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Captain

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Everything posted by Captain

  1. .... welcomed, during his present State sponsored visit to Tahiti, where he attended the Bastille Day celebrations yesterday, and he was bombarded by a group of nubile Wahinis as shown in the below photo. Cappy, like his ancestor, was always the complete gentleman and didn't even .....
  2. ..... she fell under Turbo's wild, animalistic & sexually ingratiating spell, Cappy became outrageously jealous, even to the extent that Iolani's talents & prowess had the potential for Cappy to fall out with his half a century long best mate and combat buddy. But then Cappy realised that to fall out over a mere Princess would ......
  3. .... however there were 2 immediate issues, as Kelly Turbine Surfboards had sold the Chinese five million 5 ft 6" long triple fin boards that were more suited to use at St Kilda beach, and didn't work as intended at the Pipeline, and each one was imprinted with the words "From the volcano's lava field to the sea (about 3 ft) Hawaii will always be free" which caused ructions with the Peoples Front of Hawai and the .......
  4. ..... when considering Chinese political strategies, always give additional weight to the enjoyment & "Let-their-hair-down" aspects of any moves that are made. "It is irrefutable that the 5 million blokes and blokettes in Chinese uniform want & need great dollops of fun and to have a fleet surfing contest ahead of the Pipeline Masters would be just the ticket to become happy future warfighters". Qi himself is a goofy footer with a Kelly Slater like bottom turn .... and 5 million surfboards make great camouflage cover for the fleet. (They even cheated by towing, then allowing, their best 500 surfers to ride the wash from their aircraft carriers, which is strictly forbidden in the rules of the Pipeline Masters & the Eddie Ikau competitions). Sure, to have the entire Chinese fleet parked off the North Shore and chucking their food wrappers overboard may be a bit intimidating, but hey, to make a #64 Moggie Omelette you surely have to break a few .......
  5. Wow Johan. That is fascinating and the NES has been crying out for a dissertation, in comment form, about BDSs with BoPm's.
  6. No Johnboy, Cappy was down in Argentina to quell an insurrection of shirty Bolivians, which is the type of work that Turdy and Crappy have been doing since Vicky asked us to sort the Khyber out ("The Khyber is a pain in my arse" Vicky had said, via Winston Churchill who was just another pushy bloke, as Turbs & Cappy saw him whenever they were playing up while on R&R in Londiniam). In this case Tubb was committed to sorting out the Spatleys and Cappy was suppressing the Bolivians, plus giving all of Javier's chainsaws a tune up (Cappy has the highest tune up qualification from Husqvarna). As it turns out, Turbo had misinterpreted Qi's intentions and the fleet were just carrying the Chinese surfing team (Kowabunga Dude) who just wanted a bit of practice ahead of this year's Pipeline Masters.
  7. .... nobody could explain the Chinese surfboards that bedecked the Chinese fleet ..... except Cappy, who was down in Argentina helping Javier, and Cappys reasoning went something like this, .....
  8. ..... you are attempting to create a Black-Swan or False-Flag event, so as to distract from the ......
  9. .... the rated size of the Cheezel that results, ..... after cooking. The Cheezel factory was owned by .....
  10. ..... , he packed his circumcision kit, gave the Sling the berries (even though it was not fully warmed up yet) and because he had no windsock, he had the perfect excuse to take off downwind with 30 knots on the tail, which he had always wanted to do. The Sling 2 handled it beautifully and as he soared into the ...... Has any other NESer noticed the report today about a Perth businessman laundering a heap of Money for the Coffin Cheaters 1%er motorcycle maniacs? This has all the hallmarks of a Turbine Banking Corp and OT financial scam as they have both been cheating the coffin for several years and both have about 1% left of their original hair. Let me know if you need a pro bono Barrister, OT. Below is the very Izmel that Turbo used for his mammoth session referred to in previous posts, including the ladies.
  11. Cappy notes JWs last 2 comments with vibrant interest. ..... international religious incident, being the 1st time that the Muslims near Turbo's nip and tuck operation have ever been upset about anything, because it turned out that 5 of them were actually women and Turbo failed to pick up the difference when his knife was slashing and flashing, & he ..... When Turbo is remunerated on a per circumcision basis, that is a recipe for bits of skin to be falling like confetti, be it male or female.
  12. And he has a blunt knife + 47 circumcisions to complete by noon.
  13. ...... a chord with Turbo, and then himself, when he asked "Have you noticed that things have started to go wrong in the NES since JW has made his appearance, because here we have had issue with lost jockeys (known colloquially as a "Munchkin Convention"), so what do we do if Johan's family actually do have had a background of Nasty Nazi-ness?" Turdboy, who is actually the de-facto leader of the NES ..... and is also a Rabbi .... took this issue pretty seriously and he ...... Below please see a video, which is the spit of the way Turbo gives his sermons during his periods of Rabbi-ness.
  14. ..... a long flight but it would be complicated, because he had been hired to ferry one of Turbo's many P51 Hurricanes to the Bedouri Air Races, which Turbine Marketing had licensed from Reno on the promise that at Bedouri nobody gives a rats about fatalities and the rules will require all aircraft to fly 150 m lower than in Reno. As part of the promo, Turbo said "If we don't see willy willies caused by wing vorticies at every turn, there will be .....
  15. .... joining AOPA, where he would be encouraged to fly with that finger up his .....
  16. ..... wonder about his .....
  17. Jawohl Johann. But please allow Cappy to fill you in on a couple of issues, as your enthusiasm is admirable. Over the years, some general conventions have been developed within the NES that have worked well with our thousands of readers, particularly those overseas that are language challenged (or bombchuckers who write backwards), the former of whom may include some of your rellows who are sitting at the moment drinking schnapps and liebfrauwein in The Berghoff in the Andes. The 1st is that comments are mostly written in italics so that stewed ant pilots don't get too confused. The 2nd is that all contributions to the Never Ending Story commence with .... , continue on in some manner from the previous brilliant contribution from one of our authors, and then end with ..... to allow the next Rhodes Scholar to follow on with his or her (NTTIAWWT) contribution. The 3rd was that punctuation and capital letters were an essential part of the exercise, but that rule was chucked aside to cater for one of our most faithful and most valuable contributors who had come through the Nth Qld edumacation system and was having difficulties, as the QES computer that he was given as a kiddie had no caps keys nor any punctilliation keys that worked. The 4th is that this is the Never Ending Story (NES) ...... and not the Never Ending Comment (NEC), so gird your loins young Johan and we look forward to whatever contribution you might make. PS Sorry to hear about the Cessna, but keep trying and you are welcome here anyway.
  18. ..... but then again, ..... Cappy notes that verbosity is well received in the NES and further notes that JW is likely to give Turbo's tomes a bit of a punishing.
  19. NOTE TO OUR HUNDREDS OF NES CONTRIBUTORS - Please use care and restraint with your Cessna jokes now that John W has joined us .......... or at least until Cappy can check the files in Argentina to see whether John is part of the SS Werners, or that other Werner family tree who were less extreme. bull ..... John is from Tasmania. Do you know him? And can you attest as to his suitability for the high demands of the NES.
  20. .... where Margot Fontaine was well known for liking a bit of pork on her fork, and Rudy could do wonders with a quart of vodka, a rather large diameter seasoned pork sausage, a full dip plie, and a gasp ......
  21. .... until a New Zulander was looking to buy a mine in WA and was down in the grotto. "Hung on thur" he said "Thut's an unforguttable odor from my expurimental youth down in the buck padduck, and thus changes all of my preconcuptions about .....
  22. ..... salting, hence the 12 gauge shottys that brought a roaring trade for OT when he would hire them to mine owners near "end-of-life" after he had already made a handsome killing from hiring his hundreds of equipment items. For $5,000 per cartridge, OT would also provide cartridges pre-loaded with pure gold pellets that he had ..... A classic western aphorism commonly attributed to Mark Twain defines a gold or silver mine as a hole in the ground with a liar on top.
  23. This post, Dear Readers, has gone viral on Chinese social media, as billions of Chinese, who had grown tired of the bland taste of Pangolin & rice, are now rejuvenated by the prospect of the pangolin meat being basted with the rich taste of blackberry. This has also generated a new line of Chinese gastronomy as many in Inner Mongolia are also excited about the possibility of Pangolin in a Sambuca & cream sauce. Franchised restaurant chains are already being planned, and shares + futures in Maccas China have slumped.
  24. .... WA, where they believe in even more freedom and even less currency, because in WA they .....
  25. This shows the pull and standing which that Clinic must have had with the forearms (gunref) industry, where they were happy to develop an entirely new caliber just for one user. It must therefore be part of the Turbine Clinics and Hospitals organization, as on checking, that caliber has been registered to the Turbchester/Turbine and Wesson firearms conglomerate.
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