren't they".

 

George the greenkeeper replied"Oh yes thats a group of blind fire fighters, they lost their sight saving our Clubhouse from burning down a couple of years ago, so we always let them play for free any time they like to." The impatient golfers fell silent for a moment & then the Priest said: "Thats so sad, I think will should say a special prayer for them tonight at mass ".

 

The Indian Doctor said: " Good idea, because I'm also going to contact my Specialist Opthalmologist Colleague & see if theres any possibility for a medical procedure that can be performed ".

 

The Chinese Businessman replied: " I think I will donate $100000.00 to these firefighters union in honour of their bravery".

 

The Kiwi then stated: "Why the fxxk can't they play at night".

 

 

[ayavner]

HAHAHAHAHAH i almost snorted my apple out my nose! good one john

 

 

[bexrbetter]

Very funny, oldie but a goldie and worth reading anytime thanks, but ....

 

The Chinese Businessman replied: " I think I will donate $100000.00 .......".

... you don't know how true the "I think I will" part is!

 

 

[PA.]

Four guys have been going to the same golfing trip to St Andrews for many years. Two days before the group is to leave, Jack's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going. Jack's mates are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do.

 

Two days later, the three get to St Andrews only to find Jack sitting at the bar with four drinks set up! "Wow, Jack, how long you been here, and how did you talk your misses into letting you go?"

 

"I've been here since last night. Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my living room chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and asked, 'Guess who?"

 

I pulled her hands off, and there she was, wearing a new negligee. She took my hand and pulled me into our bedroom. The room had candles and rose petals all over. Well she's been reading ‘50 Shades of Grey’.

 

On the bed she had handcuffs, and ropes!

 

She told me to tie her up and cuff her to the bed, so I did. And then she said, "Do whatever you want."

 

So... Here I am!

 

 

[bexrbetter]

... my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and asked, 'Guess who?"

Do you know how many times that ones gotten me in the poo .... DOH!

 

 

[Marty_d]

Yes, my favourite line when that happens is "Not now! My wife will be getting home any minute now!!"

 

 

[Stoney]

Also guys, be careful.

 

If your wife ever says, "Honey, if I were to organise a threesome for you, which one of my friends would you like me to invite."

 

Don't answer, it's a trap.

 

 

[ayavner]

[ayavner]

Also guys, be careful.If your wife ever says, "Honey, if I were to organise a threesome for you, which one of my friends would you like me to invite."

 

Don't answer, it's a trap.

especially if you say "only one, thought you said threesome?"

 

 

[Marty_d]

Or... "Lets not worry about your friends honey, I have a couple of girls already picked out..."

 

 

[PA.]

Also guys, be careful.If your wife ever says, "Honey, if I were to organise a threesome for you, which of my friends would you like me to invite."

 

Don't answer, it's a trap.

Question altered. Never give her two names.