The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

.... and identified the fish in the rainbow 5 streams as "Crap".

 

But then issued a general correction by rainbow smoke signals, that he had made a spelling mistake and that should have read "Carp".

 

"Oh Crap" said .....

Edited July 23, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

........the tribal leader Sitting bull. "They taste like Crap to me". but there were younger people in the tribe now who never used naughty words and they shouted him down. Sitting bull (no relation to our bull) said "Yous can all go'n'get ........................................"

 

 

[Captain]

..... knotted, using the bark from the sacred baobab tree, which was used by my rainbow ancestor mob to make the rope that Captain (respects etc to Uncle Crappy) Cook used to tie up the Endeavor in Cooktown, and it was little known that we then sponsored his trip to see the eclipse as long as he used our rope to promote it in NZ and the Islands, under our free no trade/no work agreements of 1740 white fella time. That rope was also used to define the boundary when we invented cricket in about 1067 white fella whacky calendar date.

 

These dates meant that.....

Edited July 23, 2023 by Captain

[bull]

48 minutes ago, Captain said:

..... knotted, using the bark from the sacred baobab tree, which was used by my rainbow ancestor mob to make the rope that Captain (respects etc to Uncle Crappy) Cook used to tie up the Endeavor in Cooktown, and it was little known that we then sponsored his trip to see the eclipse as long as he used our rope to promote it in NZ and the Islands, under our free no trade/no work agreements of 1740 white fella time. That rope was also used to define the boundary when we invented cricket in about 1067 white fella whacky calendar date.

 

These dates meant that.....

.....recovering an a380 with flannel was not the ideal solution ,So Bull decided to.................

[Captain]

1 hour ago, bull said:

.....recovering an a380 with flannel was not the ideal solution ,So Bull decided to.................

..... take up the issue with CT as it was he that considered that flanno is the ideal material to use when an A380 has had a bumb scrape (avref), as CT had previously tested it on his .....

Edited July 23, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

....own posterior and found it to be quite soothing when he used it in his next flight.

Meanwhile the bros hadn't been able to agree on any aspect of changing time, so they applied for a Grant to travel to Mexico and study Manana time. Albo said "Would half a million plus expenses be enough?" and they were off to Juarez, a known Manana hotspot where they were plied with Tequila by Rosita and Rosanna before .........................

[Captain]

..... experiencing the delights of the Mexican rainbow serpents that are stuffed into tequila bottles to .....

Edited July 23, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

....give it that extra kick, particularly when they bite your tongue on the way down.

"Why you call ich other Bro?" asked Ramirez; "Are you all from the same family?"

Before Jackson could answer, another Mexican, Sanchez chipped in with "You mother, she play?" and that's when the fight started............................................

 

[Captain]

.... because Jackson said "Don't you dare denigrate my Aunty Mum, as she plays the didg, the pokies, the .....

[Captain]

3 hours ago, Captain said:

.... because Jackson said "Don't you dare denigrate my Aunty Mum, as she plays the didg, the pokies, the .....

..... field (bullref ........ recumbentbull, not sittingbull), the .....

Edited July 24, 2023 by Captain

[bull]

19 hours ago, Captain said:

..... field (bullref ........ recumbentbull, not sittingbull), the .....

.............words spoken by old Aunty and mom down at the back bar of the pub got raunchier and raunchier, later that night they could be seen outside the night club singing ,,,,,,,,gigity gig.............gigity gig.......Ah whats that said said CT slurring his words after a session in the front bar of the same pub .  Now Aunty was on to him and..................

Edited July 25, 2023 by bull

[Captain]

..... started with the endearing phrase "Hey whitey, what you doing on my land, but if you pay me enough you can .....

[turboplanner]

..........climb the mountains.

By an unfortunate twist CT, now slurring badly mistook the land she was talking about and made a dive for her. This was an insult to the whole tribe and the normal penalty was a spear through the thighs, but on this occasion .................................

[Captain]

.... they thought it appropriate to circumcise him with an oyster & then treat it with a mix of Rainbow (c) brand chili & iodine,  before adding .....

Edited July 25, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

............a slave of chopped Stinging Nettle.  CT..................................

Edited July 25, 2023 by turboplanner

[Captain]

17 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

............a slave of chopped Stinging Nettle.  CT..................................

.... winced (although he would have preferred a salv rather than get involved in the slave trade), then found it strangely attractive, which made him think that perhaps he might be a .....

Edited July 25, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......Stinging Nettle addict, so he ........................

[Captain]

16 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.......Stinging Nettle addict, so he ........................

..... instructed his staff at DG International to plant nettles (for personal use only) between the 3 parallel runways, and not just your average grade 8 Stinging Nettles either. All 230 staff were disconcerted when he specified .....

[turboplanner]

.......BigN Nettles which were native to Botswana. No one was quite sure........................

[Captain]

12 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.......BigN Nettles which were native to Botswana. No one was quite sure........................

... how the CT knew about them.

 

Has he been using them between consenting adults asked bull rather innocently, but then 1trick said " .....

[turboplanner]

"I am a victim ofBigNNettles".

The room went quiet because Cappy, world traveller that he is had told mant stories about the Botswans, and how the Botswan women strangle their husbands in the middle of the night, and the Botswan habit of routinely running down tourists on the road to Gabarone, particularly the aggressive Afrikaaners from Pretoria and having a cookup on the side of the road destroying tourists and the habitat of species like the Mountain Gorilla at the same time.

"As you know, we in WA lead a sheltered life and still follow Queen Victoria's standards from putting frilly skirts on bare table legs to not understanding any of Cappy's jokes. I was flying around the world solo in a Drifter years ago, and had to put down in Botswana not far from the Skeleton Coast where the beggars had been eating sailors shipwrecked on the way from England to South Africa.

As I rolled to a stop a group of Botswan women started walking towards me carrying what I thought were bunches of celery.  I ..................................."

[Captain]

26 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

As I rolled to a stop a group of Botswan women started walking towards me carrying what I thought were bunches of celery.  I ....................

...... then realised that the so-called "bunches of celery" were actually hanging out of her .........

 

NO "CELERY" TO BE SEEN HERE

Edited July 26, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.....Avid flyer" [avref], and, friends, continued OneTrick, my mistake was to furtively grab a stick of celery from the aircraft.

At once a searing pain went through me as four Botswans grabbed................................

[Captain]

..... my control stick, and then the Avid Flyer .....

[turboplanner]

"......performed a dutch roll, and I had to stick both feet on the pedals and remember my lessons on secondary effect of control and by judicious use of my feet, one hand on the throttle and the other stuck out as a temporary rudder, managed to get the Avid under control.

With some practice I managed to get the Botsans off one at time and regain full control of the now empty aircraft and make my way back to Gabarone where one of the Botswan mothers slapped me with a piece of the celery, and I felt this excruciating pain all over, so I ..............."