Captain
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Everything posted by Captain
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..... also without the natural, inbuilt and inane respect that comes from capital letters, plus even when he stood 2 metres at the shoulder, dopy Hobartites and Mainlanders that were visiting the SW to see what all the Frankin hubub had been about a few years ago (some even asked whether our beloved bull might actually be Bob Brown in normal clothes) thought that bullie was just a big dog and would throw sticks & tennis balls for him to chase, in which case he would just ......... What city folk thought bullie would look like and why they threw him sticks and balls. What bullie actually looked like when he grew up. (You can still see the mark from the Thru-bolt on his left side).
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For those with little knowledge of our stalwart NES contributor, bull, he owns most of the SW quarter of Tasmania, including the Franklin Dam, which he uses as a duck pond and water feature for his mansion and private zoo, where the elephants & hippos love the dam water.
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..... the thru-bolt hit him on the side of his calf .......... which was sitting in the passenger's seat & looking forward to life on bull's expansive property in Tasmania. It was a bull-calf too, and bull had named him .....
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..... the one headed bull, a rarity in Tasmania, took the Tasmanian flag and shoved it .....
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..... spoke about the thrill of having the wind whistling up the leg of his Stubbies (for our international readers, Stubbies are a brand of fly-less short legged trouser or pant, and this reference does not refer to the dimensions or proportion of what he has within them). Jackaroos sold well in Greec as a result, and after one flew the length of the Corinth Canal while just 4 ft off the water, the .....
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...... took a lead from Scorates and his story of the Iliad (even though Homer claimed the copyright, we all know that Scorates wrote the 1st & 3rd drafts) and decided to test just what dastardly transgression the C-C Free Pass would save him from. So Turbo chose to he push the C-C Free Pass boundary by ....... Scorates (the bloke in the grey hair that looks like Turbo in his younger days) and Homer (the bearded dude that looks a bit like a young bull) having a chat about the flow of royalties from the publication of the Iliad and of the film rights (less George Clooney's appearance fee). This chat soon turned into a nasty blue that caused the death of the early Ultralight movement in Greece when Homer yelled, in frustration, "They are not real aircraft, and medicals are essential to aviation safety" and this was seconded by both Pythagoras and Leonard de Vince.
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While Crappy is happy to similarly acknowledge Ahlo's invaluable contributions in getting the NES up to its current international subscription level, it is also a fact that a recent Inquiry by the Wagga community has found that at least 6 houses burnt down, and 4 cute puppies died while stuck in hot & locked parked cars, during times where Ahlox was composing some of his NES tomes.
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...... chaps and subdued pastel leather vests. In a similar manner to "Dykes-on-Bikes", the Henty chapter are known as "Chaps-in-Chaps" and just like the DoBs, always without undies (erkyperkyref). The CiCs are also part of the CommonCherios and the Banned-Eat-Ohs and all had to take up dual Labanese or middle eastern citizenship .... like Western Australians, Mextorians and Tasmanians have the same dual citizen requirements if they want an Australian passport. The Wagga branch of the Cough-in-Cheaters were at the BOB that very night wearing their little blue Fauci masks to intimidate the crowd, and they .....
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..... as yet publicly unreleased hit "Midnight Oil Changes on VH aircraft are best completed by a LAME" ......... and Peter Garrett gave 100% of his parliamentary pension to the families of the kids that were killed in the pink batt debacle. The BOB and Steve-of-Loxley (for those new NES members, Ahlocks was one of the pioneers of this now massively internationally popular NES genre, and he flew a converted beer-can) were rocking to Pete G's gyrations and the ladies in the house that night were the senior teams from the Tumut & Coolamon Netball Clubs, so the night was off to a ......
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..... with transvestite tendencies and limp fins. It is relvant to recall that the Blue Oyster used to have a "Sailfish half price" night each full moon, when it became normal to .....
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.... other oversized .....
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..... squeeze of his oversized .....
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..... who pushed bull up against the wall using her full and ample body, perhaps a little too forcefully and with perhaps too many oscillations (avref) and a little too much gasping ...... however bull was used to this type of thing as he has always been seen by the female of the species as highly desirable in a manic physical sense. "Why have you used a capital letter on your Uppers pocket?" asked Doubty (when she had finished with the other as mentioned above), who found this to be quite suspicious, given that NSW Police Intel had identified that bull and never pushed a Caps key in his many years since inception. bull scrambled for an answer as he moved away from the wall, with his knees still trembling, and he said ".....
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.... taking lots of other meds, including quite a few of Tubb's usual uppers and downers, which he learnt to manage (and enjoy) when long distance trucking while testing his various designs of chassis mods (Turbs needed lots of uppers back then, when his trucks broke down due to HT cracks). The AUF shindig really went into high gear when Turbo prescribed (he is a medical professional and not a dealer) small amounts of uppers to the ...... I hasten to add for the benefit of any new NESers, that my close mates Turbo, Onetrack and bull have never needed to use drink spiking drugs as the ladies, and some trannies, can't get enough of them when they are out on the town.
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...... FMDs, BMDs, YAAD-S, WACs, and the occasional ......
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..... realization came over him that becoming Jack Newton the 2nd was not a good idea. Cappy moved like a cross between a gazelle, a panther, a pit viper and Dan Andrews, which meant that he was Teflon coated and untouchable, so he saw each sweep of the prop in slow motion and was able to duck, dodge and weave, then dance like Mohammed (Ali, not the Hamas prophet) to reach in and flick off the ignition switches. The engine stopped, the crowd applauded and Cappy, ever modest and unassuming, said "........
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.... part of a medley of songs performed at the AUF Annual Fly-In by the Narromine Senior Citizens & Retirement Village String Band under the very clever title "Songs of the Rotax Gearbox and Jabiru Thru-Bolts"), so the metallic twanging was very relevant to the gathered AUF members, so many of them ducked and ......
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.... cacophony of light, sound, danger and Janice Joplin images, plus a few of Ravi Shankar, and John Lennon. All of this meant that Dyno saw something that others had never experienced, so he set himself up as a Guru on a mountain top in Vicmanistan (the actual site is thought to up near Mansfield somewhere) and charged all of his pilgrims a fortune to hear his words of wisdom and to listen to him playing a 20 ft long dinosaur sized sitar, after which he did his best to get dinosaur chicks pregnant. Dyno the Guru (DtG) became a ...... While this top shot may look more like Keith Richards, you get the idea by combining both pictures. (NB Ravi is actually a bit of a dinosaur anyway).
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..... piste, because when they were not flying (avref) they would spend part of each winter ......
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...... a tad slower than the well-known measure of time known as "Quick-Stix", so that meant that the world was .....
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..... bred up much faster that Turbo had anticipated, in fact faster than rabbits, as it turned out that if nobody nicks the eggs for their morning omelettes, the gestation period of a dinosaur is just .....
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..... initially grinned with bemusement, but then he (at this stage we assume that it was a "he" as we hadn't had a chance yet to lift up his tail and check out the other end) realised that Turbo was using the Crocodile Dundee (but in this case the Pussy Turbine) 2 fingers and a thumb technique to subdue him. Eventually the tiger started to weaken & squat, just more because he was becoming weary after standing there for over 75 minutes waiting for the Pussy Turbine spell to take effect, and Pussy was becoming tired too (without his hourly usual glass of Scotch and a few clicks to check out the NES) but could not afford to show weakness as tigers can be really nasty after a failed spell and get even more fractious after becoming cross-eyed while watching Pussy's fingers go ...... While considering the below photo, just imagine that that big brown thing is a tiger and that muscular arm belongs to the rather more withered Turdy Planner.
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.... and discovered one of those crappy big ginger coloured moggies with 3 legs (there is compelling evidence that this moggie had chewed its own leg off to escape from the Turbine Cat Farm down the road in Heronvale) ....... [As readers will attest, many of us sometimes feel like doing something similar when Turbo goes into lecturing mode elsewhere on Wreck Frying]. As is usual with Cappy's shooting, the moggie was close to death and Cappy looked at Turbo to see if he was contemplating mouth-to-mouth, but ...... As one of OZ's most qualified snipers, Cappy's shooting over the years has shown that his use of a Pea Shooter was of similar effectiveness to Tubb's use of a 308 when set on full auto, so a Pea Shooter is all Cappy needs to be effective ...... Well, that and the fact that they took his Three 0 off him after Cappy plugged Turbo in the freckle region up the khyber under rule three-0-three.
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.... he noticed a lone GBM&OCL that was a free agent and not associated with any of the previously mentioned GBM&OCLs that have headlined in the NES to date. Caney felt danger so, in defense, he pumped up his umpteen poison glands to the extent that he looked like a 13 kg cane toad that was covered with .......
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.... picked up his 13 kg pet Cane Toad, imaginatively named Caney, because bull knew full well that a J160 landing out at bone airport at this time of night would take out hundreds of Caney's kin, hence the reason for the 160's loose undercarriage and the Cane Toad Splatters on the .....
