The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

5 hours ago, turboplanner said:

When bull replied in the affirmative, the latter put down A$17 million cash on the table and said "We start in Chengzu!" and ......

..... that's the trouble with going into business with latters, because they almost always .....

[turboplanner]

.....start latter as their name iomplies.

However, entrepreneurs like Cappy OT,, Cappy, and even Loxie who pioneered working from home would simply ........

[Captain]

4 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.....start latter as their name iomplies.

However, entrepreneurs like Cappy OT,, Cappy, and even Loxie who pioneered working from home would simply ........

.... align themselves with the "Former" movement and ignore the "Latters".

 

However, Turdbro, ever the peacemaker and conciliation proponent found a way to combine the two groups by .......

[onetrack]

....calling them forlatters.

Not many people know that the forlatters are an offshoot of the bull tribal group, thus the use of lower case for their group name.

Just like bull, they also come from a long-established fishing background - mostly fishing for suckers to rip off mercilessly.

To this end, the forlatters had spent lengthy periods studying the Turbine Media Inc publications, many of which had curious titles, such as "How To Get Rich Quick and Not Get Caught".

The forlatters very quickly saw the benefits of studying these books, so it wasn't long before.....

[turboplanner]

Turbine Time Travel opened its doors.

With TTT you could be a former or latter, Inst. or Ult.

Need to make a post to crap on the person who just posted? Just Click this link (Note the link will not activate unless you are a paid up subscriber).

Some ......

[Captain]

16 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Turbine Time Travel opened its doors.

With TTT you could be a former or latter, Inst. or Ult.

Need to make a post to crap on the person who just posted? Just Click this link (Note the link will not activate unless you are a paid up subscriber).

Some ......

Crappy has used TTT extensively and has no hesitation to endorse and recommend them completely. 

Edited Friday at 06:26 AM by Captain

[Captain]

15 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Turbine Time Travel opened its doors.

With TTT you could be a former or latter, Inst. or Ult.

Need to make a post to crap on the person who just posted? Just Click this link (Note the link will not activate unless you are a paid up subscriber).

Some ......

.... members of Wreck Flying even paid TTT's exorbitant fees in order to go back & kill .....

[turboplanner]

.......time rewriting the bible by substituting Mao Tse Tung in favour of the Incumbent.

They seemed quite pleased with themselves, being unaware that ..............

[Captain]

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.......time rewriting the bible by substituting Mao Tse Tung in favour of the Incumbent.

They seemed quite pleased with themselves, being unaware that ..............

.... the Spratleys are the new Golgotha and they were designated to be the thief on either side.

 

Pontious-Turbo and his assistant, Biggus Dickus (OT), were now able to ......

[turboplanner]

......take control of the situation by pointing out the Wrath of  God would be aimed at Mao and any of his side-kicks on earth. Of course Cappy's mate was one of these and he was currently staying with - Turbo, OT and Cappy.

This was one of those situations where you can't lose thought Turbo, but ........

[Captain]

6 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

This was one of those situations where you can't lose thought Turbo, but .....

..... he got greedy, Turbo's one fatal flaw, and even after strong counseling from Cappy (Oh, dear NESers, if Cappy just had $10 for every time he has had to bail Turbo out of the poo), Turbo still insisted on .....

[turboplanner]

........charging Mao Tse Tung $350 per night. "I know he doesn't eat or drink and he leaves the place tidy, but it's the principle; Chinese (other than our mate Xi) have to pay..........

[Captain]

8 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

........charging Mao Tse Tung $350 per night. "I know he doesn't eat or drink and he leaves the place tidy, but it's the principle; Chinese (other than our mate Xi) have to pay..........

..... full fare or they'll see us as weak, which will then result in the domino theory being reactivated and professional mercenaries like Tubb and Crappy will get the call to remobilise, before ......

[turboplanner]

.........hand to soften up the troops as they did up the Khyber, although it would help if the British Army had deployed a year earlier. That was a long year for Cappy and Turbo, even with the odds at 25 to 1, and .......... 

[Captain]

9 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.........hand to soften up the troops as they did up the Khyber, although it would help if the British Army had deployed a year earlier. That was a long year for Cappy and Turbo, even with the odds at 25 to 1, and .......... 

.... with a critical lack of ammo .......... and women.

 

But Turbo and Cappy had each other, and Cappy was always there for Turbo, to change the dressing where Cappy had shot him (veryerkyperkyref).

 

That wound still weeps occasionally (sometimes even during Turbine Industries Board Meetings where Turbo always sits on a whoopy cushion), however with Turbo now involved in the Spratleys again he has been able to utilize natural Chinese medicines, so he had his batman prepare a balm made from donkey's and giraffe's testicules, and then shoved 1/2 a rhino horn up .......

Edited yesterday at 06:56 PM by Captain

[turboplanner]

........up the Khyber as they advanced. This sustained exercise and the Chinese herbs fixed the problem although not without extreme pain.

Turbine Aviation later sold this as an accessory for Thruster pilots with the tag line .......land like a feather; you have to!

It wasn't the first time Chinese medicines had been used by AUF flyers...........................

 

[Captain]

21 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

It wasn't the first time Chinese medicines had been used by AUF flyers......

..... as some of the lesser moral AUF flyers carried traditional pongy Chinese medicines to mask the smell of the Mary Jane that they were carrying instead of lead to get their W&B just right (and to relax fully if they ever got "weathered in", & didn't have the crash comic to read [among the cooler members of the AUF, this was called doing a "Willie").

 

Mary Jane is also a real AUF lady and she was, and still is, a well-known personality within Wreck Flying circles (avref), or even straight-&-level (anotheravref), and she holds the record for .......

 

 

Willie, doing a "Willie", when on tour in OZ and he was "weathered in" at Birdsville while flying his Thruster from Brisbane to Alice Springs (Willie had the big drop-tank option fitted and could do it non-stop in theory).

Edited 23 hours ago by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......the most posts on how to fly when you're ...................

 

Willie came to Melbourne and the concert before interval was what we were expecting, but the concert after interval clearly belonged to the group talking to themselves, trying to play guitars and making odd noises.

 

Edited 23 hours ago by turboplanner

[Captain]

1 minute ago, turboplanner said:

.......the most posts on how to fly when you're ...................

..... "Willie'd up", not that he ever got that far with Mary Jane, as she was a lady when she wanted to be, and he was always too ......

[onetrack]

.....intent on telling his war stories about his time on the Khyber Pass, and other exotic adventures that made Garrison "Gunslinger" St Clair, look like a pussy.

 

However few people knew the truth. Turbo had never been to Afghanistan, and he certainly wasn't a Khyber Pass veteran.

The Khyber Pass he often regaled tales about, was actually a small geographic feature outside Darraweit Guim, called Kybah Pass, located on one of the five rivers that ran through DG.

Turbo had been stuck there once, when he ran out of ammo whilst rabbit shooting - and the DG rabbits had surrounded him (they're pretty mean critters, those DG rabbits).

 

Turbo had to do a quick retreat back down the river before the rabbits kicked him to death, and buried him in a disused burrow.

But in Turbo's mind, this was the equivalent of real war, and he could play it, for all it was worth. He failed to mention how CT9000 came to his rescue in his CTLS turbo, and popped off the 600 rabbits that were threatening him, in the space of less than..............

[Captain]

9 hours ago, onetrack said:

But in Turbo's mind, this was the equivalent of real war, and he could play it, for all it was worth. He failed to mention how CT9000 came to his rescue in his CTLS turbo, and popped off the 600 rabbits that were threatening him, in the space of less than.......

...... 600 seconds as CT is a wizz with his bolt action Brno and using his 30 round magazines, where he had 20 of them lined up and taped together, like an ISIS fighter on speed.

 

The above is not to say that CT doesn't miss a few, but for every bunny that he misses with his hollow points, he pops in a Winny HS solid and ever so deftly drills 2 with that next one shot.

 

CT & Turdbro were so proud of their bunny eradication efforts that they posted the below photo on Wreck Flying and on the Bunny Hunter's Weekly News.

 

When OT saw it he was super impressed, but then he said "What's all that green stuff on the ground?"

 

OT's PA (named Pamela Anderson [Not Pammy from Bay Watch, but John Anderson's older sister]) then explained to him that .....

 

The Gate Houses, the Servant's Quarters & the Formal Garden at CT's joint, with the main house behind the trees in the background (access by invitation and security pass only). That white stuff in the paddock at right are all fresh dead cottontails.

Edited 1 hour ago by Captain

[turboplanner]

..........at this time of the year Darraweit Guim grew grass which was used to feed the stock, but it attracted all the bunnies from the poorer districts and slums like Daylesford and Kyneton and it was quicker to do the 600 second tap than try to herd them up and transport them to a wildlife shelter.

 

The only downside was the terrible smell, but it wasn't much different to that side of the city and CT could  get away with it every year.

 

Keen architects will notice that the outbuildings were designed by Sir Percy Cook, with his artistict flair that not one building lines up with another, not one road is straight, and the road from the living quarters to the church has  a long rectangular shape to allow walkers plenty of time to think up plausable excuses in their confessions.

 

Clearly immigrants have infiltrated the area based on that dirt short cut.

 

The Church still shows signs of the 1930s Depression when it was converted to a four-stand shearing shed, when wool was ..........