Airplanes vs. Women

[Steve L]

Sixteen reasons why airplanes are easier to live with than women:

 

1) Airplanes usually kill you quickly - a woman takes her time.

 

2) Airplanes can be turned on by a flick of a switch.

 

3) Airplanes don't get mad if you do a "touch and go."

 

4) Airplanes don't object to a pre-flight inspection.

 

5) Airplanes come with manuals to explain their operation.

 

6) Airplanes have strict weight and balance limitations.

 

7) Airplanes can be flown any time of the month.

 

8) Airplanes don't come with in-laws.

 

9) Airplanes don't care about how many other airplanes you've flown before.

 

10) Airplanes and pilots both arrive at the same time.

 

11) Airplanes don't mind if you look at other airplanes.

 

12) Airplanes don't mind if you buy airplane magazines.

 

13) Airplanes expect to be tied down.

 

14) Airplanes don't comment on your piloting skills.

 

15) Airplanes don't whine unless something is really wrong.

 

16) However, when airplanes go quiet, just like women, it's usually not good.

 

 

[Adrian Lewer]

Love it !!!!!

 

 

[Relfy]

classic

 

 

[BLA82]

That is great:thumb_up::thumb_up: That should be made into a t-shirt.

 

 

[farri]

I think so to,good onya :thumb_up:

 

Frank.

 

 

[tangocharlie123]

how to dig a big hole

 

don't read out aloud over the phone..:hittinghead: to the minister of finance

 

 

[Steve L]

I dug a bigger hole than you Charlie

 

I GOT SPRUNG POSTING IT :hittinghead:

 

T shirts sound good, anyone have any ideas?

 

Steve.

 

 

[BLA82]

I I GOT SPRUNG POSTING IT :hittinghead:

Steve.

lol I read it to the minister or war and peace and trust me she had the war portfolio open:laugh:

 

 

[Tomo]

I think No.16 has to be the best one!!

 

 

[slartibartfast]

My wife insisted on right of reply. See her comebacks below:

 

(Re 13 - she must be talking about a previous relationship)

 

 

Sixteen reasons why airplanes are easier to live with than women:

 

1) Airplanes usually kill you quickly - a woman takes her time. Would you like to be killed the first time you're with a woman or would you like more of them?

 

2) Airplanes can be turned on by a flick of a switch. And if you don't they're no fun at all.

 

3) Airplanes don't get mad if you do a "touch and go. But if you do it badly they can kill you.

 

4) Airplanes don't object to a pre-flight inspection. And if you don't they can kill you.

 

5) Airplanes come with manuals to explain their operation. If you don't learn about them they can kill you.

 

6) Airplanes have strict weight and balance limitations. And if they don't they can kill you.

 

7) Airplanes can be flown any time of the month. GREAT! But not if it's raining, too windy, snowing, hailing, or if you're drunk.

 

8) Airplanes don't come with in-laws. But pilots do.

 

9) Airplanes don't care about how many other airplanes you've flown before. Like women, they know you need the practice.

 

10) Airplanes and pilots both arrive at the same time. Especially at the crash scene.

 

11) Airplanes don't mind if you look at other airplanes. But they can kill you if you look too long in the air.

 

12) Airplanes don't mind if you buy airplane magazines. Women don't mind if you buy womens' magazines--you might learn something about them!

 

13) Airplanes expect to be tied down. Hey it's husbands who complain about being tied down.

 

14) Airplanes don't comment on your piloting skills. But they can kill you if your technique is lousy.

 

15) Airplanes don't whine unless something is really wrong. And then they can kill you.

 

16) However, when airplanes go quiet, just like women, it's usually not good. But the airplane is more likely to kill you.

 

So now which is more dangerous--an airplane or a woman??

 

 

[skeptic36]

Hey Slarti,

 

Re 13 Is that the fluffy hand cuffs sort of tying down you speak of

 

Regards Bill

 

 

[Guest bateo]

17) If aircraft needs warming up, alls you have to do is apply the Carby heat :)

 

Or in that case to 'run' smoother! haha

 

 

[BLA82]

17) If aircraft needs warming up, alls you have to do is apply the Carby heat :)

That reminded me of a joke.

 

Why are women like cars?

 

On the cold winter mornings when you need them the most they just wont turn over:laugh: