PA.

He says, It's not you I intend to nail.

and they are always in the dead center of town.

Two occupants, injuries not serious, aircraft completely destroyed. Occupants were both able to exit the wreckage and walk unaided to a nearby house. Both airlifted to hospital as a precautionary measure.

Phil

I took my wife to a look at a new home village. I asked her if she would like to live here to which she replied, yes. So I left her there.

Scary Clown has now been dumped.

The Scary Clown might be gone tonight.

Perfect Airport Security SolutionShortly thereafter an announcement comes over the PA system, “Attention Standby passengers. We now have a seat available on flight number 4665 ….Paging maintenance. Shop Vac needed in booth number 4.”

The clown will be gone on September 14th if not before.

If you want to know what she will be like in 20 years, look at her mother.

From a friends Facebook page.

A fishing excursion in the Alaskan wilderness,The charter pilot and fishermen left a cooler and bait in the plane.

And a bear smelled it. This is what he did to the plane. The pilot used his radio and had another pilot bring him 2 new tires, 3 cases of duct tape, and a supply of sheet plastic. He patched the plane together, and FLEW IT HOME...!

Boom boom!

My wife asked me if I would like a romantic weekend away. Being the good husband I am I replied, "No I would rather spend it with you." and that's when the fight started.

tHE AVATAR SHOULD BE GONE ON sEPTEMBER 14TH.

Damn you Caps Lock.

Passengers on a small plane are waiting for the flight to leave. They're getting a little impatient, but the airport staff assures them the pilots will be there soon, and then the flight can take off.

Finally the entrance opens, and two men dressed in Pilots' uniforms walk up the aisle. Both are wearing dark glasses, one is using a guide dog, and the other is tapping his way along the aisle with a white cane.

Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin, but the men enter the cockpit, the door closes, and the engines start up. The passengers begin glancing nervously around, searching for some sign that this is just a little practical joke. None is forthcoming.

The plane moves faster and faster down the runway, and the people sitting in the window seats realize they're headed straight for the water at the edge of the airport territory. As it begins to look as though the plane will plow into the water, panicked screams fill the cabin.

At that moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air. The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly, and soon all retreat into their magazines, secure in the knowledge that the plane really is in good hands.

Meanwhile, in the cockpit, the pilot turns to the co-pilot and says, "You know, Jim one of these days, they're gonna scream too late and we're all gonna die."

Memories, of the speedway back in the (cough cough!) 60's, lets just say a few years ago.P.S. I also have to stick my nose over the top of a saucepan cooking beetroot.

 

It takes me back to the days when I used to cook them up in an old gas copper, before going out on a trades bike delivering green groceries and chucking over-ripe tomatoes at the snobby college kids waiting at the bus stop, who looked down on me for trying to a shilling.

 

Fortunately i'm reformed.

 

But only just!

The world expert on wasps and the sounds that they make is taking a stroll down his local high street. as he passes by the record shop, a sign catches his eye. 'Just released – new LP "Wasps of the world and the sounds that they make" – available now’.

Unable to resist the temptation, he goes into the shop and says: “I am the world expert on wasps and the sounds that they make. I'd very much like to listen to the new LP you have advertised in the window.”

“Certainly sir”, says the man behind the counter. If you'd like to step in the booth and put on the headphones, I'll put the LP on for you.”

The world expert on wasps, goes into the booth and puts on the headphones. Ten minutes later, he comes out of the booth and announces: “I am the world expert on wasps and the sounds that they make and yet I recognise none of those.”

“I'm sorry sir”, says the young assistant. "If you'd care to step into the booth I can let you have another ten minutes.”

The world expert on and the sounds that they make, steps back into the booth and replaces the headphones. Ten minutes later, he comes out of the booth shaking his head. “I don’t understand it”, he says, “I am the world expert on wasps and the sounds that they make and yet I still can't recognise any of those.”

“I really am terribly sorry”, says the young assistant, “I've just realised I was playing the bee side.”

I wonder if she was Board of their Honeymoon?

Something Jack Flyer might do in a future chapter?

My wife believes Sex is an Olympic sport, it happens once every four years.

That posted needed the Gay Rainbow.

Clowns scare me (scary clown avatar) and then you comment about ice-cream!