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Health and Safety Test


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My brother inlaw (Frans brother ) drove a petrol tanker for Shell for many years,until he retired a couple of years ago.


He told the story of the time he was asked by a safety inspector, " If you had a fire on the truck, what steps would you take? "


drive.gif.1181dd90fe7c8032bdf2550324f37d56.gif " Fu&*%g big ones, in the opposite direction", was his reply.


Knowing the guy well, I can believe it. 007_rofl.gif.8af89c0b42f3963e93a968664723a160.gif





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I loved those health and safety exams. I soon found out that you can't fail them.


I had to sit one at the TAFE to get a card to allow me on work sites, stupid questions so I failed. Told the person supervising and she said I must do it again, so this time I failed on purpose. She gave me the card. To allow me onto the power house site I did a course with a written exam. One of the questions was so stupid I told the person in charge that i wouldn't waste time answering it. Stil didn'r fail. From then on I made as big a fuss about all the questions as I could and never failed. When the railways had a quwstion about what had to be done to allow you to work ont the live high voltage lines, I just said you are not allowed to work on them. I am told they then changed the question to what you had to do to be able to work on the overhead lines. Of course it is easy for an old fart like me to stuff up the system, I was working in dangerous situations when most of the experts were in nappies and they knew it.



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Had to sit a Health and Safety exam and failed.One of the Questions was.


"In the event of fire, what steps would you take"?


F@#cK@#G big ones was apparently the wrong answer.

THE ANSWER IS OBVIOUS, Jim: In case of fire,you need speed, you need height, or you need ideas. 006_laugh.gif.0f7b82c13a0ec29502c5fb56c616f069.gif



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Part of the Crewies' job on Caribous was to stand outside with an intercom wander lead during engine start and monitor the engine, in particular, that big ol' exhaust augmenter.


When asked, "What will be the first indication of an engine fire during start-up?" One pilot was heard to say, "If I see my Crewie is 200 yards away, idly kicking pebbles, the odds are I've probably got an engine fire." 073_bye.gif.391d1ddfcbfb3d5f69a5d3854c2b0a02.gif



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