Captain Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 Meanwhile Andy was scratching his head.....I don't recall seeing a lock/unlock button on my panel anywhere....but then there's a whole bunch of stuff on that panel that does and shows things that I have no idea about......Come to think of it I cant recall seeing a Lav anywhere onboard either......perhaps that cigarette lighter socket doubles as a............. .... lady." "But while there is certainly no Lav aboard, I am aware that Ratsack has gone involuntarily each time he has flown with me in the past" added Andy. "And while talking about thingies on my panel that mean nothing, what does ASI stand for?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 "......ASI" said Turbo......"what you see at the BNS. It was announced this afternoon that CASA have mandated lavatories in all Eecreational Aircraft. As Vlad from CASA explained "We'd look idiots if we mandated two people to be in the cockpits at all times, including Drifters, if there wasn't a lavatory, so this makes good sense, and......." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Andys@coffs Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 given that Turdy boy (nudge nudge wink wink!) is known to stink up a lav when No2's are involved we will be raising the Eecreational MTOW to 5700kgs immediately to provide for the said lav, its plumbing and its holding tank, the walls and complicated locking door and the obligatory hostie or 2 so that no pilot ever has to feel alone again! "But isn't that counter intuitive?", said Poxy Loxy, "wont 5700kg do more damage than 600 when it hits something?" Vlad the impellor looked to Boris, his caring and sharing strict liability offsider for a quick retranslation of the question....before answering...."Nobody here at CASA knows anything about counting Inuit's , and whats that got to do with anything?, Im thinking that stupid question deserves 20 penalty points and 2 cartons!" Fair point said Loxy, but 2 cartons is a bit rich, and in any event Rat............ Andy stood to his feet interrupting and shouted ASI stands for Ah SH!t indicator....sometimes you go so fast that your brain cant keep up and when that happens you've reached the speed when you just have to yell Ah........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 given that Turdy boy (nudge nudge wink wink!) is known to stink up a lav when No2's are involved we will be raising the Eecreational MTOW to 5700kgs immediately to provide for the said lav, its plumbing and its holding tank, the walls and complicated locking door and the obligatory hostie or 2 so that no pilot ever has to feel alone again! "But isn't that counter intuitive?", said Poxy Loxy, "wont 5700kg do more damage than 600 when it hits something?" Vlad the impellor looked to Boris, his caring and sharing strict liability offsider for a quick retranslation of the question....before answering...."Nobody here at CASA knows anything about counting Inuit's , and whats that got to do with anything?, Im thinking that stupid question deserves 20 penalty points and 2 cartons!" Fair point said Loxy, but 2 cartons is a bit rich, and in any event Rat............ Andy stood to his feet interrupting and shouted ASI stands for Ah SH!t indicator....sometimes you go so fast that your brain cant keep up and when that happens you've reached the speed when you just have to yell Ah........ ........AhLox has the same effect. Vlad the propeller commented "ASI is pronounced "ars*-y" which is what applies every time Andy makes a landing that he can walk away from, although many observers can't walk away from it as they are always doubled-up from laughing." "And that's something else we must stop" observed the CASA bloke who get's one (that he can't jump over) from being in control "There is way too much laughing going on in this Wreck Flying scene. We'll never be able to stop people at airports from laughing at HatShatter's landings but we can stop WreckReational pilots from laughing by .............. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 "Nobody here at CASA knows anything about counting Inuit's , and whats that got to do with anything?, Im thinking that stupid question deserves 20 penalty points and 2 cartons!"........ "Leave us out of it, mate" said AMAQJUAQ the Inuit who was from Kangiqsualujjuaq in northern Quebec, where the men are men and the seals are nervous. "We want nothing to do with your white men's CASA, who speak with forked tongue and fork everything up." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 "Qujuequa" said the FOI, as he scratched........................ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 "Qujuequa" said the FOI, as he scratched........................ ...... his Brazils. "Qwertyuiop" replied Amaqjuaq and immediately undid his ........... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Andys@coffs Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 keyboard looking for that illusive Tanami desert sand that was know to infest keyboards, jackacrikets and bullfrombone's scrotum...bit like...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 ...sealskin book of regulations to find out what that meant. Turbo was pleased to hear about the Inuits, aside from the fact that Hatso was descended from two cousins, because they taught him to fly. He read in a Boys magazine about one branch of the tribe who used an inflated bladder and briquettes to make a hot air balloon which they flew from ice floe to ice floe. Turbo bought one to use for duck shooting on the Bool Lagoon, and it was quite successful, although he was limited to two cases of cartridges due to the weight limitations. There were problems picking up fallen ducks over deep water because he could only fly downwind, and it used to drop to earth, or water, when you least expected it, so there was a ratio of approximately one mile flying to four miles walking - pretty much the same as today when you think about it, and..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 ..... the only saving grace was that it next came back to earth at Blue Lagoon, where Brooke Shields was all set to take Turbo to heaven and back. "Fasten your seat belt, TurdBoy" she said "And hold onto your ............ Brooke and Turbo about to go exploring, while Andy and his ducks are at a pond back in the bush.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 "...false teeth" "False teeth?" asked Turbo, and then he took a closer look. Ratso was never one to check the barrel before eating an apple, and rarely kept up with the times. His favourite experience would still be an night out wit Jane Russell, and Brooke's not much younger, as this photo shows. "Why can't you.............." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted April 4, 2015 Share Posted April 4, 2015 "...false teeth""False teeth?" asked Turbo, and then he took a closer look. Ratso was never one to check the barrel before eating an apple, and rarely kept up with the times. His favourite experience would still be an night out wit Jane Russell, and Brooke's not much younger, as this photo shows. "Why can't you.............."[ATTACH=full]34866[/ATTACH] ...... just accept me like I am?" lamented Nanna "And as you well know, there are advantages to being able to remove one's choppers, which I have been told, adds to the ........... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted April 4, 2015 Share Posted April 4, 2015 "Flavour when kneading dough for my lovely pastries. "Why don't you try one" she said, eyeing off Ratso in his new dinner suit, which he'd just picked up at Vinnes, and............. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bryon Posted April 4, 2015 Share Posted April 4, 2015 ........had been assured by the young saleswoman showed off his assets to the best Unfortunately, Elratsack was not to know that the assets she was referring to were....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted April 4, 2015 Share Posted April 4, 2015 .......the parts protruding from......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bryon Posted April 4, 2015 Share Posted April 4, 2015 ......under his..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted April 4, 2015 Share Posted April 4, 2015 ......... hangar in the bottom paddock at Chez RatsNest, where he and Ahlox meet on the outdoor mezzanine balcony of the hangar for a coffee and an apple turnover a couple of times each week to discuss all things aviation, with particular reference to WreckFlying, the latest developments in the squiggly bits on keys (where he still needs some help), whatever might be the best defence to AhLow's latest charges (why AhPox still insists on doing those things at the BOB is beyond me), and ......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted April 4, 2015 Share Posted April 4, 2015 .....why we drive all that way to sit on the balcony of an empty hangar when there's no runway (it's on Loxie "Bush Block" - 40,000 hectare section of scrub where there's no clear space to land a cricket ball), and no aircraft in the hangar, has never been explained by The Lox, who................ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bryon Posted April 4, 2015 Share Posted April 4, 2015 ......who thinks he is enigmatic, even though this puzzles the wreck flying crew who can't figure out who or what he is. Somedays they think he is just a......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted April 4, 2015 Share Posted April 4, 2015 ....... ghost of Christmas past, or a figment of Eeeeeen's imagination so as to keep control of the Moderatti, when in fact Tubb, Salty and the Rodent know that AhPox is actually a dark haired version of Chucky and his ........... BORN TO BE A MODERATOR. (AHPOX DURING HIS RED-HEAD PHASE). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bryon Posted April 4, 2015 Share Posted April 4, 2015 .......antidisestablishmentarian brethren who congregated at the BoB with Ahpox and Elratsack on a Sunday morn after vespers Most of the time they conducted Phil-e-sof-e-cul (NTTIAWWT) (not to be confused with Phil the Pairy from Cannock) debates on the meaning of liff, but then on every third Sunday, the discussion turned to the subject of...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted April 4, 2015 Share Posted April 4, 2015 .......... leafs, including the fine tuning of the transvers leaf-spring Corvette rear suspensions and other leafy matters, like why is Ahlox a tealeaf, & why can't Nanna ever leaf it alone for more than 2 hours, however 3 hours after vespers Salty got the vapours as he always does after a bottle of red, so he rolled onto one cheek and ............. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted April 4, 2015 Share Posted April 4, 2015 CLARIFICATION ........ CLARIFICATION ........ tealeaf ... (NTTIAWWT) .................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted April 6, 2015 Share Posted April 6, 2015 .......... leafs, including the fine tuning of the transvers leaf-spring Corvette rear suspensions and other leafy matters, like why is Ahlox a tealeaf, & why can't Nanna ever leaf it alone for more than 2 hours, however 3 hours after vespers Salty got the vapours as he always does after a bottle of red, so he rolled onto one cheek and ............. ...... applied full power which pressed him back into the seat and slightly blurred his vision, but instinctively he then left barrel rolled the Thruster down the centreline of the runway, before ........... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bryon Posted April 6, 2015 Share Posted April 6, 2015 ....he realised that it was not a runway as we (wreckflying pilots) know it, but a ....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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