Windows versus Ford - a techno - comparison. . .

[Phil Perry]

Windows Versus Ford.

 

 

For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way

 

computers have enhanced our lives, read on.

 

 

 

At a recent computer expo in the USA, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated,

 

 

 

"If Ford had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we

 

would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

 

 

 

In response to Bill's comments, Ford issued a press release stating:

 

 

 

If Ford had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving

 

cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part):

 

 

 

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash.........twice a day.

 

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

 

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would

 

have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the

 

car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some

 

reason you would simply accept this.

 

4. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn would cause

 

your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to

 

reinstall the engine.

 

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable,

 

five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five

 

percent of the roads.

 

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all

 

be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation"

 

warning light.

 

7. The airbag system would ask, "Are you sure?" before deploying.

 

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you

 

out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door

 

handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

 

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to

 

learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

 

10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

 

 

 

PS - I'd like to add that when all else fails, you could call "customer

 

Service" in some foreign country and be instructed in an undecipherable language how to fix your car yourself ! ! ! !

 

 

 

[bexrbetter]

Surprisingly it still stands up true today even though it's a very old one.

 

 

[Phil Perry]

Surprisingly it still stands up true today even though it's a very old one.

Yeah Bex,. . . . . . but it makes me look good when I post crap old stuff like that, as most of the kids may not have seen it before, and may even think I'm a clever bloke ! ! ! ! !

 

Phil ( LOL - naturally )

 

PS,. . . I like the sideswipe at MAC technology, although, MAC is STILL the best for graphics production by far. . . . . .

 

 

[fly_tornado]

showing your age Phil, Gatesy retired officially in 2008. That's 5 years ago.

 

 

[Gnarly Gnu]

Yeah Bex,. . . . . . but it makes me look good when I post crap old stuff like that

We knew it wasn't yours Phil, no..... stuttering...... like this.... and bits like this! ! ! ! all the way.... through...! ! Funny still!

 

 

[Phil Perry]

We knew it wasn't yours Phil, no..... stuttering...... like this.... and bits like this! ! ! ! all the way.... through...! ! Funny still!

Curses Gnarly . . . . . foiled again !

 

When I find stuff like that . . . . . . . .. . . I normally add some stuttering. . . . . . here and there. . . . . . .so that people think it's. . . . . . . . original !

 

. . .sorry mate, I don't do it to annoy you, I just like a space for breath here and there, rather like speech,. . .to separate bits of text ! ( That annoys my friends on various chatroom too ! ! ! )

 

Phil

 

 

[Phil Perry]

showing your age Phil, Gatesy retired officially in 2008. That's 5 years ago.

True FT,. . . . But I thought that "Recent" could mean not long ago,. . .compared with, say the mutiny on the Bounty . . . .

 

Still relatively amusing all the same !

 

Phil

 

 

[M61A1]

Actually, on the aircraft I'm currently employed on, you can fix most of it's avionics problems by doing a "AC reset" (turning it off an on again), and pressing the illuminated "STOP" button, will start it.

 

 

[MarcK]

In my Toyota you press the Start Button to stop it

 

 

[Phil Perry]

In my Toyota you press the Start Button to stop it

I was offered a test ride in a newish Bentley and I could NOT find any keys, nor anything wich said "Start" on it. . . and the bloke gleefully didn't show me either ! I guess I'll have to email Jeremy CLarkson at Top Gear to see if he knows. . . ( Bet he does ! )

 

 

[Deskpilot]

I once had a Nash Rambler Wagon that had a key that turned it on, but no Start button.(unless you knew the secret) I used to have great fun mystifying people when we'd sit there chatting and discretely depressed the clutch pedal all the way to the floor and the engine would magically start up. Due to drivers in the US habitually parking in gear, this system prevented the car from lurching forward or backwards and killing some-one.

 

One day, I had trouble starting it and the start button, floor mounted under the pedal, over heated and burst into flames. I found that one from a combined harvester fitted perfectly as a replacement.

 

 

As an aside, I initially found the drivers seating position was a little uncomfortable. One bright and sunny day, I wound the window all the way down, propped my elbow up on the sill and twisted slightly in the seat. PERFECT FIT. Obviously another thing the yanks do out of habit.