turboplanner

....a pattern that had won the Launceston Show's Sponge Cake Championship year after year. This amazing invention was also partly responsible for Turbine Beef's string of 17 Champions of Show and the annual Longreach Royal Show, Rodeo and Rooster Chase. Turbo's bulls would be trimmed then groomed by the Longreach Hair Salon, and if they dropped a load, Patty, as he was called would move in before the last drip and fashion a beautiful pattern, whereas the other entrants just left the copats as they were. Over the years Turbo often noticed the longing look of the Judge, thinking of his grandma's sponge all covered in patterned cream. That was until the 2023 show when............

.......decided to set EP up one day. EP could be unpredictable when you flew......just like the Jab, so you had to be ready for anything, but EP always did the same sequence when testing students. Well not always; every tenth student go it reversed, but 9 out of 10 you knew when you were for the cow pat test. The females were tested just the same as the males; EP was a stickler for Diversity. It was time for Pip's test (we can't give you her real name because she went on to a senior position in CASA.) Student Paul secreted himself behind an agreed Gorse bush with a bucket of blood from the local knackery. Sure enoughh EP pulled the cow pat trick. Pip set a trajectory to take here near the gorse bush, and suddenly exclaimed "WHAT WAS THAT BANG!" "What bang?" asked EP who had been reading a newspaper. They circled and there spreadeagled was a person covered in so much blood he was almost certainly dead. They flew back to the strip, jumped in the ute and drove back over the paddock. When they got there the body was gone but in its place were police numbered markers denoting the body and a trail of squashed cow pats. Pip squeezed back a laugh at EP's face ............................

.......at this, Epaulette snarled and squinted, they way he did if you stuffed up a ground guide where he expected you to use the wet cow pats to glide at 20 mm above the ground for as long as the Jab was prepared to stretch it; the fear of what EP would do to you if you actually touched dirt was ..................

.....the first person came out of the booth area. "HECKLE! FRECKLE! why so speckle!!!!!!?" asked a shocked Pae Mee Nao. "It's alright for you Spick and Span; where were YOU when the sh!t hit the Fan!!" replied ........

.....knocking on the door so to speak. Then someone did a search and found a Public Comfort Station up the street and the crew of desperates ran for their life. A couple made the Great Deposit, but the rest, male and female poured recklessly down the stairs where they were greeted by a Chinese Host Pae Mee Nao. It was only a dollar but three of them threw their wallets at him and one male stopped to loan a female a dollar and accidentally dropped his load .............

....$1 slot toilets where some wag had superglued the slots.......

If relatives have been traumatised they should contact one of the Public Liability Lawyers before the time runs out.

.......something different to what we know was on his mind and would soon.......

.....and the moustache trimmed to a surgeon's accuracy. That piercing look.........

........those "AviatorSupreme" sunnys ...............

.....the Delegate from the Upper and Lower Murray Scout Flyers Association walked into the room, straight from the Dairy with his hob nail gum boots gouging the new planed and polished floor. He froze, his mouth open in a rictus of fear. On the screen was a powerpoint slide; on the slide was the back end of a Mutton Bird and on the Mutton Bird was the tattoo of the dreaded Moderati. The Moderati were believed to have died out in the Medieval period when warriors from the Turbine clan put them to the axe, but every now and again one shows up. Loxie was one and Cappy had seen his tattoo but never told anyone. After Loxie was caught with his hand in the biscuit jar at AUF he was never heard from again. Nobody noticed the three small scars under the Dele.gate's left ear, but they noticed he was starting to transform...........

........the Dress Code Department of AUF to swing into action. There was a strange silence in the AUF office. there were usually long periods of silence; after all how long do you need to spend on the minimum standard of a wheel spat. This however was a STRANGE silence and no one was prepared to go first.................

......excelled himself in his aviation skills, persuasive teaching methods in Jabirus, and immaculate flying uniform which would make Biggles look like a slob. Only..........

.......Farmers Association (Aviation Division) Inc in ACT, and someone we all know well by his ..........

......... make it mandatory to fit Bull Bars to all recreational aircraft and Cessnas (since more Cessnas crash than any other make). A CASA team will be flying around the Country shortly to explain the rationale behind this new CASA initiative, and who should be leading the Education Team but ......................