turboplanner

".............if yous don't put that canape bacon, we coming to git yer" (they were from Qld). CT looked down Calabria Avenue where the trees were lush and green all year round, and thought "I'll invite them all to a Ute Muster, then strafe the lot". VicPol got to hear about this and the Superintendent said "We've turned a blind eye to the constant gunshots from The Guim, but he outguns even our SWAT helicopter with its military grey paint job. "Leave it to me" said Inspector Debbie Doubtfire, "I ............"

Many people were taught low flying, but it ended as I pointed out above. My low lying was taught by the instructor flying us below ground level up drain and of course next flight I was low flying across a swamp and suddenly realised the nose wouldn't come more than half way up the row of pines across the bank of the swamp nd I was too close in to turn. One person killed himself on Christmas day by flying into his neighbour's power line in front of the waving children. Another at Nelson, Vic had a wonderful lunch with friends then decided to fly between tow hangars and burned to death in front of them. The new 500' AGL limit for precautionary and forced landings removed the excuses used above, but also would have been influenced by engines which didn't respond whether pilot mistake, carb ice, other during practice for foced landings and precautionarys.

Sorry, should have read: If a cable is under 500 feet........

Practice Forced Landings The PIC MUST not continue the approach below 500' AGL unless approach is to an airfield runway. Source: Part 141 Flying Training Operations. Practice Precautionary Landings Descent to 500'

Why on earth would we be silly enough to TEACH flying under 500 feet when our own statistics tell us that's where most powerlines are, and that's where there's little room for a recovery? The rule was introduced to give pilots a chance to avoid common accident.

A ten year old child has died.

Our interest in this case is the status of the Self-declared medical in the proceedings and any civil actions take by the relatives vs. the theoretical protection of the person in a similar type of aircraft accident. We will have to wait for the court processes to see what is significant, so won't get a clear picture for 2 or 3 years.

Well this might come as a surprise then. If a cable is not under 500 feet AGL a pilot flying legally will not hit it.

Is the cable above 500 feet?

.....he had sworn a sacred vow in Shinto never to reveal the secret, or part of it; the other part being a large and shining sword held by the Admiral. When he opened his little Honda Dealership it was the Admiral himself who came out and cut the ribbon, narrowly missing Turbo (the Admiral's eyesight was fading by then). Towards the end of the dinner the old Admiral with a few Sakis on board jumped up, yelled Banzai!!! and would have taken out half a dozen people with the sword if it wasn't for the fixed operations guy who snapped the sword in half with an adjustable spanner - they knew the Japanese weakness with metals. With the Admiral safely on the Qantas flight to Osaka, Mr Honda turned his attention to Formula 1, entering a Honda 600 sports car with a crew of 87; 83 of them being photographers. The 600 of course wasn't allowed to win, but by the time the weekend was over Soichiro, smart as a whip had a photo of every single component on every other car he had to beat, and went on to feature in ..................

......pinching tyres off Parked Zeros. It was something every Uni student did at Osaka. One night the Navy SPS caught Nob and Turbo carrying a Zero tyre down Sukiyaki Street and brought him before the Admiral. “We need those tyres” said the Admiral, “we’re going to attack Pearl Harbour Sunday week”. It’s funny how you can find yourself looking at history and....

........they were both students at the Osaka Eco-university and Nob had tied his girlfriend’s knickers to the flagpole. Nob had also.......

......said "That's a very clean hand Albo; now shouldn't you be catching a plane?" Albo had already started to run before he realised Turbo was just joking. He turned back but Turbo had gone ..........

........bacteria from the secret Chinese recipe. Turbo wasn't told this and after reading about it in Cappy's post gave them jobs for life as Cat Herders on the Farm. That's what he's like. Meanwhile, the Chinese Navy, impressed with Turbo's handling of their latest, secret (so we couldn' tell you about it) weapon, asked him if he could think of any improvements. Irritated at losing the last Lockheed Martin contract, Turbine (China) Aerospace was set up in the Spratleys and affectionately called the Skink Works by the Chinese who couldn't wait to leak the details to the US. Uncle Joe messaged Little Albo: You little XXXX, HOW did you let this happen? The Australian PM responded, "It's not my job to know everything that's going on; why don't you phone Turbo?" From the Pentagon the US Defence Chief messaged Turbo. International dimplomacy really is just like a game of pool. Within three minutes in a handshake deal, Turbo sold the Skink works to the US Defence Department for $730 billion. The concrete foundations hadn't even been laid. Big Albo .......................

A well-known Australian truckie went for a holiday to Macao and sneaked in to a strip show since, he thought no one would know him. The stripper picked him out from the crowd and got him up on the stage. From the audience, an Australian voice rang out "GO KNIGHTY!" This photo has triggered a similar story quite different to the one Cappy told. Sad Hunk, a well known Bahamas musician who plays the 44 gallon drum, is a good friend of Turbo's and for weeks had been sending newspaper reports to Turbo of the erratic journey of Cappy in his new multi-million dollar yacht sailing through the Bahamas (or more correctly bumping through). What occurred here was a sleek, Amphibious Ultralight was docked in Sunset Bay Marina and Cappy came charging in, tried a U turn, missed and took out the amphib.

In this particular case what came out in the Court today was that Vicroads only found out the driver had a medical condition when he applied for a truck licence and once that declaration went on the record it was applied to his car licence by Vicroads. So far it appears this may not be relevamt to what unfolded, but important information for the people who have been arguing for a truck licence medical (self declared) in preference to a Dame medical. It this was approved and someone decided to go for a self declaration medical then not declare it he's in big trouble, if he does declare it he's in middle trouble, but if a DAME approved him to fly and that was perninent to the case then the DAME would be the one who had to defend his decision rather than an unqualified pilot. In this case the operator knew he had a medical condition. His medical equipment gave him 9 warnings which he ignored and his medical condition appears to be the cause of the subsequent crash given that he needed immediate medical treatment on the spot, so we'll see the process and result in the Courts.

Self declared Medical A short time ago in Melbourne a driver who fatally struck five people and injured several others at Daylesford appeared in the Magistrates Court charged with 5 counts of culpable driving causing death, 2 counts of negligently causing serious injury, 7 counts of reckless conduct endangering life. The driver was an insulin-dependent diabetic who needed immediate treatment at the scene. With a Self declared Medical you are on your own without the statutory protection of someone like a DAME, so the outcome of this case will be of interest to those thinking of going down the self declared route.

.............and there, down below, crystal clear in his conscience was the runway. "Maybe I better land longwise this time" he thought, but was interrupted by a puff of smoke as a missile was taken out by the on-board loyal wingman. As he got closer he saw below him the Australian ship HMAS Toowoomba, throwing every thing it had, which wasn't much, at him. He was in Chinese waters, the shoot was illegal and it was Australians shooting Australians or at least one Australian. He knocked out both anchor winches and the rudder; there never had been any love lost between the RAAF and the RAN anyway. He flew around at sea level for a while to confuse everyone then quietly landed back on the Chinese field. Ginga Din greeted him with .......................

.... flew a tight Carrier Circuit and greased the Corsair onto the huge runway. It has to be said that in normal Chinese style the runway had been built by Chinese and the rippling nearly knocked his teeth out but soon he was surrounded by a sea of Chinese pilots clapping in applause. The keenest of them was a short guy with crew cut and acne who put a garland of tropical flowers around his neck so Turbo said "Take her up" The litte Chinese jumped up onto the wing, settled himself, the Corsair coughed into life and he was gone; straight down the runway and over the horizon in the direction of Beijing. Turbo realised he might not have made the smartest decision, but 15 minutes later there was the Corsair doing a slow roll at ground zero, followed by the neatest landing. The little Chinese pilot whose name was Gunga Din was beaming from ear to ear, and cautioning him that he was about to see China's newest stealth figher so he couldn't tell any secrets, like the-ver-the horizon "Invisable Shield (IVIZ) or on-board coffee-maker, he said to Turbo "Take her up!" Turbo smoothly lifted the aircraft off, pointed the nose straight up. At 10,000 feet he could see that Cappy hadn't fixed the fence at the Compound, at 100,000 feet he could see Canada and at 200,000 feet he decided that was far enough. Not sure of where he was, Turbo ..................

.......bronze in the afternoon sun. Turbo could see them applauding so he did a low level inverted Immelmann with a half twist (not many people even know what that is). "Why we fighting helos like Trubo?" asked the Commander after he had checked around for any Beijing dudes. And they all looked around ................

....while it is always nice to be recognised, like a Medal of Honour recipient in the Battle of the Bulge, he prefers the quiet life feeding his pet croc and the reef sharks from his surf board on White Pointer Island in the Spratleys. When the reef sharks start to get vicious he just fuels up the old Corsair and bombs the crap out of them and a week later all the fish and chip shops in western Sydney are advertising Gritty Flake, so self funded flying. On one mission he got a litte close to the Chinese base, and just for a laugh dropped one near the Officers Mess. There was a rush of ................

RC aircraft have a much greater power to weight ratio than the real thing so things happen a lot faster. This is a first flight so there may be bell crank changes, but also some pilots are better than others at modulation, and some are not trying to imitate real flight appearances.

"....skilled at the typewriter or kind to Quokkas" The instructor preened and blushed and said "I am! would you like a lesson?" Turbo had been told about these old clunkers, and should have said "No" but he ...............

....say "looks like we have a positive here nurse, can you check this please?" Fingernails can hurt, and just when you start working out your Will you here, "Nah, he just eats too many pistachios." It was after one of these episodes that Cappy decided to join a Health Farm. There were the usual tractor rides, carrot gardening and feeding the chooks as you'd expect but what intrigued him was the "Learn to fly in an ex CASA FiO Percival Proctor OME. (Shown below is OME on the farm). The instructor was ..............................

.....could expand into Anti-CASA Smoke Cannisters, FiO Detectors, Ramp Evaders, XXXX CASA T shirts and stuff. It was while wearing one of these just for a laugh that Turbo taxyed round a corner straight into a Ramp Check.........