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Captain

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Everything posted by Captain

  1. ...... a chord with Turbo, and then himself, when he asked "Have you noticed that things have started to go wrong in the NES since JW has made his appearance, because here we have had issue with lost jockeys (known colloquially as a "Munchkin Convention"), so what do we do if Johan's family actually do have had a background of Nasty Nazi-ness?" Turdboy, who is actually the de-facto leader of the NES ..... and is also a Rabbi .... took this issue pretty seriously and he ...... Below please see a video, which is the spit of the way Turbo gives his sermons during his periods of Rabbi-ness.
  2. ..... a long flight but it would be complicated, because he had been hired to ferry one of Turbo's many P51 Hurricanes to the Bedouri Air Races, which Turbine Marketing had licensed from Reno on the promise that at Bedouri nobody gives a rats about fatalities and the rules will require all aircraft to fly 150 m lower than in Reno. As part of the promo, Turbo said "If we don't see willy willies caused by wing vorticies at every turn, there will be .....
  3. .... joining AOPA, where he would be encouraged to fly with that finger up his .....
  4. ..... wonder about his .....
  5. Jawohl Johann. But please allow Cappy to fill you in on a couple of issues, as your enthusiasm is admirable. Over the years, some general conventions have been developed within the NES that have worked well with our thousands of readers, particularly those overseas that are language challenged (or bombchuckers who write backwards), the former of whom may include some of your rellows who are sitting at the moment drinking schnapps and liebfrauwein in The Berghoff in the Andes. The 1st is that comments are mostly written in italics so that stewed ant pilots don't get too confused. The 2nd is that all contributions to the Never Ending Story commence with .... , continue on in some manner from the previous brilliant contribution from one of our authors, and then end with ..... to allow the next Rhodes Scholar to follow on with his or her (NTTIAWWT) contribution. The 3rd was that punctuation and capital letters were an essential part of the exercise, but that rule was chucked aside to cater for one of our most faithful and most valuable contributors who had come through the Nth Qld edumacation system and was having difficulties, as the QES computer that he was given as a kiddie had no caps keys nor any punctilliation keys that worked. The 4th is that this is the Never Ending Story (NES) ...... and not the Never Ending Comment (NEC), so gird your loins young Johan and we look forward to whatever contribution you might make. PS Sorry to hear about the Cessna, but keep trying and you are welcome here anyway.
  6. ..... but then again, ..... Cappy notes that verbosity is well received in the NES and further notes that JW is likely to give Turbo's tomes a bit of a punishing.
  7. NOTE TO OUR HUNDREDS OF NES CONTRIBUTORS - Please use care and restraint with your Cessna jokes now that John W has joined us .......... or at least until Cappy can check the files in Argentina to see whether John is part of the SS Werners, or that other Werner family tree who were less extreme. bull ..... John is from Tasmania. Do you know him? And can you attest as to his suitability for the high demands of the NES.
  8. .... where Margot Fontaine was well known for liking a bit of pork on her fork, and Rudy could do wonders with a quart of vodka, a rather large diameter seasoned pork sausage, a full dip plie, and a gasp ......
  9. .... until a New Zulander was looking to buy a mine in WA and was down in the grotto. "Hung on thur" he said "Thut's an unforguttable odor from my expurimental youth down in the buck padduck, and thus changes all of my preconcuptions about .....
  10. ..... salting, hence the 12 gauge shottys that brought a roaring trade for OT when he would hire them to mine owners near "end-of-life" after he had already made a handsome killing from hiring his hundreds of equipment items. For $5,000 per cartridge, OT would also provide cartridges pre-loaded with pure gold pellets that he had ..... A classic western aphorism commonly attributed to Mark Twain defines a gold or silver mine as a hole in the ground with a liar on top.
  11. This post, Dear Readers, has gone viral on Chinese social media, as billions of Chinese, who had grown tired of the bland taste of Pangolin & rice, are now rejuvenated by the prospect of the pangolin meat being basted with the rich taste of blackberry. This has also generated a new line of Chinese gastronomy as many in Inner Mongolia are also excited about the possibility of Pangolin in a Sambuca & cream sauce. Franchised restaurant chains are already being planned, and shares + futures in Maccas China have slumped.
  12. .... WA, where they believe in even more freedom and even less currency, because in WA they .....
  13. This shows the pull and standing which that Clinic must have had with the forearms (gunref) industry, where they were happy to develop an entirely new caliber just for one user. It must therefore be part of the Turbine Clinics and Hospitals organization, as on checking, that caliber has been registered to the Turbchester/Turbine and Wesson firearms conglomerate.
  14. .... respond in a minor scale or by using a major chord if that would assist the flow & rhythm of the NES. However, the Bomb Chucker security guy at the door misunderstood Pangolin body language such that he had had enough of Pangy, and couldn't envision how Pangolins could possibly be as doubly useful as a goat, so he .......
  15. .... he melted, as Pangy had developed a fine appreciation of the female human form, so he rolled over in order to look cute and to gain sympathy. Many of the patients in the waiting room assumed that he just wanted his tummy rubbed, but he was actually wanting a b.........
  16. ..... Cappy, who has always learnt to stay calm when his swingers are involved, but as he was getting ready the flatten the pangolin's melon with a brick, he noticed the sleep filled eyes, which reminded him so strongly of his dear best mate, Turbo, whose eyes looked exactly like that little fellow in the photo, even at 3 o'clock in the arvo. This prompted Cappy to keep the pangolin as a pet, named him Pangy (this being a suitably gender neutral name .... because it is hard to establish the sex of a pangolin without somebody accusing you of deviancy), picked it up and carried it to the nearest doctor that had a hot good-looking nurse to whom he could expose his damaged inner thighs and swingers. This methodology had always worked in the past as a precursor to establishing a meaningful horizontal relationship, even back in the regiment's hospital during his time up the Khyber, where British upper-class nurses were often liberated from their strict anti-colonial upbringing. Pangy became a favourite in the .....
  17. ..... pet pangolins also in deep sh1t if they get crook, as they soon end up in a .....
  18. ..... this spawned a chain of the below Vet Clinics and Chinese restaurants, another Turbine Marketing initiative, with a short-cut hole in the wall between them to ensure that any veterinary failures were used to good ends and to ......
  19. ..... a zookeeper's uniform and carrying a .....
  20. ..... Turbo, who is widely experienced in matters heavy duty (like many of his non-NES 20,000 posts [some might say "hard going" but I would not go that far, because Turdbro's knowledge has been described by many as the equivalent to AI ......... but with a bad attitude]), brought the discussion to a grinding halt (like his Freightliners do when their chassis' fail) when he both opined and proscribed, that the W & B of a D-375 would ......
  21. As readers sadly consider OT's "reminiscent tears" they should all also consider the numerous mine owners, public authorities and other miscellaneous clients that OT may have charged by mistaking the hours and other "optimistic" charging methodologies. Having spent much time with OT, I know him to be a good bloke that I would trusted with my life, however suffice to say that good maintenance management has meant that all of his aircraft and machinery have been sold with low hours & always below 250. In fact the most worn items in OT's fleet were the drills that he used to rewind odometers and hour meters.
  22. ..... overly protective and woke PPE. This, dear readers, is a very timely and apt reminder that .....
  23. ..... as in WW2, a contingency plan was drawn up to give them half of OZ if any of the bullets nicked anyone. However, this time instead of handing over everything north of the Tropic of Capricorn, it was decided to just give the Japanene the crappy parts of the country, after all "What have the Japanese ever done for us?" So, a document was developed to give them Collingwood and Moorabbin, Redfern and Willcania, most of SA, the middle crappy bit of WA (but only where it has been certified that there are no minerals), Alice Springs and much of the NT and all of the ACT (including Penny Wong and that bloke who claims to be the PM). Well, dear readers & for our thousands of readers in foreign lands and for those seeking freedom in Iran, ..... in a 2025 rerun of the Life of Brian, where Turbo plays Stan, the one that wants to be Loretta & have babies, and Onesie plays Mikey Palin & says "Well, there is the Subaru Impreza STI, the latest Toyota Supra (an example of German/Japanese cooperation, and look where that got us in 1940), the Suzuki Boulevard Cruiser in white, the Komatsu D575A-3 SD, the ........ OT is sending all of his CAT spares off in the recycling bin, getting his CAT tatts laser removed, and converting everything to Komatsu (including his Tonka Toys and diecast collection).
  24. ....dinarily that would be a sound argument but ....
  25. .... many 15 seater Troopies with no seat belts, and flogged 'em to the mines at gleat plofit, but then again, he arso ......
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