Bryon

"Ok, I will show you how it is done"............and that is when the war began

......who thinks he is enigmatic, even though this puzzles the wreck flying crew who can't figure out who or what he is.

Somedays they think he is just a.........

......under his.....

Phil, do you fly out of Pillaton?

........had been assured by the young saleswoman showed off his assets to the best

Unfortunately, Elratsack was not to know that the assets she was referring to were.......

Two nuns were walking into town when they were accosted and raped

After cleaning themselves up, they continued on their way into town

One nun turned to the other and said "how are we going to explain to Mother Superior that we were raped twice in the one day"

"what do you mean 'raped twice in one day'" the other nun said

"Well, we have to come back this way don't we" the first nun said

Phil,

If you want to enjoy roo, the best way is to buy a fillet, slice it into thin steaks 1/4 inch thick, marinate in red wine and garlic, throw it on a hot BBQ, count 1000, 2000, 3000, 4000, 5000 turn it over, count the same again take it off and enjoy

Ps you can marinate it overnight and it still tastes great

A young friend of mine today had never heard of the term "brown trout farm" when referring to a sewerage works.

She was quite amused when I explained to her that it had nothing to do with fishing

........it was better than takin a stroll down Lygon St, cos you never know who you may bump into (NTTIAWWT).

That place is full of..........

Rats!!!!! where was Turdbros reply when I needed it

See what happens when someone posts a reply in the early hours of the morning.

........ which happens to Turbo at traffic lights these days, while he looks around to see who is looking at him in the Vette. 

 

"Is that Brad Pitt?" ask the kiddies in the beige Corolla in the next lane. "Narrrr. It's Barry Hall" their mum replies.

 

 

 

But enough of that because Ratsack is deep in thought considering the few times that he has flown with HatBoy when Andy has often called "Brace/Brace/Brace" and then told Ratso to put his head between his legs.

 

 

 

"Shouldn't he say "Put your head between your own legs"" asked Ratty to Salty "Because I have always thought that .......

......self gratification was naughty and made your eyes water"

"Not so" said Salty, "I was told that self gratification was for A.Theists and his family who would never go to heaven according to Adon Ramasees from the book of ........

"Hey wait a minute, I've been dreaming but now that I've come to my senses, its really a good dose of WHISKEY that provides all the above mentioned pleasures."

I learnt that years ago, but I moved on to vodka, cos it is cheaper:rofl:

.....the bruddy clows" exclaimed Nobu

"He is not a clow, ...uh...crow, he is just a naughty magpie who has been pinching Madges bloomers off the line at.....

....once had to land with a problem with my exhaust gasses

"A decent proctologist and some carbon tablets will fix that" mumbled Elratto as he stumbled from the BoB

"Ha, I'll just weld it shut" offered Madge as he tried to hold on to Elrattos arm to stop him from.......

.......the 300 kilometer extension cord for when I visit PoxyLoxy in his....

.....rechargeable battery powered begatter, available on eeeeens-bay with extra........

..."Look not to me as the Messiah, but look to the....

.....calculate the effects of turbulence caused by a low hanging appendage.

It is all based on the amount of curved surface area multiplied by the heat of the meat and divided by the angle of the dangle

"All very well," moaned Poxyloxy, "but can it.....

.....is really Een the Magnificent trying to fulfill his ambition to be a......

....Elrattso when he is all done up in his Gumly Gumly CWA outfit (NTTIAWWT) pretending to be a lovelorn used wife (see post 9599) looking for a jihaddist to.....

That is why KFC in Russia is so popular

Have you ever tasted KFC soaked in vodka?

...try and convince the jihaddists that 72 virgins was 70 too many to supply, and would they settle for 2 virgins, 3 used wives and a couple of the Gumly Gumly CWA matrons (dont let Elratto know) who had heaps of experience with......

...kilo or two of phlegm to really understand the feeling of being part of the great unwashed

"Hey, you be careful of what you say" yelled Epaulette, "I resemble that remark, and I will have you know that here in Taswegia we..........

....had taken umbrage (NTTIAWWT) at the Elrattaus using his fur as a wet wipe when in actual fact..........

....was hired to jump out of a cake at an octogenarian birthday do.

Well, Turbo in his usually bodacious manner thought he heard them say "birthday suit" when what they actually said was 'body suit'

So instead of jumping out the cake in a body suit that made him look like Ceasar Romero, he looked like a customer of Linda Lovelace

10 Octas (avref) fainted, 7 Octas ran out the door and headed for the BAng-it-home hills and 5 Octas started to remove their clothing in anticipation.

Now, Turdbro, who by this time was wondering what was going on, saw 5 Octas advancing towards him in various stages of undress (NTTIAWWT) with gleams in their eyes and ........