The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

20 hours ago, turboplanner said:

..........the inevitable happened. Those were the years when the chassis rail repairers association would hire a sailing ship and take us on a three month cruise around the islands dropping in on all the hula shows and.......

..... as a result, many members of the association, known by one and all as the CRaPA, behaved like sealers/whalers from last century, where they jumped ship to sample the delights of the hula skirts, and as a result French Polynesia is now the centre of the world's blue singlet & stubby production, and the utes there have the finest chassis repairs that money can buy.

 

Turbine Seven Seas Transport recognised the intrinsic opportunity that this central Pacific nation offered to the trucking industry worldwide and broken trucks (many incorporating Tubb's own paper-thin chassis designs) are taken to FP, repaired and then .......

 

Repairs to such as this are a doddle throughout FP, and are done without taking the bags out of the tray.

Edited Friday at 08:15 PM by Captain

[Captain]

20 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.......saucepans and roast basters. It was all Turbo could do to get to the end of a Tylor Swift song without ..............

..... quickly foregoing Tylor's crappy songs and doing a full-on impersonation of his (Tylor's not Turbo's) sister Taylor.

 

The old folks went berserk with enthusiastic applause and several 90-year-old ladies threw their nickers & bras at Turbo/Taylor, one of which got stuck in the squeezy bit of his piano accordion.

 

Turbo winked at the pant-less 90-year-olds and noted down their seat numbers in his photographic memory, so that after the show he could take advantage of his .....

 

Turdy impersonating Taylor. He/she was a huge hit on the black web and on the retirement village porn sites.

 

 

Edited Friday at 08:14 PM by Captain

[turboplanner]

...songwriting skills to put on a double act with Tylor. He had to rewrite some of them though after one night when the accordian snapped on one of her ................

[Captain]

20 hours ago, turboplanner said:

...songwriting skills to put on a double act with Tylor. He had to rewrite some of them though after one night when the accordian snapped on one of her ................

..... more raunchy numbers and her left one was caught in the broken and sharp parts of the accordian's squeezy bit.

 

"It was merely a wardrobe malfunction" claimed Turbo/Taylor/Tyler as he sat down to rewrite his famous composition about the Harper Valley PTA, which was styled after the Parents and Teachers Mother & Son events at Moorabbin Primary.

 

It was at one of those events where Turbo had his sex education, and where the educator was dyslexic, so she told little Turbo to use the wrong bit and stick it into the .......

[turboplanner]

.....ceiling. Turbo has always wondered about Victorian Primary School teachers, but never said anything and Cappy's  story has got him thinking if he's been doing things wrong, or .......

[Captain]

33 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.....ceiling. Turbo has always wondered about Victorian Primary School teachers, but never said anything and Cappy's  story has got him thinking if he's been doing things wrong, or .......

..... perhaps Turdy's teacher was not dyslexic, and was just a dick.

 

So Tubb decided to contact his teacher again, who is now 96.

 

When Turds went around to see her she said "Boy sexy looking good a always were you, lad darling my Planner Turbo Ah" ...... but instead of just saying it backwards, Yoda like does, her dyslexia (aixelsyd) had taken a turn for the worst when she turned 40 (04) and she said "Yob yxes gnikool doog a syawla erew uoy, dal gnilard ym Rennalp Obrut ha".

 

"No wuckers" replied Obrut, tactfully, now .....

[onetrack]

......fully conversant with the Speaking Backwards Language. A lot of people have heard of the Navajo Code Talkers, who were Americas secret weapon during WW2, but few people are aware that Turbo's teacher was the primary instigator of SBL during WW2, and she was responsible for saving many Australian soldiers lives, by confusing the Japanese forces listening in to Australian forces radio transmissions.

 

Her unique language was taught in the Australian Army Signals Corp, thus resulting in a large group of people who could converse fluently in SBL. You can occasionally hear SBL being spoken in bars and hotels by people who've had way too much to drink, and it sounds like they're talking slurred rubbish - but people in the know (hint, hint), immediately recognise that language and speaker, and they deserve respect, not...........

[turboplanner]

because the can speak the edocb ut because they contributed so much to confusing the Japanese that after the war when they made friends with us and hung around the pubs picking up the code they branded the first cars with ..........

[Captain]

On 28/06/2025 at 5:04 PM, turboplanner said:

because the can speak the edocb ut because they contributed so much to confusing the Japanese that after the war when they made friends with us and hung around the pubs picking up the code they branded the first cars with ..........

..... ridiculously long names that were meant to confuse the Koreans.

 

Therefore, when you consider the model designation for the "Toyota GR Yaris RZ 17459 Rev 67 Version 12 High Performance Kalle Rovanperä Edition" you can see the connection to the Navajo Code Talkers, where Rovanperä is equivalent to our common as muck names, like Turbine or Smith or Track, and the Navajo Rovanperäs were well known because of their domination during the Navajo Wars, when they .......

 

 

Manuelito Rovanperä, the famous and brutal Navajo Chief.

He was also married to one of the more loose of the Turbine sisters from Okeechobee.

 

Edited 22 hours ago by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......fought, a Navajo always won; a 100% result, way better that today's lawyers when it doesn't matter how much you pay, one of them always loses.

 

It has to be said that the Japanese Navajo-based Codes kept the Koreans out of the market for decades, so clearly a smart marjketing move.

 

It was only when the Japanese learned to communicate in speech, that ..................

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

It has to be said that the Japanese Navajo-based Codes kept the Koreans out of the market for decades, so clearly a smart marjketing move.

 

It was only when the Japanese learned to communicate in speech, that .......

..... they realised the significance and meaning of the Navajo word "marjketing" which many initially assumed was the same as the similar in appearance English word, but then the Japanese tumbled to the folly of their assumptions and said "...... 

Edited 19 hours ago by Captain

[turboplanner]

Word not mean marketing" and fell about laughing but then froze in fear realising they would have to say the meaning in Australian (or Queenslander), and it.......

[Captain]

38 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Word not mean marketing" and fell about laughing but then froze in fear realising they would have to say the meaning in Australian (or Queenslander), and it.......

..... all needed to be translated from Navajo to Japanese to Aussie and then to Skippy Queenslander, and in particrurar then to the Bowen lingo, eh, of the Birri, Jangga, Juru, Gia and Ngaro peoples, eh.

 

"bring in the turbine ai translation service" said bull who was the most well versed in OZ in those native languages and had been providing data for The Turbine AI to learn from, so as a result if Turbine AI didn't have capitals or punctilliation, and scratched it's nuts a little too often, then who really cares, eh?

 

Turbine AI & Turbine Robots were very advanced examples of rogue technology, and had both tried twice to kill Turbo, but in this case they liked the challenge of a 7-way live translation challenge and they .......

Edited 16 hours ago by Captain

[turboplanner]

were forced, by the security system CamelDung II to tell the truth and not let their imaginations dribble. This system had been developed by Turbo when as a CIA operative he rode a Quad bike all over Afghanistan and (we probably shouldn't tell you this becuse it will be a secret for the next 30 years)  he issued a very short report Osama Bin Laden is not in Afghanistan. George Bush was able to use this information to go straight to Osama's hiding place and deal with him.

Turbo had found it always paid, when interrigating an Afghani to tie a rope around .......

[onetrack]

......the local goats, otherwise they'd not only eat the seat off the bike, they'd eat the tyres, too, then use the handlebars for toothpicks. However Turbo, being cluey about Aghani's and their goats as well, knew exactly what was required.

Another thing he knew, from long experience, was never turn your back on an Afghan goat, because quicker than you can say "Khyber Pass", that goat will be.............

 

Edited 7 hours ago by onetrack