red750 Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 On his 70th birthday, a man was given a gift certificate from his wife. The certificate was for consultation with an Indian medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a simple cure for erectile dysfunction. The husband went to the reservation and saw the medicine man. The old Indian gave him a potion and, with a grip on his shoulder, warned ‘This is a powerful medicine. You take only a teaspoonful, and then say: ‘1-2-3.' When you do, you willbecome more manly than you have ever been in your life,and you can perform for as long as you want." The man thanked the old Indian, and as he walked away, he turned and asked: “How do I stop the medicine from working?" "Your partner must say ‘1-2-3-4,' he responded, "but when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon." He was very eager to see if it worked so he went home,showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine,and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom. When she came in, he took off his clothes and said: "1-2-3!" Immediately, he was the manliest of men. His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes,and asked: "What was the 1-2-3 for?" And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition, because we could end up with a dangling participle. 1 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PA. Posted July 28, 2015 Share Posted July 28, 2015 A group of four-year-olds were trying very hard to become accustomed to school. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on NO baby talk! "You need to use 'Big People' words," she was always reminding them. "John what did you do over the weekend?" "I went to visit my Nana." "No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use 'Big People' words!" She then asked Mitchell what he had done. "I took a ride on a choo-choo."... "No, you took a ride on a TRAIN. You must remember to use 'Big People' words," she said. She then asked little Alex what he had done. "I read a book," he replied. "That's WONDERFUL!" the teacher said. "What book did you read?" Alex thought very hard about it, then puffed out his chest with great pride and said, "Winnie the Sh!t." 1 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marty_d Posted August 4, 2015 Share Posted August 4, 2015 Well, he did get stuck in a rabbit hole once after eating too much honey. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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