Captain
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Everything posted by Captain
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Crappy congratulates Turdbro on this post. Ten paragraphs are unheard of in the NES, which is normally short, sweat and concise. However, a ten-para tome (TPT) is fairly normal for Turdy when he has his tail up and is lecturing in WF on an aviation technical detail, custom or practice to dispense his pearls of wisdom. The NES is lucky to have his contributions, as is WF more generally.
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Solly's 1st mate was Wes Pap-ua-smear. Because all of the Torres Strait Islander flags were down in Cantberra covering up the Aussie National Flag at press conferences. ..... coiled Eastern Brown, but Cappy and his trusty shotty full of SGs, although it also crossed his mind that taking on the Aussie Govt, just to protect bull, was not one of his best ideas. But then the danger was over, as bull had sent the crew and Captain of the Harry Holt $1,000 each plus a 5 kg bag of uncooked prawns, although that smell of prawns reminded them of ...... Cappy looked like a big version of this as he prepared to protect bull.
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..... not to mention the 45-minute meetings in the street every 90 minutes, while having a durry outside the workplace. It is a sad commentary that some of those white things in CT's right-side paddock were fag-end filters chucked out there by the servants, as well as the dead Peter Rabbits. bull, like Turbo, had been a dedicated smoker, but his chain smoking of Winston Churchill type cigars almost broke the ....... A young bull showing off his chain-smoking habits. (They must have had AI, even back then in Bone, which is strange as Telstra have just released dial up in that region).
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...... a pound per pound, and Straya had the 2nd highest living standard in the world. And then the Jimmy Grants turned up and started to take short cuts just like Turbo has described. That shortcut in the previous photo is dry, sandy & inhospitable, just like WA. The above then saw the implementation of the Dusky Brown & Speak any Lingo Australia Policy (Known by the middle and working classes as the DB&SALAP), which was used to ..... This photo shows a typical dry sandy shortcut as created by Jimmy Grants, which reminds everyone of WA, who have been forced to go over there. An interesting extra statistic is that not one Mextorian who was forced to visit WA has ever been back a 2nd time, Turdbro included.
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...... 600 seconds as CT is a wizz with his bolt action Brno and using his 30 round magazines, where he had 20 of them lined up and taped together, like an ISIS fighter on speed. The above is not to say that CT doesn't miss a few, but for every bunny that he misses with his hollow points, he pops in a Winny HS solid and ever so deftly drills 2 with that next one shot. CT & Turdbro were so proud of their bunny eradication efforts that they posted the below photo on Wreck Flying and on the Bunny Hunter's Weekly News. When OT saw it he was super impressed, but then he said "What's all that green stuff on the ground?" OT's PA (named Pamela Anderson [Not Pammy from Bay Watch, but John Anderson's older sister]) then explained to him that ..... The Gate Houses, the Servant's Quarters & the Formal Garden at CT's joint, with the main house behind the trees in the background (access by invitation and security pass only). That white stuff in the paddock at right are all fresh dead cottontails.
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..... "Willie'd up", not that he ever got that far with Mary Jane, as she was a lady when she wanted to be, and he was always too ......
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..... as some of the lesser moral AUF flyers carried traditional pongy Chinese medicines to mask the smell of the Mary Jane that they were carrying instead of lead to get their W&B just right (and to relax fully if they ever got "weathered in", & didn't have the crash comic to read [among the cooler members of the AUF, this was called doing a "Willie"). Mary Jane is also a real AUF lady and she was, and still is, a well-known personality within Wreck Flying circles (avref), or even straight-&-level (anotheravref), and she holds the record for ....... Willie, doing a "Willie", when on tour in OZ and he was "weathered in" at Birdsville while flying his Thruster from Brisbane to Alice Springs (Willie had the big drop-tank option fitted and could do it non-stop in theory).
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.... with a critical lack of ammo .......... and women. But Turbo and Cappy had each other, and Cappy was always there for Turbo, to change the dressing where Cappy had shot him (veryerkyperkyref). That wound still weeps occasionally (sometimes even during Turbine Industries Board Meetings where Turbo always sits on a whoopy cushion), however with Turbo now involved in the Spratleys again he has been able to utilize natural Chinese medicines, so he had his batman prepare a balm made from donkey's and giraffe's testicules, and then shoved 1/2 a rhino horn up .......
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..... full fare or they'll see us as weak, which will then result in the domino theory being reactivated and professional mercenaries like Tubb and Crappy will get the call to remobilise, before ......
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..... he got greedy, Turbo's one fatal flaw, and even after strong counseling from Cappy (Oh, dear NESers, if Cappy just had $10 for every time he has had to bail Turbo out of the poo), Turbo still insisted on .....
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.... the Spratleys are the new Golgotha and they were designated to be the thief on either side. Pontious-Turbo and his assistant, Biggus Dickus (OT), were now able to ......
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.... members of Wreck Flying even paid TTT's exorbitant fees in order to go back & kill .....
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Crappy has used TTT extensively and has no hesitation to endorse and recommend them completely.
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.... align themselves with the "Former" movement and ignore the "Latters". However, Turdbro, ever the peacemaker and conciliation proponent found a way to combine the two groups by .......
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..... that's the trouble with going into business with latters, because they almost always .....
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..... using turbine accounting to provide a shelf company, which bull then converted to a testamentary trust and changed its name to "bull's cunning stunts", after which he negotiated to provide a job-lot of aerial performances at each and every country show in the nation. bcs became a household name in regional stray-ya and bull was for a considerable time more famous that jimmy sharman. but for bull, this was just a means to an end, as he also had his heart set on ..... please note the lack of capitals in this post, which has been done as a tribute to our mate bull, who is a bit of a cunning stunt, himself.
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..... be drawn into the whirlpool that is bull's life story, the tale about which has been .....
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.... as if he had told them about his affairs with Soph, or Princess Grace, or Maggy (Winsor, not Thatcher) or Elle, the boys and boyettes at the BOB would have called him a bull ......
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.... whoever is standing beside him, one of whom was Sophia Loren. Sofe, as Cappy knows here after their decade long affair, said "Is-a dat a shotty in your duds maaate, or are-a U-a just-a pleasa to ....... Sofe at about the time that she and Cappy were an item, and Cappy was just "of-age".
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..... when Alastair bed Linnen McCracken (his correct name on the Hamas employment contract) saw what Cappy produced, Alastair considered asking Cappy to join his Rape Gang, but then thought better of it as Cappy's regulation Muslim beard looked pathetic and halfhearted, plus he was circumcised and that always causes a bit of an issue in polite Muslim company, when .........
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..... , whipped out his sawn off. The big 8 is little recognized here in French Polynesia as the insignia of those that are approved to carry an under and over 12 gauge down their dacks, and with Cappy having cut his down to match the length of his ...... About the right length. What the 8 looks like in action, just before the lights go out.
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..... coconuts, mangos, limes, & nubile young grass skirted hip shimmyers, but not ......
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..... had the necessary photos taken so that he could be featured in the Civil War mini-series, then he took his licks in the Indian Wars. Cappy Cook VIII, on the other hand, buggered off asap to Tahiti (where Cappy is now BTW), to trade nails for .....
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..... a "Don't tread on me" movement in Tasmania under the below flag, that matches the Rebel South from the American Civil War, which would set the scene for the Skippy Civil War (SCW) along the Rio Murray, with Tasmania and Vicmanistan teaming up. Their choice for the equivalent of General Lee would obviously be ..... It actually originated during the US War of Independence, but don't tell anyone that the NES may have strayed from the facts.
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Crappy congratulates bull (now Bull) on his new keyboard and looks forward to seeing a plethora of Capital LeTtErS as Bull continues with his POSTS. It is also great to see that Bull is a doyen of the fishing & trawling industries, and like Turbo + OT, the staff that worked with him/them sometimes considers him/them to be a complete a.hole. Crappy, on the other hand, has always been beloved by his hundreds of staff.
