turboplanner

..."Jabiru Joe from Omeo" he said. He wasn't, but he wasn't going to tell her that. By the way Admin who is Ford Prefect?, give us Newbies a clue, so we can really take a piece of him, or, being politically correct her, or, being practical, it.

Prefect gave a particularly hard lunge, and his size tens hit the side of the Jab fuselage. It was cold at the time and he broke both ankles....

".... had I spent less time setting up the auto dialler to ring those B:censored:ds, it would have been ME :star::star: being the 1K hero!!" scowled ShintaroPete.

"I'll have to find other nefarious methods to strike back at those plicks"...As he slipped back into 'charlie' mode and abandoned tricky technology for the time being...

....Avlovaks had found him, although it was hard to tell what was slime and what was Pete...that's just the way the Murray is at the present time (and to think that after ShintaroPete's cheeks have been in it, Adelaide people drink it.

"You rotten twicer" said Turbo, racing to cut him off at the gully, but Shintaro threw a star just missing his left eyeball, and managed to get into the lowered Nissan Skyline with the 1" exhaust pipe connected to the 4" tail pipe.

The Nissan spun the wheels sliding to the left, then the right, then more top the left as Shintaro tried to shake the slime off the wheel, at the same time overcorrecting in his normal manner.

Turboskinner thew a cat at him and blocked the air intake, and the Nissan slowed to a stop.

There was Pete, mud sliding down his face, and his eyes rolling to the heavens because he realised that the real world champion fencer was Turboplanner, who was really The Highlander who was trained at using swords heavier than a Jabertwo, and he had it in his hand right now.......

998, 998, 998 - Tuboo's mind wandered, as it seemd to do these days back to the time his grandfather would always carry the shotgun hung on the back wall of the truck, and would frequently come home with several ducks. Too frequently as it turned out because he always handed them over to Tubbo's grandmother for plucking and gutting.

One night he came home with about half a dozen, and said "Here mum, got a few ducks for you to pluck"

"PLUCK 'EM YOURSELF" she replied quite uncharacteristically, and he got such a shock he dutifully got his grandson to pluck them.

A few days later they were back to cold mutton, and Tubo's Grandmother said "Haven't you seen any ducks lately?"

Tubbo's gradfather replied "Yes, a big mob flew over today actually, but I could hear their wings whistling "Pluck 'em yourself, pluck 'em yourself, pluck 'em yourself" and I couldn't pull the trigger"

And order was restored a few days later.....

Congratulations Captain!

You wouldn't believe it but I got a business call right as I was ready to press the button, but thanks to you guys, you've made me an addict, but you certainly learn some things......

Two..hoo...hooo...

Everyone was watching everyone, but Turbo noticed the beady eyed presence of Ho Ho Silver (Ho Chi Min in Pete's day) getting ready to pounce. He'd sharpened his reflexes up by doing touch and goes across his driveway (which had a few pot holes) all morning....

...notorious explorer rivalling Long John Silver in his exploits, and by the look of it developing a widening fan base, even though he has admitted to having a disease.

that was enough to set Turbo dreaming again, and he remembered Liquorice squares, a paper bag full of broken biscuits, so big and so cheap that he can't remember the price,

when you could buy a cray tail for BAIT for ten cents......

"You reckon that you are straining?" said the cat "How do you think I feel? Have you had a squizz at Pepe lately? He looks a lot like ...............

"....EmoticonPete."

At this exciting time where was EmoticonPete they all asked to loud sounds of "zzzz", "zzzz", "zzzz', ARRRGH! as Turbo kicked him in the Thong.

"Sorry mate, I'm a bit tired; I've been to the World Fencing Championship and the elimination rounds took a whole week." said FencerPete.

Turbo didn't believe him so he looked up on the web and sure enough thgere was the information, hundreds had attended, but according to the website the most spectacular moment occurred after the competition, which FencerPete, a trained killer, had actually won.

The trophies had just been awarded when a fly flew through the gathering.

The No 3 swordsman in the world drew his sword - Whhht went the sword, and the fly was cut in two.

Another fly buzzed through, and the No 2 swordsman in the world went whht, whht and quartered the fly.

A third fly came through and FencerPete flicked his weapon, but the fly kept on going.

“You haven’t killed the fly!†yelled one spectator.

“Ah, yes - the fly livesâ€, replied FencerPete, “but he’ll never be a fatherâ€.

BigPete had returned a hero.

"What was that about the garden?" he asked "Are you all picking on me again?"

So who was making that awful smell?......

No, said Aklovian, I mean 991 posts including strainers. I seem to strain a lot more often these days....

The sword is mightier than the pen is.

smiled, not knowing he was about to be skun....

Thanks Ozzie, been meaning to do that for years, but always seem to inherit another el cheapo set which don't work.

Don't worry about the disease Bigs, it's just leprosy.

I had a lot of trouble with CDI on the race car, always when attempting to start it, but it never failed once the engine was going. Didn't have an alternator, so the longer the race day the flatter the battery. It usually failed first thing so I put it down to needing 100% cable connection, which might explain why you got a dead result with the jumpers.

With the Jab, first flight of the day, if it's cold we hit the button with no choke, then very gradually pull the choke out until it fires. I've seen guys hanging around for an hour trying to get a Jab fired up. Then an instructor goes out when the sun is up (clever, those instructors) and it fires straight off the button, OR we often put a 240 volt heater under the Jab, then go and have a cup of coffee, and it fires with no choke.

...however, coughing and spluttering from his disease, Bungleworf rose above the indignity in his inimitable fashion and went back to answering fan mail.

Bungleworf had asked all and sundry to diagnose the disease (having seen some of the posts, Turbo wouldn't have done that), and Turboskinner who was a vet, or more correctly who had attended a Vet course, for the first lesson had seen this type of coughing and sneezing in cats, and diagnosed....fur balls....

...there was still no response from Chooka except "zzzz", "zzzz", "ZZZZ".

Turbo said the magic word "Bigglesworth!", and with a rumble OldPete came to the door.

He shuffled slowly down to the ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool..

After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.

The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'

'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'........

"......", ".....", "....."

"It appears he is taking his afternoon nap", or is that hammering I hear" said Turbo "hope he's not fitting an air compressor and the inflatable wing.......

Flying is simply the art of throwing yourself at the ground, and hissing.

Mind you Yenn, that's not all you see at a sewage farm!

Don't be cynical Redair, this seems to me to be a serious attempt at bring Australia back to the forefront of Aeronautical design.

Remember Bert Hinkler from Bundaberg?

You do raise an interesting point. Last years Solar car challenge from Darwin to Adelaide needed rule changes to limit the cars to the 130 km/hr NT speed limit, and they also required the driver to sit up straight, to reduce the horizontal area of solar panel.

That's serious power generation, and with the wing area and top of fuselage capacity of a recreational aircraft, it warrants some serious thought.

However, a friend and I decided we might enter one, but had to withdraw when we saw the electrical circuitry required. We were certainly too dumb to come up with a design, so anyone contemplating construction would need some sixteen year old tech school students to design and build the electrical side.

"saving himself for the Antiques Fly In BBQ, where the planes were antiques but the attendees were prime".

Meanwhile Turbo had noticedf the thread "Will it take off 2", and although this indicated that "will it take off 1" may have ended in tears, it seemed a brilliant idea, just squirting compressed air over the wing to fly.

You could even fly in your garage on a rainy, windy or, in the case of a Sczportszcar, sunny day, and theoretically you could fly out in the open, although it would need fast action when the cord pulled out!.

Turboskinner reassured Red Adair that his idea was cutting edge, and on behalf of the Board, offered a grant, and the option of using Victorian development facility, which in this case was BigPete's workshop (he was sure BP wouldn't mind). He thought his in turn may prompt Red Adair to apply his talents to more immediate problems of preventing certain aircraft from melting into the pavement, and others from rattling like a tin can full of stones. If you could go flying while paying your accounts or writing to Clients, all the better.

The story stirred Turbo's memory, which was never a good thing, back to the days when he was driving sheep down the Diamantina.

He met up with an old dogger (dingo trapper) and in the laconic matter of outback types, with the camp fire blazing and half a bottle of rum under the belt, they talked of times out in the bush, and the subject got on to pain.

"Ideveloped appendicitis out on the Murrinji track one night", said Turbo, "but with the aid of a full moon, my pocketknife, a piece of fencing wire and my sewing kit, I took the appendix out, stitched myself up and still delivered the mob of cattle on time"

"I'll grant you, that would have been painful, but one night when there wasn't much moon, I got took short, trotted off the track squatted down, and SNAP!!!, a dingo trap closed around me nuts" said tghe dogger.

"OOOOOOh! that must have been painful" conceded Turboskinner.

"Yeah, it was the second worst pain I've ever felt" said the dogger.

Turbo was astounded "What could POSSIBLY be more painful than that?" he asked.

"When I ran out of chain" replied the dogger....

Redair, we cannot let his brilliant idea go overseas. You should apply to the Catfund for a research grant, and use of development facilities in Victoria.

“ I can tell that your are of the Riverland because………

"You are yellow, as we all are due to washing in and drinking in Murray mud"

"That'll be 10 bucks" spat back Riverland Nana/mum/lass

"Prostitution is illegal on the NES" said SelfRighteousPete

"That's for the car wash" said Nana/Mum/Lass "What you do after that's your business"

KindHeartedPete wouldn't deny anyone a shower so he told her to get up into the back of the Ute, proceeded to Deniliquin, where the water was cleaner, and drove through the car wash.

As he was driving through, he thought "I'll give her a McDonalds and bus fare to Balranald, but that's that"

As he drove out of the car wash and looked in the mirror, he recoiled in horror. There, leering at him was BigWords......

Of course the compressor also makes a neat counterbalance - better than a prop which becomes an obstacle to work around, safer too.

This reminds me of the old Popular Mechanics projects like the flying car which had four fan jets providing down thrust. All the projects seemed very plausible, but never reached workable models.

Industrial Designers often go back to the very basics to see if there is a more efficient way of making a product.

If you put a piece of paper on a bench and give it a quick squirt of compressed air, it will lift.

If you can blow a stable cube of air over the wings which is higher and lower than boundary layer turbulence, and wider than the wing tip wash you'd be on your way.

That just requires solving the other two problems - making a compressor big enough, yet light enough, and solving the drag and weight problems of the paraphernalia required to create the stable airstream.

Of course you could use thrust to pull the aircraft through the surrounding air using a Rotax and a propellor.......

D Day when she finished up the most exhausted person on the Normandy beaches, not to mention the terrible sand rash.

It was said that the success of the landings was primarily due to her egging the troops on one by one; they didn't stop running until they reached Ste Mare Eglise, which loosely translated means Stuffed English Mare.

Some idiot yank said "Hey, that's so good you should sell it!" and so she did year after year after year until......

...bike, but not super any more, although when I roll in that Barmah Forest honey, I do get a wriggle on - have to beat the bull ants"

Turbo was distracted by the new website appearance. Quickies were back in but Captain, who is a descendent of Wyatt Earp was still too quick for him.

However Turbo had noticed that some people had put on new airs and graces. For example StartaBitFaster now had what appeared to be a velvet cushion underneath a photo which was so small Turbo supposed it was a segment of an orange until he got the magnifying glass out and saw it was some kind of aircraft.

"Oh well" he thought "maybe he needs it"

He'd also noticed the strap line "Flying is simply the art of throwing yourself at the ground and missing"

Turbo thought that was true, but not all of the people all of the time actually missed.

Wondering whether this might draw a line or two, Turbo turned back to Riverland Lass, the local bike and......

"How shall I thank you bloke blokes from WW" asked Tink "I know, I will ...........

"never call you a bunch of fairies again"

In fact his outboard had never run so well, starting ten times without hesitation, revving to 5000 until the neighbours complained - and they were half a kilometre away... buit he liked the gutsy sound.

He thought to himself "I think this is good enough now to put in the water", not realising he should have put it in the water before he started it.....

....answer your questions correctly since Turbospitter became lost after answering the question "How many people does a two seater have?, and he answered "four people" not realising there was a trick here and it was referring to a Grizzle, which eveyone knows is really meant for one person........however, it is alway entertaining to watch the wit of Wagga........